School Run Cunts

A drive by diesel, 4×4 cunting please, for these brain dead cunts.

Doing my little driving job today, the local school were putting on “Reservoir Dogs” or whatever. Fuck me, they were parking on corners of road junctions, opposite each other on narrow lanes, every sort of cuntitude was out in force. When I asked one twat when he last read the highway code, his considered reply was, “fuck off.” Told him what if some other sod’s kid got run over due to his cuntishness and I just got a grunt.

The ‘Yale Key of Justice’ nearly got an outing twenty minutes later. Pity there were witnesses.

Bastards all.

Nominated by CuntyMort

99 thoughts on “School Run Cunts

  1. Used to live near a school, my side garden used to go right to the road edge. Bastards always driving over it. Bit of slaters lat stuck in concrete with nails in it buried in the soil. Gave me hours of pleasure seeing all those popped tyres. Miss that house

      • They are cunts indeed.
        Todays kids are mardarses.
        Mummy 4×4 still breastfeeds the little fat pugsley looking kid.
        I never got driven too school, nobody did, an if your mam took you, you were labelled a mummys boy,
        An mummys boys got battered.
        Todays kids need the exercise, no self respecting kiddy dabbler would fancy the little lard arses so theyre perfectly safe!

        • Bloody miserable northern peasant. I love fat kids, fry one of the fuckers up, freeze and my cat’s happy for months.

      • I’m afraid not Bertie, though I’m always thinking of ways to upset cunts and snowflakes

  2. My commute to work takes half the time when the schools are off. If it isn’t the 52 seater skum shovels blocking the road, it’s the thick parents double parking near the bus stops so little Callum and Destiny don’t have to walk ten feet to the fucking bus. Then there are the dumb bitches who have to load their little burdens into the car from the roadside, not the pavement side, them and the car door narrowing what little gap there is to drive past. Also, all the slow witted grandparents who do the school run, driving at 11mph in case they have a bump with their precious cargo. Between that and the today programme on radio four, my blood pressure by the time I get to fucking work could be measured by PSI. Cunts.

  3. I deal with 3 schools professionally, actually two now because I told the Bursar of one that his groundsman was a complete prick, However because the groundsman planted a tulip bed up for the bursar he stopped using me, (The grounds and maintenance staff also left).
    On the lower scale one is £35,000 per term additional fees not included or £32,000 as a day child (20% off your third child ect).
    Any way I had to drop a large machine to one of the departments, I pulled up, hazards on strobes flashing and…………………..
    A fucking big black range rover pulls up underneath the drop ramp driven by I can only assume the former netball captain of a finishing school.
    What you are probably un aware of is that these people do one of two things, mime or ignore .
    So I politely approached said vehicle looking very official with a nice clean High vis, Helmet and clip board (sign of authority that is) any way, she went into blank face ignore me mode as she snapped orders at little tar-quine, I gave then gave a little wave to announce my presence to be replied to with a dramatic arms in the air shrug and quite possibly a “Joey” sign followed by a quick 8 point turn as she fucked off.
    I have to say they are “special” beyond belief of the two vocal altercations I have had with them.
    One refused to reverse into a passing place, so I shut the truck down and started reading a book, she then reversed into the place rolled down her window, gave me the finger and shouted “Your not much of a gentleman” ……
    I learnt a little from this because the next one was outside another school same scenario where they overshoot the passing place and expect you to reverse back a mile or so, However I was in a 4×4 (real one) so I went up the bank and gave her a bit of space to squeeze through.
    However she thought it might be prudent to pull along side and give me some shit, I am reasonable and when she started I calmly said that “You need to keep going, if I slip off the bank I will come down on you” She started shouting at me that I was “Ignorant” I didn’t loose my temper I just said ” and you look like you have been Tangoed” she went fucking mental, but fortunately couldn’t get out the car or I fear I would have been subject to assault from a large orange hippo.
    Note to all, some times holding tongue in these circumstances is the better policy, but I was mildly hurt by the “Ignorant” comment.

  4. I think that shit like this is half the trouble with children these days….they are made to believe that the world revolves around them. Parents are continually molly-coddling and treating them as equals or even superiors. Driven to school.given choices at mealtimes,asking for their input about holidays,given phones and computers etc…..no wonder they grow up thinking that they really are “Little Princes and Princesses”.

