Multicultural London English

 

I’d like to give a cunting to this accent. It fucks me off as it is now permeating many facets of life; adverts, radio (always BBC) DJs, in a few years the Labour Party (if it’s still around – hopefully as a fringe party to be laughed at). It annoys me because it has replaced cockney, it annoys me because it’s rapid ascendency just shows what a cunt Blair and his fucking multicultural vision has done to this country, it annoys me because the word ‘community’ has been altered to ‘koo-moon-it-E’, it annoys me because now the youth have a propensity to pepper their sentences with the word ‘like’, which has been altered to ‘laak’. It annoys me because grime “artists” are now given the time of day and producers of tv and radio now give them airtime, instead of saying “You sound like a stabby cunt who should be euthanised”. It annoys me because it is lazy (words are now meaning several things, suggesting it is for the indolent and thick). And it really fucks me off because it spawned that infernal word “innit”. It also annoys me because it reminds me of London, a foul hole filled with cunts who speak MLE in their various Koomoonities, which I think is London speak for drug dealing, knife wielding cunts who get uppity if you call them that and accuse you of being ‘waycist, blud’ and all voted for Corbyn.
If you want to sound like one of those cunts here is a video of how to do it from that Uber cunt Stormsie (Stormzy in MLE)

 

 

Nominated by Fortress Cuntimus

116 thoughts on “Multicultural London English

  1. I’m a jobbing English language teacher. Here goes…

    I will tell you, it is HIGHLY irresponsible to teach a student anything that deviates too far from an approximation of standard English pronunciation. It doesn’t have to be a cut-glass, blue-blooded “I say, Harold, wouldn’t you like to take a walk arind the grinds after supper?” or anything like that. Just, speak to be understood etc.

    There is also the phonemic chart that systemises all of our phonemes and is internationally referred to in English classes the world over. Most of our cultural exports lean towards this clear, classical elocution too (Harry Potter et al) and most people want to maximise ease of communication so they go with that. It’s not a judgement of say, Scottish, Liverpudlian or even a Midlands accent. They are just more regional and specific and totally unintelligible to an Italian doing a Listening exam. In fact, they look at you like you’ve replaced English speaking with someone gargling snot in Klingon when they have to listen a Scot asking for directions to the nearest post-office.

    That all said, I find LME really grating, even if it’s a legitimate regional accent. Mainly because people try to emulate it to sound ‘urban’ or well ard. The guy in this video is pre-eminently punchable. And, if my son or daughter came home one day talking like this I’d force them to watch Hugh Grant and Kate Winslet interviews alone for a month, then pack them off to theatre school. If they didn’t emerge sounding like Queen Emma Thompson, strangling a swan and requesting a game of tennis I’d send them into the army.

    They’d be a luvvie before they were a wannabe urban cunt (Tim Westwood, I’m looking at you).

    So, fair cunting if you are targeting middle-class try-hard, trust fund chameleons attempting to throw the sent off their privileged backgrounds.

  2. Fuck off cuntzy! Go back to that utter shit hole called Croydon and stay there and die of Chinese Flu.

  3. Portents of the end times, a plague, people speaking in a barbarian tongue and a fucking big comet due in at the end of the month?

    Apparently the comet is crumbling as it approaches the sun, we are likely to miss out.

  4. There’s fuck all wrong with Estuary English when compared to this street shitter jargon which is just more incomprehensible jibber jabber from efnix and their trustafarian adherents.
    Innit fam?

  5. Multiculturalism. A vision for many instigated by a few. I loathe the arsehole that is Tony Blair. A warmonger, liar, treasonous smug prick. When this virus shit is over with 6 million on the dole, who will the employers want to employ? The low wage trash that Tony and his cronies have brought in. I will probably be losing my job and have to contend with Tony’s imports. Thanks Tony, what joy you have brought to our working class ‘coom-un-e-dees’.

  6. I got 1 minute and 16 seconds into that video by which time that fucking tool had uttered two fundamental pieces of bullshit.

    First, he referred to Stormzy as a “musician”. Last time I checked, to be considered a musician, you needed to be able to play at least one musical instrument. What instrument does Stormzy play? Yeah, thought so.

    Second, he said “cockney” is the traditional working class accent of London. His use of the word traditional is what trips him up here because traditionally, cockney is an accent associated with the East End of London (not London as a whole) and technically speaking covers the area within earshot of Bow Bells, the bells within the St. Mary-le-Bow church.

    If you’re going to flap your lips about some subject you believe you have some knowledge of, you make a far more convincing case if you actually get your facts right. Which he didn’t. Which makes him a cunt.

  7. BBC News January 2023

    (Grime ‘clock countdown music’ plays) – voice says, “Dis be da 6 ha clack nooz innit. Wid ma main man, Niklas ‘rasclart’ Witchall and me hoe, Moira ‘bitchin’ Stewart, innit. Hear me now!, blud” – music ends.

    “Wagwan ma bitches. Dis Moira Stewart wid da word on da street. Main ting present l-ee… Da top boys fighting and up to mischief over prices of da goods fam. Dis report from my bitch, Laura ‘bitch soldier’ Kussenburg bitches. Tell the peeps innit, what’s going down bitch. Respec hear da bitch talk!”

    etc

  8. I have heard poncy middle class white lads , talk in this MLE shite, trying to be street…Believe it or not a few London black lads I met retain a Cockney accent…Grime culture is shit..at least Drum and Bass had multilayered structure and some tracks were cool….If you remember the bully in the Inbetweeners , talked like a stabby…

  9. With a little bit of encouragement and patience I’m sure you could teach a Gorilla to speak this lazy lingo, in fact I bet they talk like this when no human is in earshot.!

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