Today the country goes to the polls to elect a fresh set of stale old cunts to run what’s left of the country.

Under the circumstances, it seemed fitting that we should let you vote for another set of cunts in our traditional annual contest.

Will anyone top last year’s triple winner Theresa the Appeaser? Bercow and Swinson are hot favourites but can they do it??

CLICK HERE to register your vote!

The Giving Tree

A great big ho-ho-ho humbug of a cunting for ‘The Giving Tree’…

Just when you thought the retail festival known as Christmas couldn’t get more commercialised and cynical, there comes a new idea to prove you wrong – and just such an idea is the giving tree.

Kids hang tags on the tree saying what presents they would really like for Christmas, gullible twats take a tag and go into the shops and buy it. No OK, it goes to ‘cherity. mate’ but it’s basically still just a con to get you to part with your hard earned dosh.

Walk this way, sir, give us yer fuckin’ money…

Bah! Humbug! Cunts…

Nominated by Dioclese

Andre Cettina

A nomination for Andre Cettina – this cunt owns The Tannery cafe in Auckland and has introduced ‘gingerbread gender neutral people’ biscuits. This was in response to a cunt customer who questioned why the human-shaped snacks were called ‘gingerbread men’ and not ‘gingerbread people’. I would have just told the cunt to fuck off.

There has been a mixed reaction but some cunts think it is only right that gingerbread biscuits were given a more inclusive label in these ‘gender-neutral times.’
Another cunt said “This is a conversation starter, and these issues won’t be dealt with until we are open to talking about them,” people getting mad about this completely miss the point of what it could achieve. It isn’t ‘PC gone mad,’ it’s an opportunity to take a good hard look at yourself and your feelings around a sensitive topic and do some real introspective work on why you feel the way you do.”

It’s probably been endorsed by that limp wristed snowflake prime minister Arden and no doubt will be in the UK soon.

Nominated by Mystic Maven


People who wear Doo-rags are cunts, aren’t they.

Visiting your town centre nowadays is an education in 21st century fashion: the East Euro’s style is baggy grey tracky-bottoms whilst screeching at each other; for the blockades of chuggers armed with clipboards and disingenuous grins, it’s waistcoat and ubiquitous lanyard as dress sense; you’ll want to avoid touching the fashion choice of the day-tripping pîkeys/farmers, who are modelling piss-stained trousers and threadbare jumpers whilst dribbling, mesmerised, at two-storey buildings; the brown taxi-drivers prefer suits, sans tie, and trainers whilst discussing their next teenage prey in Urdu. However, lately there’s been a new trend: The doo-rag.

What fresh shit is this?

It resembles a skull cap or a head wrap. It’s a bit like the bandannas that are worn by 90s rockers or women cancer patients. Doris Day used to wear one. They are usually accompanied by an utterance of “Yo to yo” with splayed fingers giving out gang signs although these arseholes just look like they have chronic arthritis. To complement this ‘look’, they adorn themself with more jewellery than Jimmy Savile.

Why would you wrap these hankies round your noggin? You’re not a gangsta. You live in fucking Hertfordshire. As for white teenage boys who wear them, grow up, and get a life, you sorry-looking wîggers. Your name is Jeremy. Your mum’s in accountancy and you dad’s an estate agent.

Doo-rags have been the best way to advertise you’re a cunt since Ugg Boots were invented. This isn’t East L.A. or Chicago and you’re not a Crip or a Blud, you’re a cunt. For the love of fuck, have a word with yourself.

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous

Had to look them up myself,
Durags were originally the headgear of poor African American women labourers and slaves in the 19th century. In the 1930s, during the Harlem Renaissance and Great Depression, the durag evolved into a hairstyle preserver. After the Black Power Movement in the late 1960s, the durag became a fashion statement among African Americans, worn by rappers, athletes, and men of all ages. In the 2000s, wearing durags in public lost popularity in certain areas but maintained its popularity in others. However, because of rappers and the return of waves as a hairstyle, they have now regained their status as a fashion among the African American community.

Hillingdon Council YOSD

Youth offending service department-Hillingdon

Oh deary me what a bunch of cunts this group must be. They are so misguided that they thought that getting a load of dark keys, white wannabes and peacefuls together for a chat a cup of tea and a biscuit would solve the problem of knife crime in the London Borough of Hillingdon. Nope what actually happened is that the started stabbing each other at the meeting itself. Sadly some youngster lost their life. These self serving we can fix it groups are full of such misguided cunts it’s unreal.

I can see the YOSD committee now listening to David Lammy, Doreen and Flabott and blaming themselves ‘the average white man in the street’ for the F nick knife crime instead of telling them to fuck off

Nominated by Cuntsince1066

A cunting for what passes as government in this overcrowded isle. An aspiring rapper was attending a knife awareness course at Hillingdon councils town hall in Uxbridge youth offenders section most likely. Guess what he got shanked and died. Well loved , fell in with the wrong crowd, etc etc. No one was checked at entry to see if they were carrying knives, spears, axes whatever. Fuck me what is going on!!! Stabbed to death at a local authority knife awareness course tragic but shit I laughed so much I was almost sick. Paper stated he was of Dutch Origen most likely Somalie family refugees in Netherlands then moved to uk when the lure of better benefits called

Nominated by Black Biscuit