St Greta of Kuntberg

I see that Swedish ‘climate activist’ Greta Thunberg is making a fucking nuisance of herself again.

The precocious sixteen year old eco warrior is sailing the Atlantic to join environmental protesters in New York, and to take part in a summit at the useless talking shop that is the United Nations. She’s being accompanied by her dad Svante* and a cameraman.

The trip is being made on a sixty foot yacht, and naturally it’s claimed that it will be ‘zero carbon’. Participants are eager to stress that this is no pleasure cruise. There isn’t a shower on board, so it’s all going to get a mite sweaty and smelly no doubt. There’s also no loo, so our intrepid voyagers will have to piss and shit into a bucket, the contents of which will presumably then be heaved overboard as raw sewage (nice), unless they’re planning to make a presentation to the UN as a token of their esteem.

Now maybe I’m cynical, maybe I’m just plain wrong, but I get the impression that young Greta is destined to go through life without ever having a proper job. I see her buzzing hither and thither, her life a whirl of conferences, media appearances, and carefully staged protests with virtue-signalling, gobshite celebrities there to get their pictures taken. No doubt too there’ll finger-wagging articles for the likes of The Grauniad, lecturing the rest of us on the damage that we’re all doing to Mother Earth. At some point there’ll be a ghosted biography (‘My Struggle’, now there’s a catchy title), and Hollywood will come calling (‘based on true events’). She’ll become famous for being famous, and if she plays her cards right, she’ll be on a nice little earner in the process.

All hail St Greta of Kuntberg, a right sanctimonious little know-all, if ever there was one.

* Swedish for ‘Cunt’

Nominated by Ron Knee

97 thoughts on “St Greta of Kuntberg

  1. Beyond satire. A spoon faced halfwit saving the world by a pointless and entirely hypocritical and impractical journey in a multi million £ boat. I shall be using my coracle to get to Fuerteventura for my hols. Virtuous as fuck. An example to us all.

  2. Precocious brat. Her dad should put her across his knee and give her a good spanking. I bet she was insufferable even when she was a toddler.

  3. I’m not surprised she is a product of modern Sweden. The country is so fucked up due to their “niceness” in allowing millions of fucking refugees into their country. This was a country famous for its steel and top quality cars, one of which is now gone and the other owned by the chinks. What has happened to Sweden will eventually happen to us in the UK. Fucking cunts.

  4. I wonder if she’ll make the return journey in the same fashion ?
    Assuming she gets there in the first place.
    Go on Davey Jones, you know you want to.

    • The fuck she will Jack. A nice warm cozy Jumbo Jet more like with shitter that flushes.

      • If that’s indeed the case FF, I hope the media’s all over it to show them up for the cunts they are.

    • One would hope she becomes the Kracken’s next meal, poetic justice. No eco SJW could justifiably moan about that.

    • Interestingly Unk, if they should get into any kind of trouble, they’ll decline any search and rescue attempts by non ‘carbon zero’ aircraft and ships!

  5. Not possible to manufacture a yacht without carbon emissions or the use of noxious chemicals. Also not possible to get such a craft from the factory to the water without a dirty diesel truck.
    Unless of course they’re in a hand carved canoe, which would require a fucking tree.
    Let’s hope they get caught in the gulfstream and finish up freezing to death in Antarctica.

    Fucking cunts.

    • Cuntflap you’ve hit the nail on the head, all eco warriors claim that they’re antics are zero carbon, but unless they walk everywhere, completely starkers, drink water from a stream and eat food that they’ve foraged, there is guaranteed to be some carbon creation somewhere along the line. Another case of, stop burning fossil fuels, unless I need them to make myself the centre of attention and then it doesn’t count.

  6. Silly little bitch, needs to get a paper round and get her lazy arse into school. I think you are right about her future career……..an endless round of media bullshit, books, articles, chat shows with puddle drinking morons hanging on her every word.
    Like Jamie cunting Oliver, a no talent cunt who was standing in the right place at the right time and filled a media niche. I hope her poxy boat gets turned over and the whole fucking lot of them get eaten by sharks. Fucking preachy little cow.

    • I hope the drippy, mouthy cunts run into a WWII mine. It’d be good for them to alter their carbon footprint over a square mile.

    • You orrible old bastards picking on a little girl!
      Ive personally offered to escort the kid for this reason,
      Sorry greta? Yes im following a sou’west by east the current will take us straight there!
      No im not going to hit that dolphin,
      No wasnt a crisp bag i threw overboard,
      This? Chum! Yes its food for hungry fish,
      Yes lotta fins in water, take a closer look!
      Majestic arent they?
      Now lets pop that lifevest off…..