    Spoiled little Sods,in the main. I’d give them school “run”….they’d run there and fucking back.

    Using my tax-pounds to run fucking 4x4s indeed…if they can afford a car,they should have their child-benefit removed and refunded to the unwilling donors.

    • Afternoon Fiddler, the Chinese have even coined ‘Little Emperor Syndrome’ for the excesses of their spoilt middle class offspring so fuck knows what they would think of the spawn of our own clueless over indulgent parenting.

      • Dick, pretty much agree with all your post, were you slapped off your dad as a kid? Assume every poster on ISACs about the age where we would of been.

        • Never my Father,MNC…my Mother very occasionally,but mainly teachers..a lot of teachers.

        • A genuine question here,MNC….I saw a telly programme where the Mother said that she cooked different meals for each of her three children depending on what they fancied and when they fancied having it.

          Do parents honestly do that? It seems fucking incredible to me.

          • Im afraid they do Dick.
            My sister to my disgust cooks something separate for my 9yr old neice and heard worse.
            But we was both raised where this is what we are eating, take it or leave it.
            I feel (as i suspect you do too) that its lax parenting, letting a child dictate will cause it problems as a adult.
            My son went hungry if he didnt eat what was put in front of him, he got nothing.

          • My late mum never went that far, having eight kids 4 of each, if you complained at meal times ( that’s if there was anything to eat anyway) there would be a whoosh, a slap and you’d be on the floor with a fucking eat it or go without.

        • I’m of the age Miserable, where, for punishment I was sent up the chimney to clean out the soot.

          • “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.”

            Needless to say I was a much loved son and schoolboy.

          • I got my share too Ruff, but i genuinely feel i deserved it and it was for my own good.
            Know yours wasnt always fair, but mine was if sometimes a bit overly harsh.

      • At least the slanty-eyed Fuckers don’t indulge the little buggers on my money. No Cunt gives me 20 quid a week towards the upkeep of each of my hounds. If anything parents should be force to pay in for every kid that they have,not take out.
        It’s a fucking disgrace,LL,it really is.

        • I’m 38 Miserable and my sister and I felt the back of both parents hand when needed. Is there a point/age when this stopped? Probably the start of the Blair years when kids started to have ‘rights’ and parents criminalized for exercising responsibility for bad behaviour.

          • Nice Christmas Miles?
            You ever meet a fox hound?
            Quite big dog, lovely temperament though, and lots of scars on the muzzle, i assume fighting over food?
            Used to go a country show where the kids went into the ring to pet the hounds.

          • Evening Miles.
            I did indeed indulge the hounds on Christmas Day. I had a few rabbits that were a bit “high’ for me…not for the hounds though. They thoroughly enjoyed them.

          • Cant remember my mum hitting me past 14yr LL but i towered over her by that age and she couldnt hit for toffee.
            But my dad certainly did!
            At 15yrs if i wasnt home by 10.45pm the doors were locked and if couldnt kip at a mates i had night outdoors!!
            No shit, imagine that now?

          • Character building Miserable!, A 6’1 15 year old Miserable with his origins of a Brian Blessed beard kipping on the back step late back after smelly fingers with the bird two doors down.

          • Thats pretty near the truth mate!
            Was about 6,1in as a youth and did sleep many times over the road on a park from my mum & dads, but i knew the curfew time an knew he didnt bluff, so my own fault.
            Stockport is the home of Robinsons brewery an as teenagers we would rob barrels off the loading bay and hide them in the woods, didnt mind being locked out in summer, campfire an stolen beer !😀👍

          • You stop hitting your kids when they get bigger than you!
            I knew when my son said “I can take you”, that it was time to give up.

  5. The thing is these school run cunts know exactly what they are doing. Just see where they park when a cop car is in close proximity. All double yellows clear no one on the yellow cross hatches. Next day back to usual habits.

