Sir Edward Julian Egerton Leigh

Eurosceptic MP Edward Leigh,The ‘Honourable Member’ for Gainsborough, has been very critical of Maybe’s bucket of shit Brexit deal, and has said that he wouldn’t back it. He’s now announced that he’s changed his mind and will vote for it after all; two weeks after being appointed to the Privy Council. What a coincidence.

My my, but you sold yourself cheaply sunshine. That’s not even worth thirty pieces of silver. There’s a word, and it begins with ‘c’, that comes to mind…

Nominated by Ron Knee

Grieve & Bercow

Has there ever been a pair of more treacherous cunts in the history of modern British politics?

This morning it is revealed that John “Bollocks to Brexit” Bercow held a meeting in his plush taxpayer funded apartment with arch Remoaner Dominic Grieve the evening before Bercow completely rode roughshod over constitutional protocol by allowing Grieve to table an amendment to an unamendable bill..

Grieve’s comment on the meeting? “I often speak to the Speaker about all sorts of things. We’re fellow Buckinghamshire MPs. But I am not in the business of suborning Speakers. They make up their own minds. I tabled my amendment without speaking to the Speaker. How the Speaker decided to approach the amendment is a matter for him.” So it was all just a coincidence then? Like fuck do I believe that one!

Meanwhile in his Buckinghamshire constituency, the chair of the local party said he had been ‘bombarded’ with letters of complaint about Grieve calling for him to be deselected. He added: ‘We don’t want him to stay as our MP. If he tries to stand again I would personally hurl rotten tomatoes at him.’

Grieve’s comment? He said he was “unaware of any calls by local Beaconsfield Tory association members for him to be deselected over his actions last week and denied that he plans to stand down at the next Election.” Well, it’s in the national press this morning so I guess he’s aware of it now? I find his statement incredulous – but then he is a lawyer!

And as for Mr Bollocks to Brexit? A spokesman said “Meetings with parliamentarians are private and we do not comment on them.”

A pair of undemocratic, untrustworthy cunts if ever there was one…

Nominated by Dioclese

High Street banks

I nominate high street banks, the few which are left anyway.

Once upon a time, in the good old days, you could get everything done at the cashier’s till. Pay in, take out cash, sort out standing orders, switch funds etc….

Now you can only use the cashier to pay in or take out cash. Anything else and you have to give your name to some twat who hovers around, carrying a clipboard, then wait ages to see an ‘adviser’

The only way to avoid it is to do online banking, but I don’t trust that because of all those hacking cunts trying to steal my dosh, bastards.

Time to put all my cash under the mattress.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

Rabbie Burns [2]

What better way to kick off the New Year than with a haggis-loaded cunting of Scotland’s own national treasure, Rabbie Burns…?

I went to his birthplace and museum a couple of months back and concluded that apart from being a right know it all, a social justice warrior and a shirt lifter, he wrote some really shite poetry. His ode to the haggis is bad enough without that nasty little new year dirge Auld Lang Syne. What the fuck do those words mean anyway? Well, for those of you who give shit ( and I certainly don’t ) the title actually means ‘back in the day’ or ‘days gone by’ and goes on to say the best way to remember old friends is to get pissed out of your brain. I gather the Scots are quite good at that.

So fuck New Year, definitely fuck Jools Holland’s annual hootenanny, stick your haggis up your arse and do to Rabbie Burns what should be done with all treasures – bury the bugger somewhere you can’t find it…

Nominated by Dioclese

Vegans

Vegans are cunts of the highest order.

They are truly the worst fucking kind of people around – you don’t need to spot a vegan because they tell you they’re plant munching cunts, even if you don’t ask.

What’s worse, are the extreme ones that have pets and feed them on a vegan diet – no fucking dog wants a dandelion… it wants meat…hell, it would rather eat its own shit than eat a fucking bit of foliage.

Activists, going around vandalising stuff and intimidating good, honest working people, think it’s ok to push their cult on to you. Well enough…. I would happily rub a juicy bit of ribeye round the face of a malnourished, stinking, tongue pierced bitch and eat it raw.

Cunts.

Nominated by Bear Cunt

Hot on the heels of a recent nom, PETA is getting it again. Just listened to an anemic, hectoring vegan moron on the radio whinging that phrases such as, “flogging a dead horse” and “killing two birds with one stone” are enabling animal cruelty. She suggests that instead of saying, “grabbing the bull by the horns”, we should say, “grabbing a rose by the thorns”.

Congratulations PETA, you’ve just motivated me to get my coat on and drive to the local takeaway to pick up a couple of bacon rolls.

Nominated by Shite & Onions