The Emmy Awards


The Emmys – Just like the bilge-fest that was the Oscars, yet another yank luvvie vehicle for Trump bashing.

Yes – glitterati – Trump may be a shite President but have you ever thought about why he got in when 95% of the press, etc., we promoting Killary?

The answer is that ordinary yank folk (outside of the political and media bubbles – who hate ordinary folk) actually voted for something, anything other than yet another 4yrs of political sameness where no one in power gives a fuck about them so long as they are in power!

You cunts in Hollywood are so far removed from reality it’s unreal, I just wish the same folk who voted Trump would stop watching your films and TV series. As soon as those ratings began to fall you sharp change your La La Land tune, or at least shut the fuck up! You cunts!

Nominated by Rebel without a Cunt!

Who the fuck is that gormless looking git who hosted the Emmys? Talk about cringeworthy embarrassment on a stick! Completely not funny or in the least bit entertaining, so I guess he’s American?

Some talentless twat call Stephen Colbert, apparently. Never fucking heard of him!

Let’s keep it that way…

Nominated by Dioclese

Sir Keir (don’t call me Sir!) Starmer KCB QC MP


This gormless looking turd first came to public notice as Director of Public Prosecutions in bigoted old woman Gordon Brown’s hopeless fag-end New Labour Government back in 2008.

Amongst other duties, the dim fuckwit’s DPP job was to find ways of not charging corrupt politicians caught defrauding the taxpayer by fiddling their expenses.

Furthermore, in 2009 he approved a decision not to prosecute keystone cops over the illegal fatal shooting of Charles de Menezes on the London underground four years earlier. Also (as esteemed mucker TECB kindly reminded me) Sir Kunt then went on to excuse plod Simon Harwood for the blatant manslaughter of Ian Tomlinson in 2010.

For these achievements and more he was appointed in 2014 ‘Knight Commander of the Order of Bath’ (KCB) for “services to law and criminal justice”. You could not make it up.

Sir Kunt has also been hired sporadically (for a small fortune) by law firm Mishcon de Reya, notorious as one of three firms that brought arch Remoaner-mong Gina Miller’s High Court legal challenge, chucking spanners in the Brexit works and costing the taxpayer £millions – just to delay Treesa May invoking Article 50.

He quit doing work for them after being appointed shadow Brexit Secretary by comrade Corbyn in October 2016.

Earlier this year, in answer to an opening question put by Andrew Marr, Sir Kunt – with total irrelevance – couldn’t help but immediately launch into something like (I paraphrase),

“Could I just say…before going any further… that my thoughts, prayers and bleeding heart goes out to the families and friends of [insert victims & calamity of choice here] who I know not from Adam, care even less about, and would run a country fucking mile from spending even 5 seconds with in the same room, blah-blah-virtue-signal-woof-woof.”

Andrew Marr’s reaction? Irritation, judging by the expression on his face.

Despite using his title when it suits, champagne socialist Sir Kunt conveniently dropped the ‘Sir’ during the General Election campaign to promote an illusory ‘ordinary man’ image.

“Address as Mr Starmer,” he advised Commons colleagues and officials.

More recently (together with ‘principled’ comrade Steptoe & numerally challenged Flabbott) he has performed multiple Brexit policy U-turns, most recently calling for Britain to stay in the Single Market and Customs Union for AT LEAST two years AFTER we finally extricate ourselves from the Evil Empire…

last week the useless cretins cynically bent over backwards to undermine Brexit whipping Labour to vote against the European Union (Withdrawal) Bill and bring down the Government. They lost, Brexit may still happen – democracy lives to fight another day.

A festering cunt of the highest KCB order.

Nominated by Shitcake Baker

Vince Cable’s Lib Dems


The Lib Dems need to fuck off, Vince Cable is a deluded cunt who seems to be even more deluded than Tim Farron. Tim realised when the electorate told him to fuck off that his idea of a referendum on the result of the outcome of the referendum was not what the people wanted. So after seeing close up the mistake of his predecessor Vince says the same old shit. What a drain on the taxpayer.

Nominated by Blank & White Cunt

Cable reckons his record in government speaks for itself. If it does then it’s saying ‘We’re fucking useless’

Nominated by Dioclese

Saw Sir Vince Cable on Channel 4 news earlier and he looks even more wobbly and ancient than in recent times.
After he said that bit about being the next Prime Minister and the cameras cut back to the interviewer in the studio, I swear you could see the interviewer trying not to piss himself laughing at the ridiculous old fart. Great TV.

Nominated by Ian Appropriate

I just have to nominate Vince Cable for the deluded cunt of the year, after he said this weekend that he could become the next Prime Minister.
I thought Farron was the biggest fantasist in the Liberal party, but Vince beats him hands down. What a knob head

Nominated by Iamnot

Cold Feet


Cold Feet. The most banal shyte to currently smear liquid diarrhoea on the TV screen.

I really would love to yank the syrup from the stupid grinning turnip of that Oirish cuntbag James Nesbitt, hoof him in the beanbags with my knee and finally push him over into some hot, sticky dogshit.

Wow, what a cathartic.

Nominated by Paul Maskingback

Lad banter


Having spent a torturous evening out with ‘friends’, I would like to deliver a cunting to middle-class ‘lad banter’. So drained and driven to distraction am I by this fucking phenomenon tonight, I can’t cunt with much strength – but fuck me, I’ve got to get this down before bed.

I’m sure there’s a more succinct name for the phenomenon (apart from ‘cunt’ that is), but no, I’m not talking about hipsters or out-and-out geezers. Seeing a friend back from living abroad for a few years, it was good to catch up. Sadly he keeps many cunts for company. All asking each other if they want a “cheeky pint”. Endless sage agreement terminating in “awww mate” in faux-mockney accents that only cunts from Berkshire, Cambridgeshire and Hertfordshire can manage. The sort of cunt who orders a Hungryhouse while exclusively watching the Dave channel, giving it the fucking pub philosopher pseudo-cuntishness, interspersed with artificial football knowledge derived almost exclusively from playing Championship fucking Manager.

One cunt in particular, wearing a hoodie – a cunt in his late 30s, for the love of cunt – with ‘Punkers’ emblazoned on it in the style of the Snickers logo would not stop saying “mate”, “mate”, “mate”… the fucking word is riniging in my ears right now like mildly-concerning tinnitus after a Megadeath set. Grinding my teeth and trying so hard to ignore the cunt, my only solace was the warm comfort in fantasising about burying a fire-axe deep into his subhuman skull; fondly imagining the spasms and involuntary eye-rolling as the cunt finally falls silent and slumps beside his last ‘cheeky pint’.

There is a faint possibility of course that I am the real cunt and just hate most people in the world. But #ladsbanter is a monumental cunt and no mistake.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back