  6. I used to walk on my own to infants school in the day, once it came to senior school there was a bus laid on which admittedly I did catch in the morning, but was happy to forgo at home time, choosing instead to walk well over an hour, at the other school despite having a Local Authority bus pass I choose to cycle and enjoyed it.
    The cunts ferrying the precious little bundles to school no doubt allowing them more time to piss around on the phone, do more harm than good just encouraging that corrosive sense of entitlement and the premise life has to be ”nice” as they can’t deal with anything involving discomfort or physical effort.
    So to all those cunts providing the 5 minute limo service to school and can’t quite work out why your little darling is prone to tantrums when asked to do anything themselves you have only yourself to blame.
    As for the road sense and any thought to others in the vicinity these cunts have once they embark on the school trip, forget it.

  7. I’m not sure what’s worse – the Chelsea tractors or the bitches that can’t drive them.

    • It always has puzzled me why people buy machines that they cannot control. The eight point turn mentioned by Lord Benny is an all too common occurrence.
      Trust all you cunts had an enjoyable Christmas and ate on the road to recovery.
      Bertie, we still await proof that Percy is still on his perch.

      • Eight point turn and can’t park for money. There should be a logic part of the Driving Test, Guzzi.

      • You won’t drop it will you Guzzi?
        I’ve tried to assure you he’s ok but we haven’t got the technology on IsAC to be able to send you proof.
        Ah! I see now! It was you who sent that fuckin’ RSPCA man along to the house the other day. I told him I knew nahhfink about any dead parrot and directed him on to Fiddler
        Towers.

      • Every cunt near me seems to have some form of SUV (except me). And the fucking women can’t drive them either.

      • An old army saying’There are no bad soldiers, only bad officers’. This concept is equally true in the world of parrots.

  8. The whole extinction rebellion is created and driven by middle class well past their ovary date women breeding autistic, moron kids who believe they can see co2 or have been born in the wrong body. What these fuckers need is ice baths and…… ” Get your hands out your pockets you cunt. One two one two. Arms straight. Get your fucking haircut. One two, one two”.

    • Round here theres loads of spoilt little butterball computer addict kids taken to school by mummy in Range rovers.
      Fuckin Range rovers!
      An yes im Jealous!!
      Fuckin blonde slags never worked an nice car?
      Work my bollocks off an we have 3 vehicles but none are brand new Range rovers, the cunts!!!😠

      Ps id like a range rover.

      • You can get pretty much any car on motobility. Fuck off mercs, Volvos, soft tops, jags, whatever you fancy. Thick child? Register it as mong and start your motoring career and get a foot on the housing ladder at the same time. Yet listen to likes of Owen Jones and you’d swear we still shoved people up chimneys or down mines.

        • All motobility cars should be those pale blue 3 wheeler ‘spas’ wagons, with a huge disabled symbol on the doors and bonnet.
          That would stop a few of these lazy “my leg aches & I want a new car for free” cunts claiming mobility money & blue badges just so they can tipple into Tescos easier, the wankers.

      • No you wouldn’t, they are unreliable, not much has changed since Leyland sold the brand on

  9. I always walked my lad to school. I did the same when I was kid.
    Traffic was the usual shit outside the school even though there were yellow chevrons for 50 yards each way and the whole stretch was cross hatched with no stopping written all over it.
    In the middle was a dropped kerb for crossing.
    We were stood at that kerb waiting for a large car to pass, only for it to stop with its arse end right in front of me and the doors opened.
    Come on , I said to my lad, let’s cross. I promptly delivered my knee right into the rear quarter panel of the car leaving a nice big dent and feigned my pain. The woman instantly screamed “ what the fuck have you done to my car” in front of all the other kids.
    I calmly looked at her and said you had better call the police hadn’t you and carried on crossing.
    There was no follow up believe it or not.

  10. Women in Range Rovers who slow down to a crawl, to drive over a one inch high speed bump, what’s that about..?

    Depreciation wise, they’re a lead weight but if I had enough disposable, I’d like one also….

    • The 21st century Range Rover. A real cuntwagon. Driven by show-offs, spivs and arseholes. Wouldn’t touch one with a barge pole.

      Reliable as a GDR 1970s Wartburg. My current company car is a hybrid Volvo XC90, quite happy with that and wouldn’t swap for a Range Rover.

      • Agree with you Paul. Whilst lovely looking motors, the Landrover range has shocking reliability. I’ll buy one when their not made by lazy Brummie cunts.