  7. It’s just another case of ’15 minutes of fame’. Sooner or later, an even bigger cunt will come along and become the next media darling – then mongface Thunberg will be forgotten. We’ve seen it all before…

  8. Brat.

    I saw this child on the news yesterday evening, sitting on said yacht being interviewed. It was quite laughable. Now fair play that her English is better than most of the chavs here in Londonistan and for that I give her credit, but she could barely fucking answer a direct question.

    ‘What are you hoping that this trip will achieve and say to the world?’
    ‘Umm……..(long pause whilst brain struggles for a meaningful answer)….well, I hope that it will cause a discussion’

    It certainly did in our house, darling. My Mum’s ‘discussion’ with me being something along the lines of ‘Fuck that! A yacht without a toilet or washing facilities? You wouldn’t get me shitting in a bucket’.

    The trouble with precocious sprogs like this is that they truly believe that what they are doing will provoke change and will have some impact on the world. Maybe this is the naivety of youth and their lack of life experience talking, but frankly she is just plain fucking irritating to those of us cynical adults who know better.

    Sorry Greta, but you are.

  9. A petulant, precocious prig who should be playing with Playdoh but is instead hectoring adults about plastic. She should stick her My Little Pony down her juvenile cakehole.

  10. Obviously this child has been groomed by fanatic extremists. If she was so fervent about white supremacy or a fanatical convert to Islam people would be saying she needs counselling and the media would bestow victim status upon her.

    What’s the difference between that and her climate change campaign? She obviously encountered propaganda at a young age and she’s been groomed and brainwashed, now she’s used like a child prossie to push the agenda.

    Sixdog, saving the world, one cunt at a time.

    • Fuck me, are you immortal? It’d take 10 years just to deal with the cunts in the Cabinet.

  11. Horrible little cunt. In the mold of that other kid malala yousafzai- sadly a fraction away from having a head like a squashed melon. Went on to get her brood firmly planted in a nice gaff in the suburbs with jobs and benefits galore. Just waiting for a newly invented Nobel prize for “Climate alarmist prepubescent Swede on the spectrum”. Greta Thundercunt – a blueprint for 21st Century youth.

  12. World leaders listening to a spotty teenager who is not qualified and knows fuck all about the subject matter she talks badly about limited to the rubbish she has only read from the back of cereal packets and the propaganda given by so called climate change arseholes.

    Sums up the state of the world.

    • Exactly right Willie. The fucking stupid little shit hasn’t lived yet, she has zero life experience and yet older and more experienced adults are listening to her every word. It’s fucking madness. She needs a cock up her wrong ‘un, that’ll sort her out.

  13. The little darling isnt going to stop in NY, after she has soaked in all the media attention at the climate change conference she is off to travel down to the antarctic through south america with a film crew spreading the word of St Greta of Cuntberg as she goes.
    I am not saying she is being manipulated by the media but for fuck sake, its now getting beyond a joke.
    Fuck off and have nice crap in the sea, i just hope they have some real bad weather then she can experience climate change fisrt hand.

  14. AKA Super-mong
    AKA Cabbage Patch Autis-maton
    AKA the Child Prophet of all watermelons, glastonbury-worshippers, kumbaya libmongs and general invertebrates, remoaners and screeching SJW fuck-ups.

    Lily Allen, go home. The people have a new poster girl over whose every utterance they can clap and bark like demented seals, then take to Twitter to spew invective against anyone who compares paper straws to bog roll.

    ‘REEEE!’ Dont like paper straws? Thanks for DESTROYING THE PLANET, SHITLORD!!! RRREEEE!!’

    • When the electrician was at my house today, I was explaining to my 3 year old granddaughter the importance of electricity. I thought – here’s a chance to get in some counter propaganda before she’s indoctrinated by the libtards in school. I told her it was a very important part of civilisation unless she was part of Extinction Rebellion(she’s quite bright). I explained to her what an evil organisation it was and she must never ever join them or I would never buy her another Christmas or Birthday present. I think she’s now come round to my way of thinking.

  15. Fucking post has gone into moderation yet again. Perhaps I should have used the word ‘jism’ as opposed to the one that rhymes with plum.

    Bollocks.

  16. Grendel Thunderbarse bears an uncanny (and unfortunate) resemblance to my brother. Bastard cunt Swedish milkman.

    • She’s looking more like that other lunatic cunt Caroline Lucas.
      They both have the same Zippy mouths.

  17. Has it sunk yet?
    What’s the weather forecast?
    I shall make a sacrifice to Poseidon when I get in.

    • I hear that megamouthed cunt David Lammy is claiming to know somebody on board, in anticipation.

  18. I suppose St. Greta’s forthcoming adventure crossing the Atlantic in a $4m yacht made of carbon fibre and plastic, that’s owned and crewed by a member of the Monaco royal family, does not sound at all ironic or elitist.
    Maybe I’ve missed something, but I would have expected it to be in a longboat crewed by Vikings.
    As a child with ‘Apserger’s’, she’s easily being manipulated beyond the point of obvious farce by a third party agenda.
    It is they who are the real cunts.

