Led Zeppelin

Led Zeppelin are cunts…

Nothing to do with their music. They were a great band most of the time, but the way the music media and their touchy as fuck fans canonise them as people takes the piss. Whenever Page is interviewed he is never asked about Aleister Crowley or Lori Mattix. Cunts like MOJO and Uncu(n)t just go on about how great he was. Then there’s the fanbase. Every time a book or article about the band comes out with something they don’t like in it, there’s endless whining about ‘distortion’ and inaccuracy’. It’s common knowledge that the likes of Page, Bonham, Grant, Cole and Bindon were authentic, deluxe cunts, Plant and Jones being the only two half decent blokes in the Zeppelin circus…but most of their fans are grovelling apologists who say crap like ‘It was a different time’ and ‘Bonzo was a thug because of the drink’. And the way they try to explain Oakland away is hilarious.

A great band as musicians, but come off it, they were cunts.

Nominated by Norman

76 thoughts on “Led Zeppelin

  1. I was a huge fan when a was a young kid, I was a Zeppelin fanatic from 12 to 18 yrs but the more I get older the more I drift away from them and criticize them an their music. Some of its really good psychical graffiti is probably my favourite from them but most of there catalogue is hit or miss shite. Rolling stone and Nme lionized them as classic rock an overshadowed alot of other great British rock bands but whateves thats the way the cookie crumbles good cunting norm

  2. Having my first beer in two months ffs! I can’t believe its been that long. I’ve been busy ever since I moved from the country back to the city thats part of the reason i haven’t posted much lots of unpacking and other unrelated stress. Finally get some ale in me and what better way then to eulogize, celebrate and mourn a great drummer enjoy cunters cheers https://youtu.be/cqkeucohRaA

      • Thanks Dick good to be back, good morning btw i’m on my 2nd beer right now an i’m pouring a double shot of rye cheers m8

  3. As you say,Plant cant be all bad because he is,apparently,locked in a long-running dispute with that Fat Fruit,Robbie Williams who is his neighbour.

    Sink the Cunt,Mr.Plant….bury him and his dreadful music.

    • I think you’ll find that is Page, not Plant, Mr F.

      Page and Williams. Good cunts and good neighbours.

      • Oh well, as long as someone sinks Williams…could be Michael Barrymore for all I care,just as long as they get the job done.

          • My favourite all time band Zeppelin followed by the Who.
            Only thing i can think of in way of criticism is “d yer make her?’
            Cod reggae shit that should of been binned.
            Bar that what a fucking band,
            Ramble on.

          • And talking of the Who……has anyone heard the two new songs on YouTube? Fabulous stuff – best new material for well nigh 40 years.

          • Scared to Isaac, like to remember them at their peak with the OX and Moonie!
            Worried in case its shite and will depress me if it is

          • D’yer Mak’er? I like that track. Great drums!

            Not a fan of reggae otherwise, haha.

          • Morning Mr F. At least the rain has held off for now.

            Lucky you its monsoon season here.

          • The new Who tracks are well worth a hearing. Daltrey now does swamp blues, too…thanks for the pointer, Isaac.

        • The only thing Barrymore would like to sink is his pink torpedo in Williams’ poopshute.

      • just laughing to myself imagine having (the fat bloke from Stoke) Robbie Williams living next door to you what a cunt

  4. That skinny loser on the far right looks like he’s being sucked into the engine…shame he wasn’t.

      • Celebs, rock stars, jocks, comedians…they are all equally worthless to me and I couldn’t give a cold dead rats ass about any of them.

  5. LZ LPs and 12 inchers got played a lot by cunts in the common room during my 6th form years in the early 80s. They would orgasm over StH, WLL or Black Dog; or playing Vol 4 in full over and over again. And nothing bad could be said about Saint Page of Cunt or Saint Bonham of Arseholes.

    But then some better informed cunts in the common room (myself included) would put on some Black Sabbath, Rainbow, Deep Purple, AC/DC while the LZ twats would shuffle off to their double-French or double-Wanker lessons.

    I didn’t give a fuck about them or their music back then (although Kashmir isn’t too bad when the mood takes me); and I barely give two fucks today.

    Whole Lotta Shite!

    • Purple were great and Free were also an excellent band… As good as Bonham was (as a drummer) I do think he’s overrated… Ian Paice, Carmine Appice, Bill Ward and Carl Palmer were just as good… And the late Ginger Baker was even better…

      • Agreed, Norm. We also got to listen to some way-out bands on the common room like Uriah Heep, Yes, Asia, Boston – some really great sounds that I often thought were far more interesting than Zep’s output.

    • Great to be reminded about LZ4.

      Funnily enough it took me 40 years to overlook the obvious ‘hits’ and fully appreciate the brilliance of GTC. Page often insisted they were a folk band at heart and this proves it.

      In complete contrast it’s followed by WTLB which is just about the most inspired track ordering ever put on vinyl. Ginger Baker may be a more than decent drummer in the Buddy Rich fast hands mode but he never got his drum kit to kick arse quite like Bonzo did on this track.