  11. I had to walk 2 miles to my secondary school and 2 miles back, in hindsight it was a complete waste of shoe leather because I’m a dense cunt.

  12. Going off subject I had a classic shit today, real crowd pleaser, a single wipe! Single flush!
    I’m happy for the week now.

    • Obviously a baked Boxing Day Log, Snake. Are you sure Dynorod weren’t on standby?

    • Aww, I fucking love that. Stable shitting habits. I stopped drinking eight months ago due to being an alky and I’ve never shat better. I spent twenty five years shitting through the eye of a needle when all I had to do was give up the booze. IBS be fucked!

      • If I’d been your GP, I would always have suspected irritable beer syndrome first.

    • “Drawing an ace” is the expression, I believe. Nothing like it to put a smile on your face for the rest of the day.

  13. Reading this, my mind went, “Rassa frassa forking cars rassa!”

    This nomination reminded me of drivers that are cans of can’t. Including the bibbing one and the one that ran me over.
    I want some sort of ray gun or remote control that I can point at the car, press the trigger or button and the car suddenly stops causing the driver to headbutt him or her self, or the car stops and falls to bits like the cars clowns have.
    Or powers like in the film Scanners, but that might be a bit gruesome.

    Not all drivers are c*nts, but for fork sake, those that are…grrrrrr it really cheese me right off.

    • Dont have much luck with motorists do you spoons?!
      Know your a big fan of the Batmobile, and i was thinking if you dont study the green cross code,
      The nearest youll get is hit an run by the caped crusader!!
      Robin “holy smoke Batman, you hit him! Pow!!
      Batman ” no witnesses Robin, back to the batcave, jeepers!!”

      • Just watching worlds strongest man,
        And whys most of the commentators ethnics?
        One the other day had hair just like sideshow Bob.

      • Evening Miserable. Your Batman skit reminded me of a short story I wrote for the Suffolk College “newsletter”.

        Batman’s Lament.

        The rosewood dining bat-table, at which Batman had previously been eating, suddenly disappeared behind a large batbush, along with his batchops , batcabbage and batdessert. When he returned from the bat-toilet with a nice clean batbottom his batsenses told him that the bat-table had gone. He thought carefully and at first thought that Superman was playing a super trick on him. But he soon remembered that Superman had absolutely no sense of humour and that it would have taken a right crafty cunt to have pulled off this caper. Leaving in the batmobile he drove directly to Gotham City Police HQ, reported the theft and returned to the batcave to sleep in the batbed.

        Next morning he was awoken by the batphone which he answered immediately after batbreakfast. It was Robin:

        “Hi Batman, I’m in jail for stealing the batstuff. I found it outside in the batgarden last night so I put it behind the batbush so no-one could see it.”
        “Batfuck off batcunt!” said Batman.

        He rang off, threw a batfit, recovered and died.

        © RTC 1971

        Naturally there were complaints from the college governing body.

        • Evening Rtc, they obviously had no sense of bat humour.
          Did you know Batman has a massive gay following? Read it somewhere,
          The dynamic between a buff, muscular billionaire wears his underwear over his pants and his much younger masked boy wonder.
          Im going to watch “the joker” later, Jack the cunter rated it, a pycho in makeup whos the nemesis of a gay couple!😳

          The Joker not Jack!!

          • It’s a good ‘un I thought mate, actually a proper grown-up film. Once Upon A Time In Hollywood was good too, at least old Quents doesn’t go in for that PC shite!!

          • Alrite Mate! Good Christmas?
            Yeah looking forward to it, heard off few people its good.
            Talking about range rovers above,
            Whats your take? Know your into your vehicles!