  19. Greta Thunderbirds gives me the fucking Heebie jeebies, the little weirdo.

    There is another side to all this though. She is clearly being exploited by her parents and all the other climate loonies in the background.

  20. There’s just no real entertainment value though is there? All you get is Greta managing a cross-eyed stare at the imaginary window she was licking yesterday.
    Can’t they prop her next to a wildfire, or a tsunami, perhaps lower her into a volcano on a mission impossible trapeze, or drop her at the epicentre of an earthquake and then she could “report from the front line.”
    Getting whisked up into a tornado would be very entertaining indeed, as well as a very eco friendly way to travel.

  21. Personally I find everything about cuntberg intensely annoying and particularly dislike the media fawning over her, the droning dullard sounds like the chef from the muppet show and quite frankly the only place I would like to see her is Strapped on a rocket fired towards the sun ……

  22. “The common enemy of humanity is man.
    In searching for a new enemy to unite us, we came up
    with the idea that pollution, the threat of global warming,
    water shortages, famine and the like would fit the bill. All these
    dangers are caused by human intervention, and it is only through
    changed attitudes and behaviour that they can be overcome.
    The real enemy then, is humanity itself.”

    – Club of Rome

    The First Global Revolution

    green-agenda.com/globalrevolution.html

  23. Why the fuck do politicians stoop to rolling out the red carpet to these school brats? Don’t they realise that a swift “fuck off” would play better with the electorate instead of namby pamby cosying up?

    Same thing happened with that hectoring Malala child who queue-jumped into a place at virtue signalling Oxbridge Uni. At least that’s kept her relatively quiet but you can bet your bottom dollar she will emerge soon to lecture us all about where we’re going wrong and live out her days on QT and Newsnight in U.K.

  24. I hope it sinks in a location frequented by Great White sharks!

    Is that “waycist”?

    • Yes. You’re not allowed to use the words ‘great’ and ‘white’ in any conjunction whatsoever these days.

  25. I heard that St Greta’s yacht has been fitted with a diesel engine “only for emergencies”. Make of that what you will….

  26. Thunderbirds is being honoured at the GQ Man of the Year awards. They’ve created a special award for her…….Game Changer of the Year.
    After you with the sick bucket, then chuck it into the sea. 🤮

  27. No Moggie, I’m doing what politicians do, promising far more than I can deliver. I’m not of the liberal left persuasion either, so when I say saving one cunt at a time I actually mean for anyone outside of my direct family or hot women who can sign an NDA the chances of me saving anyone are almost non existent. Like another useless cunt I thought what I needed was a catchy pitch line.

    Sixdog, saving the world, one cunt at a time!

    Fuck the many save a few.

  28. This congenital retard gives me the creeps.
    The way she stares off into the distance, probably wondering where her missing chromosome went.
    And she looks like fire-damaged lego..

    • Indeed. That look which says ‘I’m contemplating, with concern and sorrow, the harm that lesser mortals are doing, and I’m about to offer a profound insight into the state of mankind…’. It was a look that found its way on to a few album covers from the likes of Rolls Royce radicals such as Baez and Dylan back in the 60s.

    • She’s looking straight into the camera. Or as straight as mongs can look.

  29. Why doesn’t she follow in the footsteps of that other Scandinavian cunt, Thor Heyerdahl. He crossed the Pacific in hand built balsawood raft.
    For some reason the idea never caught on.

  30. Sweden is in such a permanent state of pants shitting offence avoiding terror that know-it-all brats like this, who looks like Rain Man shagged Pippi Longstocking are being fawned over like never before.

  31. If I may correct a slight spelling error Ron – that should say all ‘heil’ St Greta of Kuntberg…

  32. This jumped up little shit makes me want to puke but not nearly as much as the fuckwits who seem to rally around her, desperate for a slice of positive, eco-bollocks PR! Is there not one person of standing on this more and more fucked up planet who will grab a news microphone and shout out what anyone with even a partially functioning brain thinks: “Fuck off back to school Greta you precocious little twat!!”

  33. This climate catastrophe demands a dramatic gesture- the yatch is set alight as they enter the harbour with Greta emerging onto the deck dressed as Brunhilde in animal skins golden helmet staring mute at the night sky arms raised as the flames slowly engulf her to the stains of Wagner.

    That’d get people’s attention.

  34. If she’s the only bird on the voyage she’s coming back with her arsehole resembling a blood orange. And yes, all these boats have diesel generators for backup…..backup my fucking ring piece!

    Fucking cunt hoop.

  35. I think her father should find out what Stephen Merchant was doing the night she was conceived.

  36. If she publishes a book called ‘My Struggle’, there’s only one title that can be chosen for the German edition. Then she’ll be forever known as a climate-change Nazi.

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