  6. The underage thing is well seedy… Women- real women – must have been on tap for Page… So why the taste for 14 year old jailbait? His occult bollocks brought nothing but trouble to the band too… Not that any of it was true, it’s a load of crap… But when Plant was in a bad car crash and then his son tragically passed away, the last thing he needed was the press going on about a ‘curse’ and that was down to Page’s unhealthy fetish for all that shit… Peter Grant admittedly helped the band immensely, but then he was a liability… Hiring Bindon was the first step in the band’s demise and Grant was to blame for that… As for ‘Ricardo’? Probably the biggest cunt of the lot… Like some Nazi underling… Reveling in his ‘status’ and abusing it (and everyone else) every step of the way…. But -like the krauts – Cole will now say he was only obeying orders….

    Great band, mind… A busted flush after Presence though… In Through The Out Door was shite…

    • Re: Page’s occult bollocks.

      As an innocent 18 year old I remember being mucho puzzled as to why “Do what thou wilt” and “So mote it be” were etched on the runouts of Led Zeppelin III.

      49 years later, thanks to your nom Norman, it finally makes sense.

      • ‘Do what thou wilt is the whole of the law’
        Dear old uncle Aleistet Crowley!
        Spooningtons turning into him,
        ‘Wickedest man in the world’
        ‘The great beast’
        More bands should have occult connections in my opinion,
        Sclub7 ‘black mass orgy’?

        • Crowley an interesting eccentric.

          Made a decent attempt to climb Everest several years before the successful John Hunt 1953 expedition.

        • I’ve always thought of Spoonington as being a bit like Cleggy out of Last of the Summer Wine……..
          Now he’s turned into Frankie Boyle and Gordon Ramsay combined.

  7. Yo Cuntflap – how cüm you’re able to write “cümbucket” and not go into moderation? I’m jealous.

    • Cum? Cum cum wank cum using the cum as lube for a 2nd wank cum ? Alrighty then…

      yep that chucks it into moderation, oh and good morning all

    • Cuntflap,like myself,keeps his comments on the right side of decency. That is why we are never moderated. Only naughty people get moderated.


      • I didn’t get where I am today by staying on the right side of decency!

        Morning Dick. 😀

  8. Psychical graffiti is a great fucking album but Sick again, night flight, Kashmir, houses of the holy, in the light and down by the seaside are the highlights imo Zepp at their best basically without the usual baby baby love song lyrics from plant

      • I know Norm, chicken george nicked my ginger the sneaky bastard after 3 long years of deadpools noms, oh well its fine thats the way she goes my friend its no big deal seriously

  9. They were atrocious at Live Aid…. Page was pissed and out of tune and Plant was knackered… And that ridiculous two drummers thing… A total joke…. They blamed Phil Collins, but they were absolute shit….

    John Paul Jones, the most talented and the least cuntish of the band, was also treated like crap by Page and Plant… Mind you, at least Jones can say he had nothing to do with the diabolically shite ‘Unledded’ reunion/cash in of the 90s…. He was well out of that…

  10. Greatest band ever, don’t really care if they were cunts as people. The music speaks for itself.

    Most people who chase fame are cunts, scratch that most people are cunts, including me at times.

    I can put some zep on and forget humanity is a cunt for a bit.

    Of course we all got different tastes and personally if ABBA give you the same release from reality zep give me, fair play.

    ABBA are cunts.

    • With you all the way blackdog, sorry sixdog!
      Love Zeppelin couldnt care less if they were cunts, sometimes go see a tribute band, Lets Zep!
      😁 pretty good!

      • It’s not so much that Zep were cunts, but their fans are the touchiest fuckers on the planet… They kick off and scream when books like Hammer Of The Gods or the Richard Cole book come out… Most Stones fans know and admit that Mick is a cunt, Keef is a cunt, Brian was a cunt and so on… But the hysterics when any Zep dirt surfaces is pretty crazy… OK, they’re not as bad as Wacko Jacko or Rush fans, but you get the idea…

  11. Sorry, I cannot have the Zep cunted on these pages.
    sorry M/R its like Brexit they voted for it so you will have to live with it.

    • Fair enough, admin, I shall accept with good grace and move to the next nom.

      See, remoaners? 😉

  12. Morning, we swerve off topic.
    Belfast and Butler sinks were all the rage as planters some time ago, fucking heavy monstrosity’s that shit up your garden.
    Well mrs B bought two on facebook selling for £25 and I had to shift the cunts.
    Saturday night / sunday morning some fuck nicked them, it has to be an “Inside job” as they were in the shitty little tarmacked courtyard and the only people capable of shifting them live upstairs.
    In fact I spoke to them on Sunday about the disappearance of the sinks, and they hinted that they were valuable and there were some “right sorts about” I explained that it was the principle not the value and showed them a second hand add for another sink at £10.
    I think I saw a little part of them die as they realised that they had lugged those things up two flights of stairs for fuck all.
    Now I am going to make something nice and nick able to put in the courtyard to add to their collection, something that I might of perhaps modified to be rather unpleasant if moved.

