Christmas charity appeals

The cunt Ewan Mcgregor is at it again with a charity appeal. When I say at it again, his charity appeal from last year was being shown again earlier, obviously too busy to record a new one. The fucker’s net worth is 40 million, and he is asking me for money? ask your rich luvvy friends you cunt, I will never see 40 million if I lived 40 lifetimes fucker, put your own money in.

And as for the salvation army appeal for a christmas meal for a pensioner, and they want £19 for that? who the fuck is cooking it? gordon Ramsay? My whole xmas day provisions will cost less than £19 including the sufficient volumes of alchohol required to sleep through it

Nominated by: The oncoming fart

Age UK

Age UK Logo rgb

Age UK are cunts….

A mate of mine lost his girl (who he’d been with 11 years)l in a car crash only last year… He’s worked solid since he left school (He’s now 38), but after the crash he went to pieces and lost his job… Those soulless cunts at his local Jobcentre have shown him no understanding… They have teamed up with one of their other Tory collaborator bedfellows (Seetec, I think they’re called) and put him to work in a ‘charity shop’ called Age UK…

These cunts are basically ’employing’ a decent and honest man who needs grief counselling 9 to 5 for fuck all…

It’s not just that though, In my dinner hour (I work at the bottom of Deansgate) I went to Bury to pick something up, so I popped in to see him… He’s a shadow of his former self and seems lifeless.. And the shop? What a fucking shithole! Selling crap that nobody wants, and full of loonies, foreign cunts on the blag, and scrotes who stink of BO and piss…

Now, that’s bad enough, but his ‘boss’ is also a total bitch… I have witnessed her today barking at her ‘staff’ like Sybil Fawlty shouts ‘Basil!’ only worse… She talks to him (and others) like crap and how a bastard schoolteacher (we’ve all had’ em!) does to kids….

I’ve told him to just fuck them off and that his mates will look after him… But I think he just wants to get out of the house… He‘s too good for a dump like that… And Age UK – for exploiting vulnerable people and being up Duncan Smith’s arse – are utter cunts and a plague on their so-called ‘charity’…


Nominated by: Norman

Flood aid


Lack of real help for the flood hit North of England is a cunt.

We should not be sending (or seriously reduce) foreign aid to rich countries and help the fucking British people (who have contributed through taxes etc to the foreign aid budget anyways) who are living in flooded homes and keep getting bombarded by more rain. This clearly shows the cuntitude of this Government and Gideon Osbourne keeping his foreign friends happy with aid, probably in return for British trade contracts or a nice holiday home etc.

Seriously this is a pisstake, and that cunt Michael Sheen who said we should not take money from Foreign aid to help flood victims is a clueless moron with money than sense Cunt.

Nominated by: Black & White Cunt

Oxfam are an insensitive bunch of cunts holding out the begging bowl on telly for water aid for Africa at £3 a month while the North East is under water.

Charity begins at home. Bill Nighy needs to fuck off to Yorkshire and Cumbria and hang his head in shame for taking part in this tasteless piece of shite!

Nominated by: Dioclese

Pudsey [3]

knitted rudolp

knitted chugger cunt

Yes it’s time to welcome the Prince of Chuggers, the legalised Robin Hood of BBC TV, the cunt of cunts – Pudsey the fucking bear!

Every year the Beeb roll out their pre-Christmas ‘charitee’ bash to raise millions from gormless pricks who donate money to watch the mind bogglingly tedious load of absolute shite that is Children in Need.

When my wife was deserted by her ex and left with a 18 month old child they were definitely in need. Nobody gave them fuck all for nothing and she had to work her arse off in some totally shitty jobs to put food on the table. That’s life. If you can’t support your kids, you shouldn’t be a parent – but then why bother when cunts like Pudsey give you money for fuck all – after deducting expenses of course.

I was once stopped going into work by a bloke with a bucket who said I couldn’t go in until I give Pudsey some of my hard earned. He needed to borrow that fucking eye bandage shortly afterwards…

Fuck Pudsey. Fuck Children in Need. Fuck the BBC. Put some decent programmes on, you lazy parasitic cunts!

Still, this year it’s on Friday 13th so with a bit of luck something will drop on Pudsey from a great height and rid us of the little turd!

Nominated by: Dioclese

Diversity Role Models

Suran Dickson, CEO, with a couple of other diverse cunts...

Suran Dickson, founder & CEO, with a couple of diverse cunts…

No, cunts. For the avoidance orf doubt, this is not a modelling agency specialising in woofs, dykes and trannies, it is a Charity!

Well fuck me furrier and bugger me butler! Having benefited from a birth into the liberal social mores orf the landed aristocracy plus a public school education, I fancied meself pretty bullet proof when it came to the sexual predilections orf the vulgi ignobilis (common people cunts). Indeed as a callow youth I was schooled in the corrupt decadences orf pre war Berlin. So let them have their cake and fuck it I say. I am not shocked, no rather like Zola’s Gaston in Gigi I am merely bored. Bored that the flowering orf a few perversions amongst today’s spotty young tossers has been commandeered by the PC Diversity Brigade. Channel 4 documentaries and self serving charities abound me dears in what was once the preserve orf the public khazi and the sleazy room with stained beds rented by the hour.

In place orf a discrete cottage industry with a spot orf furtive wanking in women’s knickers or a pair orf dykes sharing a Coke bottle or some stiffy sporting jasper hobbling to work in a girdle and suspenders under his M&S suit, we now have a grant funded profession me dears with statistics and a whole new language to validate it. We are told that the yoof orf today is gender fluid or gender neutral and surfing on a sea orf non aligned sexuality that spans the gamut orf the gay, the straight and the bi-curious with one in two 18-24 year olds somewhere in the middle. Throw them a lifebelt I hear you say. Certainly but not until they have had the opportunity for a meaningful inner dialogue about their sexuality led by a very highly remunerated trans-co-gender life style facilitator. All this before we delve into the gay Muslim drag queen scene or the Gaysian Community.

In the prophetic words orf The Daily Fail, you could not make this up!

(Oh and do not fail to re-acquaint yourself dear reader with some more old friends orf this blog orf fun pictured therein)

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke