Ear Gauges


If you’ve never heard of the term you know what they look like. Hipster wannabe cunts mutilating their earlobes with more rings/discs inserted than one of Sting’s mates from the rainforest. Saw a cunt today with rings that big they could stand at a carnival and charge kids to lob ping pong balls through their ears.

I dearly look forward to seeing these cunts in 10-20 years with their sagging skin crying into their hemp handkerchiefs about how they’ve completely fucked up their head.

Bonus points if they have a shit tattoo relating to pop culture that nobody will fucking care about or know in 5 years.

nominated by LazyBiscuits

32 thoughts on “Ear Gauges

  1. The creep in the first photo has obviously had it done so he can have aural sex with his boyfriend.

    • Aghhh! Can’t get the vision out of my head of his boyfriend piercing his ring. Still, I suppose it could be described as safe sex and brings a whole new meaning to the term ‘dickhead.’

  2. The mutilation aspect of ancient and undeveloped cultures are there to show rank within their tribe, record acts of bravery (or rights of passage) and to deter enemies. I.e. there is a legitimate reason for it within those cultures.

    Soy, neck-beard, cucks do it to compensate for a lack of testosterone, prove their individuality (even though they all have them – the irony) and to hopefully look “edgy” enough when attempting to tap off with the low hanging fruit females who look like Bella Emberg’s uglier younger sister and make Two Tonne Tess look like Twiggy!

    Cunts to a one!

    “Oh yah, I need my safe space, yah!”

    “It that the space where your lug should be, you CUNT!”


  3. Cunt – Handles.

    One wrong word from the Cunt and just stick your finger through the hole and pull. He won’t be long of agreeing with your point of view…dangly piercings also serve the same purpose.

    Fuck them.

    • Yes the blue-haired feminazis who have the chain from a ring in their nose to a ring in their ear always remind me of the emergency pull on InterCity trains.

      Very handy if they choose to kick off with a normal lady in a scrap. Very easy to derail the cunt using that tactic!

    • The way to deal with piercings is to simply grip the object with large pliers and remove with a firm yank

  4. For some of these cunts they look like they’re going to a Halloween Party every night of the year. Fucking wankers.

    • In the 80’s there was bloke (20’s) who used to go in my Dad’s local who had a (mild by today’s standards) spider web tattoo up the side of his neck.

      One day he was cheesing off about having been to 20 interviews but not getting a sniff of a job offer.

      Without any malice, ire or sarcasm my Dad said: “Who’s going to employ YOU looking like THAT!”

      There was no comeback, just the resigned acceptance of fact.

      I wouldn’t employee one of these pin-cushion, loop eared, green/blue haired weirdos either!

      But then again, I’m not as tolerant as my Dad…

  5. It never ceases to amaze me what lengths these inadequate tosspots will go to for some attention. Tattoos, piercings and now this. When I was a lad we did it with ridiculous clothes and hairstyles. I don’t know, the youth of today (closes eyes and shakes head).

  6. There’s a cunt who goes in my local shop with holes so big his ear lobes rest on his shoulders. I’ll go round the shop again just to avoid having to stand behind him in the queue.
    Ear lobe cunts are worse than those wankers who have their tounge’s split.
    Typical self mutilating cunts who need piercings and body “modifications” to make up for their severe lack of personality or ability to independently think.

  7. It’s almost certain that come 2030, a huge wave of these cunts, unemployable and mutilated beyond acceptible social norms, will begin a movement of victimhood against the barbaric piercers and tattoo parlours who held 100% responsiiblity for the victim’s actions.

    Your taxpayer money will be spent affording these scumcunts £thousands in compo, and just like the tarts who moaned when their Uzbekistani cut-price boob implants went wrong, state-funded class lawsuits will be abound; in addition to the NHS picking up the tab for the corrective surgeries.

    You mark my words. Tattoos and body mod scumcunts will collectively regret this repulsive fad.

  8. As far as I am concerned. Those who make themselves unemployable by their appearrance, should forfeit all rights to benefits. That also includes Cambridgeshire Constabulary.

  9. when I was in Nustar we would get hit with artillery on a regular basis, the livestock was free to roam.
    Any way there was pig that used to roam around the village, it had taken shrapnel through its back and had been given colostomy an endless sausage of shit would curl its way out of its back.
    I wonder when that becomes fashionable

  10. I asked a tattoo artist if he could do a tattoo of the most beautiful woman imaginable.

    He said “Where do you want it.?”

    “On the wife’s face”….

    • My wife just got a new tattoo..

      It’s of a sea shell and its at the top of her her inner thigh. If you put your ear up to it you can smell the ocean.

  11. Cant believe these haven’t already been cunted. They make me feel nauseous.

    Whenever I see someone with this hipster idiocy in their ear, it’s usually a strong indicator that you’re dealing with a right bellend.