  13. Fortunately I was just too young to avoid the Zeppelin bandwagon and therefore – outside of Stairway to Heaven and Whole Lotta Love – I know absolutely fuck all about them.

    The number of twats younger than myself who adorate Zeppelin is unreal and even they have the cheek to chups me when I say I know fuck all about them.

    Zeppelin may be cunts but that’s more than equalled by their fans!


  14. I loved the first 3 Led Zeppelin albums but after that they seem to struggle to make a decent one.

      • ‘I would just like to point out that there is no stairway’.

        There is in ‘A Matter of Life and Death.’ The tear on the rose that June sheds is brought up the heavenly stairway to the heavenly court as evidence that Love is stronger than Death.

  15. Physical Graffiti is a nice drop of music I must say.
    Didn’t they used to line up whores and bend them over a settee or something?
    A very complicated business I must say.

  16. What usually happens is a band makes one great album then are unable to maintain that level and release album after album full of instantly forgettable dross. Oh and ABBA were more talented than LZ

    • They’re certainly more innovative than anyone in music history at wringing every last cent out of a decades-old back catalogue.

      As rock musicals are all the rage these days I am looking forward to a Zep one.

      David St Hubbins and Nigel Tufnell are shoo-ins for the two lead roles

      • Now you are referring to a brace of visionaries St Hubbins and Tufnel, aka Fire and Ice; comparable to Byron or Shelley.

  17. they weren’t as great as all their fans say they were.

    Their fans are a bunch of fucking cry babies if you ever dare to not be a worshipper at the temple of zeppelin.

  18. Well I have just turned the speakers up to maximum and listened to When The Levee Breaks in all its majestic glory on my original vinyl copy of Four Symbols. And it still sounds as fucking epic now as it did when I first heard it aged 11 in 1971.

    So you can fucking stick this nomination.

    And my neighbours can fuck off too, the miserable gets.

  19. Thats settled then Zeppelin, greatest band ever, unquestionable really,anyone saying otherwise?
    Hope you fuckin choke on yer soymilk!

  20. Page has always had a thing for young girls it’s well known and common knowledge, I’m surprised that he not been arrested yet
    Take a look at his new girl ,there is photo of them out shopping looks like a dodery OAP out with his carer
    But saying that they were are still the best band I’ve ever seen play

  21. It’s funny but on the only occasion I ever saw LZ they were, to put it kindly, pretty poor. I was very disappointed to be honest.

    • When and where Ron? Earls Court? Knebworth?

      Surprises me that but I never saw them myself to form my own opinion. The SRTS Live album wasn’t great and even Page admitted that only two of them were any good on it.

      The game was up after Physical Graffiti. The Coverdale/Page album was bleedin good though even if DC was trying to be Robert Plant.

      • Blimey Isaac now you’re asking mate. Can’t remember exactly cos it’s so long ago but it was at the Odeon in Brum and it was coming up to Xmas time. Early 70s.
        Actually when I say they were ‘pretty poor’ that’s not strictly accurate; what I mean is that I remember being frustrated by the fact that they were something like an hour late in starting, and that there were persistent sound problems with some of the instruments.
        I was expecting to be blown away and came away disappointed. It’s a heck of a long time ago now though, and it may well be that my mind is emphasising the negatives.

        • How The West Was Won is a good live Zeppelin album…. I liked Coverdale Page better than the ‘Unledded’ MTV thing Jimmy and Robert did….

        • Cheers Ron. Small venue like Brum Odeon would indicate very early days. Almost a home town gig for Plant though.

          There’s probably a Zep fansite that lists every date they ever played. My first definite memory of a location was when they unveiled LZ4 and wheeled out guest Sandy Denny to duet Battle of Evermore at Wembley Arena.
          Bad sound plagued many many gigs in those days and especially because band members constantly over-volumed stuff up to 11.

        • And late running was also common.

          Best personal example of that was Knebworth 1976. Drought Summer and I must’ve sunk a dozen ciders so predictably I had a banging migraine by 6pm.

          Final gig of the classic 10CC lineup; Lynyrd Skynrd; possibly Gryphon (who I must’ve seen at every 70s outdoor gig opening proceedings at 1230!)

          Headliners the Stones came on around 11pm but I never saw them as I was sleeping things off in a hedge. Didn’t matter as I’d only attended mainly to see Rundgren.

  22. I know nothing about them as people but enjoy their music.
    A real casual cunt, me.

    • I try to be the same. If I like a band or some acting cunt, I go out of my way not to find out anything about them, as the will most likely be massive cunts, and that will sour the stuff they do. It’s difficult, but not impossible.

  23. I was reliably informed by the owner/friend of a particular london pub that one of Pages bastard lovechilds often comes in for a drink. Pagey is a bit of a shifty nonce it seems.

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