          • Aye not bad as they go MNC, been pretty much left well alone which suits me fine!! A time of year I traditionally struggle with I won’t lie…
            Have to agree with above that LRs are pretty much cuntmobiles of the highest order; seem to be the vehicle of choice of those that consider themselves a cut above the hoi polloi. That being said I like the original 70s/80s boxy jobs as they were built for a purpose and were good at it; nowadays they are just for Shaznay to show off outside the school gates and in Waitrose car park

          • Yeah loads of range rovers round here,
            New as well!
            Much prefer land rover defenders,
            But cant afford either right now!
            My mate got us a good deal on a ford Kuga, works at a ford dealership,
            And considered seeing about a ranger raptor on finance but mrs miserable would hit the bleeding roof!!😀

          • Yeah I do like those Raptors, always liked the Yank sledgehammer approach to car performance; “we’ve put a 7-litre truck engine in it like you said Tex, what about the chassis and brakes?” “Don’t bother with that European nancy-boy shit fellers, engine’ll do”

          • Yeah, there have been rumours about Batman and Robin since time immemorial. Doesn’t bother me none, it’s their life, long as they don’t rub it in my face.

            Look forward to seeing those two films when they come on the telly. I was somewhat of a Mansonite in the mid ’70s, met a few Family members when visiting the States in 1982, was quite into their philosophy at the time…

          • Yeah? No joke?
            Read loads about the case, was a music doc on few month back about the whisky a go go, an the bands that played there, the owner was a tough businessman, an some hippy was freaking out the waitresses, the owner threw the guy out= Charlie manson.

          • Reminds me of an old joke.

            If the answer is cock robin, what’s the question?

            What’s this up my arse, Batman?

          • Dapper fellow was Charlie, takes some guts to pull off the old Swastika on the forehead!

  14. These lazy driven to school arseholes are the same cunts who bunk off school on a Friday to protest about the “boomers” destroying the planet and “stealing our childhood, how dare you?” The same ignorant, self entitled greedy bastards who have no idea what a litter bin is for.
    The “do as I say, not as I do, I know better” brigade are getting younger by the day.
    Fuck them all to hell.

    • Its only nowadays that adults are soppy enough to listen to Greta.
      If it was 70s, an she had refused to go school and said how “dare you ? And your smoking too! Monster!”
      The mums n dads i knew would of got repetitive strain belting some sense into her.
      Take it in shifts.

      • And then said, “stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry for.”

        I, too, got a good Northern upbringing. Frost on t’inside of the windows, walk to school and eat what you were given. And, of course, an outdoor loo. Not kidding!

        • Still a few outside loos round here, but mostly now storage sheds.
          My Gran had a outside an inside loo,
          Mostly my grandad who used it when gardening, or seeing to pidgeons,
          Or me when id stood still to long and got conscripted to help!

        • An outside bog? You lucky bastard. We would have killed for that. We had to shit in fathers hat and play w’t steam.

  15. When I read the title of this nomination, I imagined a nanny driving her two charges, Tarquin and Tabitha to school.
    “Children, remember, during school luncheon start with the cutlery from the outside or Mr Spooning will rap you on the knuckles, and there’ll be no tuck shop for you either. Your parents insisted I impress that upon you.”

  16. One of the best days I’ve EVER had at work was having to stop the truck in the middle of the road as I couldn’t get near the address of the emergency because of entitled cunts parking as close to the school as possible so their offspring wouldn’t have to walk the length of the vehicle. Blocked the fucking lot of them in for an hour and a half whilst we treated the patient and then got the fire brigade to help extricate the fat cunt! Oh, the protestations!! ‘I’ll call the police’ was the cry of the orange-faced bitches!! ‘Here, use my ‘phone’ was my reply!! Police turned up and told them to wind their necks in as ‘They’re doing their jobs so just be thankful it’s not you or one of your relatives they’re helping’. A moment I’ll take to my grave with a smile on my face.

    • Hey Gene, dunno if its true, you might,
      But sure emergency vehicles can push other vehicles out of the way when responding to a emergency?
      Ie- firetruck going fire, shunts car out of the way?

      • It’s an urban myth. If we hit another vehicle, we have to radio control and stop. Fire crews can ‘bump’ vehicles out of the way, but, hitting deliberately is a big ‘No’. Don’t know about The Feds. I’d imagine it’s the same. Paperwork’s hideous and I can’t be arsed to have a re-test at driving school.

        • Shame, hoping it was true.
          Should be shouldn’t it?
          Parked like a twat got everything they deserved? Oh well….

        • It’s good news DCI that you’ll no longer be charged for parking your big green machine in hospital grounds. Should help by not having to carry all that loose change around!
          😀

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