  12. My cunty son.
    “Hi Dad” pause. “Er, I’ve got a tattoo”.
    “You fucking what?”
    “I’ve got a tattoo”
    “You will never get a good job. I never employed anyone whom I knew had a tattoo.”
    “A friend of mine has a tattoo and he has a good job.”
    “Where does he work?”
    “Jack Wills.”
    “Jack Wills?”
    “That’s your aspiration, Jack Wills?”
    “Well that’s fucking marvellous? How much was it?”
    “To hu fi”
    “You have to be shitting me”
    “But it’s on the top of my thigh. No one will ever see it.”
    “Oh, I see. That makes perfect sense. Spend two hundred and fifty fucking quid to get a tattoo no one will ever see. Do you see the slight flaw in your argument?”
    “I’m going to hand my cv in to Jack Wills.”

  13. This kind of thing I can understand in ancient Mayan culture, but these ginger hipster fucks look like an unfortunate tortured cunt in a castle dungeon. There’s nothing individual or expressive about it. It makes them look like a total flaccid cock in a bus shelter. As for blokes getting their cocks pierced…mother of fuck, just no. Leave well alone. Extreme piercings, whole body tattoos, split tongues like a lizard. Loving Christ in a cake shop it’s gone too far. They look like an extra from Apocalypto.

    I saw a fucking horrific video where someone had eyeball tattoos being done. That was gut-churning. Some pierced and bumped cunt, got the hypodermic out and injected this hipster cunt’s eyeballs with ink until his whites went dark blue. I barely reached the end of the video as I was hunting around for my sick bucket.

    This whole body modification thing is a casket of cunt. “look at me, I’m a pioneer of alternative expression”. No…you’re a sap cunt with a brain disorder. They clearly strive to look like Seth Brundle from The Fly. Although one funny thing I did see, was one of these doss cunts with a reinforced hole in his earlobe, and someone had sneaked up behind him and put a great padlock through it and snapped it shut. The heavier the better.

    • Have a mate Barry he has some great tattoos all over but only one theme horror characters all the greats of horrors past.

      All done by one tattoo artist and planned and beautifully blended together over many years .

      He also had his cock pierced and one at while hammering it to the lady of the manor he felt a sharp ping and rip.
      He had torn the piercing clean out and ended up spraying blood everywhere. Almost died from blood lose.

      Never got anymore piercings after that don’t blame him really.

  14. Surprised they’re still current. A kid round my way of maybe 16 (then) bought this deformity about 7 years ago, looked like a complete bender with the plugs in and like the victim of an armed earwax thief with them out. I imagine his mates were pissing themselves. Does this adornment go with the neckbeard and manbun brigade?

  15. A common trait with body mod cunts is that they really want to be interesting, but are the dullest, least interesting cunts you could encounter. So, they do all this crap in a vain attempt to at least appear interesting. Fuck them.

  16. Anyone who does this shit, is a galactic scale CUNT.
    These hipster vaunts all look the fucking same while loudly proclaiming how “individual” they are.

    Yeah right, “individuals” all looking like identical bellends.

    The now obligatory Wanker-Beard, “man-bun” topknot like a coiffed scrotum, plastered with “edgy” tattoos that cost a fortune, money that would go towards a substantial deposit on a fucking property.

    Then we have the fucking piercings to make up for their deficiency in the dick department, and the fact that the overdose of fair-trade soya lattes has put so much phytoestrogen into their soy-boy beta-male bodies, their balls have shrivelled to raisins.

    So many of these empty life ball-bags, have so little personality are pussy-whipped by their “empowered” partners and make up for it with said adornments, eyebrow piercings, “edgy,” snot-hanger-nose-ring, coat hanger ears to add to the out cuntification of their useless existences.

    Naturally they support Jezza despite the fact that the stupid cunts are the first gullible SJW fuckwits that the Momentum Brownshirts will come for, cos Soshulllism is for a fairer society, yeah, equally poor and equally FUCKED, except of course for the commissars. Shit for the many, not the few.

    You can gather that I SHIT on these palpably stupid, gullible, virtue-signalling, self-righteous, trendy CUNTS with their wood-burners and Pelotron online cuntritude fake bike.

    Amazing how many look like the bespectacled, moon faced cunt who bugged Boris and that other bespectacled moon faced cunt who chucked a milkshake I’ve Farage. Must be the soya…ALL OF THEM ARE CUNTS.


  17. Commendable cunting LB.
    Should have a cunting about those pricks that also brand and scarify themselves too.
    Regarding tattoos, the only people who should have them are soldiers and sailors who have earned that right and have actually done something worthwhile with their lives.
    The rest of them either neo-tribal, popularist, or 1990’s crusty cunts who can’t identify themselves with who they really are.
    Polynesians excepted of course.
    p.s. Saw some pensioner twat not long ago with a ‘Sex Pistols’ tattoo on his forearm.
    I fucking kid you not.

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