Dead Pool [139]

Congratulatios to ‘Er Indoors who correctly predicted that easy rider Peter Fonda would be the next dead cunt, dying of lung cancer at the age of 79.

On to Deadpool 139:

The rules.

1)You get 5 nominations no duplicates.You can always be a cunt and steal other people’s nominations (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).Nominations are first come first serve.

2)Anyone who nominates the world oldest man or woman is a cunt and will be ignored.

3)It must be a newsworthy cunt we have actually heard of.

Ken Clarke (3)

An at death’s door cunting for aging Tory MP and EU lover Ken Clarke.

This old doddering twat was quietly shuffling off in to the ether, until teeth and tits leader of the liberal undemocrats Jo Swinson name dropped him as a potential caretaker PM, based only on the facts that he’s a remainer and he’s old (sorry experienced*). Droopy face Clarke had three times been knocked back in his attempts to be PM in the past, mainly because of his love affair with the EU.

Desperately trying to take this slither of possibility that he might be relevant again, he’s now been on every media outlet there is, quite inconsistently telling the public how he’s going to “sort brexit out”. Clearly he’s not exactly sure how though, as he admitted he doesn’t actually know what’s going on at the moment, as he hasn’t been in any meetings with anyone important for some time.

Like all other remainers, there’s no actual plan, apart from inevitably stopping brexit altogether. Even though Swinson is adamant her stance is to destroy brexit, her aging recommendation says he will seek an extension to the brexit deadline to allow more negotiation time. I think he’s just picked up the Theresa May handbook on how to deceive the public and opened the bookmarked page.

Ken Clarke, fuck off, there’s a reason you never legitimately became leader, you’re a cunt yes, but the wrong kind of cunt. You might as well jump ship to the limp dums now, Swinson might even let you fuck her as a reward for being a wanker.

Nominated by elboobio

Christ on a bike – just when you thought Westminster politics couldn’t get more fucking ridiculous along comes Ken Clarke to prove you wrong.

Apparently our Ken has graciously agreed to allow himself to be shoe horned into the top job in what amounts to a Coup d’Etat orchestrated by Magic Grandpa, Swinney the Loon and a bunch of Tory traitors.

Two questions come to mind…

1. Isn’t this called “treason”?
2. Why are these cunts still allowed to take the Tory whip?

Just asking…

Nominated by Dioclese.

John McDonnell (5)


A Marxist (without Spencer) cunting please for this seedy, dangerous, insidious shit heel who apparently intends “sending Jeremy Corbyn in a taxi” (surely a minicab would be more in keeping with the “for the many not the few” bollocks he always spouts), to tell H.M. “they are taking over”.

This vainglorious cuntery tells you all you need to know – it is McDonnell, not Steptoe who makes the bullets for others to fire.

It also proves the only way this gang of Marxist motherfuckers with their titled champagne socialists, fellow travellers, pansies and men-hating dykes and feminist hangers-on would be to take power rather than be elected – and they are only too aware of it – and they would still; need the help of Lib-Dem, SDP and Caroline Lucas rabble to “help” them – and you can be sure within weeks there would be some Christ almighty row that would blow the ramshackle cunts apart.

Surely even the most dim Daily Mirror/Guardian/BBC:Independent (sic) shill can see what a bunch of dangerous deluded cunts they are.

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

Pre-emptive strikes

Pre-emptive strikes – or to be more precise, pre-emptive resignations.

Yesterday, following hot on the heels of recently honoured cunt Spreadsheet Phil, Sir Alan Duncan went a stage further than threatening and actually resigned from the government that hasn’t been formed yet because he can’t serve under the leader who hasn’t actually been elected yet.

His reason? So he can table a motion of no confidence in his own party presumably because they might actually elect a leader by an overwhelming majority who doesn’t agree with him.

Ignoring the fact that only the Leader of the Opposition can table a no confidence motion, how can anybody be so totally stupid as to want a no confidence motion in a government that hasn’t been formed yet?

Surely he should now resign from the Conservative Party as he refuses to respect the majority wishes of the membership. No? Well, what would you expect from a remainer?

Siralan, you are a cunt

Nominated by Pedantic Cunt

Alan Duncan is deserving of a cunting. I’m sure he’s been nominated before, but he definitely deserves another one.

Today, (Monday 22 July) Duncan has resigned as Foreign Minister, because he can’t bear the thought of being a member of a Boris Johnson government. What a drama queen. Apparently, he’s also sulking because that other monumental cunt, Bercow, turned down his request to make a statement in parliament. I think we can safely assume that his statement would have been nothing more than an anti-Boris rant. So for once, Bercow has actually done us a favour.

This guy is so full of his own importance he’s almost a caricature of himself. Why would he even assume that Boris would want him as a Minister in his government? I wouldn’t even give him a job as tea boy. If the thought of Boris is so repulsive to him, why not just quit as an MP? Oh yes, the overly generous salary, plus expenses, that’s why. This jumped up little cockwomble really needs taking down a peg or ten. He really isn’t that big a loss anyway.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

London, arsehole of the UK

What is the matter with these childish fuckers:-

‘Thousands of protesters have taken to the streets of central London in a march against Brexit and Conservative Party leadership hopeful Boris Johnson.’

They even have another fucking blimp, this time of Boris.

Fucking London again. The arsehole of the UK. None of these cunts have a fucking clue about life outside of their hipster, craft, artisan, Waitrose socialist shithole.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

What the fuck is the matter with people these days? Poor old Boris hasn’t even got the job yet and there’s a protest march to force him out.

The march in Londonstan (where else) was adressed by no other than Shola Mos-Shogbamimu, Femi Oluwole and Shahmir Sanni – all good old fashioned English names.

To them I echo what Trump said : if you hate our country and our democracy so much, feel free to fuck off and live somewhere more to your liking.

As you seem to love tbe Fourth Reich so much why not go live there? I’m sure they’ll make you welcome…

Nominated by Dioclese