The BBC (28)

If no one else has, can we get a quick Monday morning Cunting for the BBC, who seem to have decided that `we’re all DOOMED’ now we have actually left the EU. They have absolute proof of this, because of all the floppy cunts they have bussed in from left-wing media circles to review the Papers have agreed with them. It beggars belief.

As a nation we have never been that good at blowing our trumpet, and we’ve given much away for free that would have only boosted our world rankings in all areas even further, but this remain centric, self-flagellation is truly eye-wateringly awful. These cunts will do a Peston and piss their miserable, self-fulfilling prophetic piss straight into the heart of our newly ignited fire.

This country is great, and these fuckwits should back it and use its leverage to promote their agenda in places where they really need a kick up the arse to take the next steps up the emotional and intellectual evolutionary ladder. You know all those places that think female genital mutilation is right because women should be fucked, but they shouldn’t fucking enjoy it, or where going to work in a mud-hut, slum factory at aged five, a thousand meters from the largest private residence on Earth, is the norm.

Get a fucking grip, you utter cunts. We live in utopia.

Nominated by GGRF

Sjoerd Groeskamp

CUNT OF THE WEEK
A shoe in for this week’s prize cunt goes to Sjoerd Groeskamp. “who the fuck is he?” I hear you say. Well, read on…

A Dutch scientist has proposed building two mega dams in the North Sea in an attempt to protect 25 million Europeans from rising sea levels.

Sjoerd Groeskamp, an oceanographer at the Royal Netherlands Institute for Sea Research, said a ‘possible solution’ to global warming’s rising effect on our oceans is to build a 300 mile dam between Scotland and Norway and an additional 100-mile barrier between France and England”

Apparently, it’s only going to cost between 250 – 500 billion and after all that’s only about 3 HS2s so an absolute bargain!

Think of all that free hydro energy that we can use to power all those electric cars.

And think of the benefits of a land bridge between the UK and Europe. Like no more immigrants dying on little rubber boats now they can just walk across.

Think of all the revenue we could raise by charging shops to use one of the busiest shipping lanes on the world. It might even be self funding.

And while we’re at it, why not drain the North Sea completely and use the land to build houses and grow food?

It’s a brilliant idea. Has anyone told Greta?

Yes, taking all of this into account, Sjoerd Groeskamp is a solid gold, grade A cunt…

Nominated by Dioclese

Dead Pool [155]

Congratulations to our musical friend Chas C who correctly used obviously inside information to predict that Andy Gill, the founding member and guitarist of British post-punk band Gang Of Four, has died aged 64.

The musician’s scratchy, staccato riffs provided the band with their signature sound, and influenced the likes of Nirvana, Fugazi and Franz Ferdinand.

Gill had developed a “respiratory illness,” after finishing an Asian tour. The word coronovirus comes to mind, but the tour was a while back.

On to Deadpool 155:

The rules

1)Pick 5 famous cunts you think are next to conk out.Picks are first come first serve.No duplicates allowed.You can always be a cunt and steal other players picks from previous rounds (Like Black and White Cunt frequently does)

2)Anyone who nominates the world’s oldest man or woman is a cunt and will be ignored.

3)It must be a newsworthy cunt we have heard of.

Terry Christian (3)

A ‘bong! bong!’ Big Ben cunting is surely in order for Remoaning Manc manic Terry Christian.

Many of you may not have heard of this gobby cunt, so let me quote to you from his Wikipedia entry, which delightfully describes him as an ‘unknown English broadcaster, journalist and author’. Older cunters may remember him as the presenter of C4’s ‘yoof culture’ show ‘The Word’ back in the early 90s.

Anyway, on a recent edition of ‘Good Morning Britain’, Christian made an absolute tool of himself, going into full-on ‘Brexit Derangement Syndrome’ rant mode. Included in his arm-waving tirade against Brexit were the now familiar wild Remoaner claims that the country’s ‘absolutely finished’, ‘how do we look to the rest of the world?’, and that Leavers ‘voted for it based on lies’. The buffoon went so far as to label the referendum result as ‘meaningless’, and tried to defend as a joke a tweet in which he stated that Brexiteers were ‘pitiable saps’ who deserved job losses.

During the course of this full-blown meltdown, the loony cunt hardly allowed fellow guest (Tory MP) Mark Francois to get a word in edgeways, and even managed to out-shout host Piers Morgan, no mean feat in itself.

Go on fellow cunters; click onto the link and relish the sight of a semi-coherent, democracy denying Remoaner shitweasel stewing in his own bile;

Terry Christian? Terry Fuckwitt* more like. Suck it up, Fuckwitt. Independence Day is finally here!!!!

Nominated by Ron Knee

* with apologies to ‘Viz’ comic.

Banning the Big Ben bong

There’s some miserable fuckers out there and no less so than the cunts who aren’t going to allow Big Ben to ring out at 11 o’clock tonight as the Uk finally escapes the straight jacket of the Evil Empire.

Surely to Christ it doesn’t take massive amounts of ingenuity to work out a way around the problem of ongoing maintenance on the clock tower preventing the bell from ringing? So they can’t ring the bell. Well then, get a tape recorder and a fucking great amplifier. I’m sure our old mate Chas would lend them his 200 watt HiWatt stack and his iPod for the night…

And what about the £272,000 that was crowd funded after the first excuse that it was too expensive to ring that bell? Well, some good will come off that as it’s going to charity.

Might I suggest that the Royal British Legion would be a suitable recipient? After all, they’re representing the people that gave their lives the last time we fought to escape the clutches of Europe – although the French seem to conveniently forget that.

So at 11 tonight let’s hang the washing on the Siegfried line, remind Varouka that it’s a long way to Tipperary, cry God for Harry (well, maybe not the current Harry), England and St George and remind them they ain’t getting our fish.

As Winston once said, it might not be the end of the beginning or even the beginning of the end, but at least it looks like it could be the end of the beginning…

Fuck ’em. Let’ em eat cake!

Nominated by Dioclese

#bigbenbong #BrexitDay #bigbenbongban