Insurance Companies

Insurance companies

What a bunch of grasping, greedy, unprincipled cunts.

The entire insurance “ industry” is based on the idea of charging huge sums of money to cover your risks and then find some “reason” not to pay out your claim.

The sickening legal requirement for drivers to be insured means that, whether you like it or not, you have to pay these utter cunts large premiums for the privilege of knowing that they will default on their spurious promises.

What a load of wank faced cunts. Where I come from, we call it theft. Motherfucking twats!

Nominated by Who put the cunt in Scunthorpe

36 thoughts on “Insurance Companies

  1. Morning chaps and Nurse Cunty.
    Agreed for the most part.
    However, sometimes they’re surprisingly uncunty. A stupid cow turned right in front of my motorbike a couple of years back and totalled both it and my shoulder.
    Both insurance companies were really helpful, hers in paying out for my bike, my injuries and time off work and mine for sorting me out with a nice replacement vehicle once I was sufficiently healed to operate it.
    But generally yes, they’re fucking disgraceful.
    And also, I don’t particularly have a problem with the automatic yearly attempts to fuck you over come renewal time. It’s just standard business practice.
    If you’re too stupid or lazy to find a better price, that’s your lookout.

  2. I don’t have any insurance of any kind.

    As Tony Hancock would say, “IT’S A RACKET!”

  3. And we’ve all had the experience of overinflated annual premium increases.

    That,as if by magic, are reduced back down to a more sensible level the moment you ring up to challenge them.

    Rapacious chancer cunts.

    • Morning Deploy.

      My mum was born & bred in Scunthorpe. My dad used to joke, “I took the cunt out of Scunthorpe.”

      To be fair, he was a bit of a cunt too.

  4. The reason why I pay for insurance these days is because of falling foul of cunts sporting PL, RO and BUL number plates (both commercial vehicles – especially HGVs – and private cars with steering wheels on the wrong side).

    In Lutonistab every other car has a foreign plate on it (invariably eastern bloc) and the majority of the rest are Parking Stanley minicabs – neither group of which fills you with confidence that you’d get paid from their side if they totalled your motor.

    More importantly it’s there to protect you if the shoe happened to be on the other foot.

    A lady at work had her car roll back less than 1ft in stationary traffic on a hill into a RO plate vehicle where the driver and his 3 big issue sellers got out – all rubbing their necks and crying in agony – demanding money there and then! Very fucking intimidating, to be frank, the cunts.

    Well she was no mug and photographed the “no damage” on either her nor their car. The exact position of what and where and then did a video around the beat-up MKIII 3 Series BMW.

    Needless to say, the claim put in by these parasites was for four lots of whiplash, physio and EVERY FUCKING PANEL ON THE CAR!?!

    The insurance company thew it out and said it had documentary evidence that the claim was invalid on all counts and that it had been privately witnessed by a 3rd party – so fuck off!

    The claimants solicitor – a Mr Khan (surprise, surprise) – *demanded* to know WHO this witness was and WHY the should be believed over and above his fine and upstanding clients!

    The insurance company sent Mr Khan the full statement from a D.C. Joe Bloggs (name changed o’course) who was parked behind the BMW and whose dash-cam had filmed the entire incident, including the BMW driver’s threating behaviour to the lady who was trying to do the correct thing.

    Needless to say, Mr Khan did not pursue his clients claim any further! Fucking scumbags!

    So insurance is a cunt and an enforced scam (through legal requirement to own such) but their cuntitude pales into insignificance when you look at the “Bloc”, “Stanley” and “Pikey” scum that are ever alert when it comes to taking decent and honest people for a ride for the most minor of incidents.


    • Great example rebel.
      I though the insurance companies just paid out to these cunts to avoid legal costs so good to see that they do stand up to these fucking freeloaders….
      And what the fuck is it with cunts called khan? Khunts….

      I remember when some uninsured cunt crashed into my work van when I was 19… an “ethnic” guy in Crystal palace just went straight through the roundabout and wiped me out. Cunt gave me false details and fucked off. A week later I started to get calls from other “ethnic” types telling me that I was injured and that I should go to the doctors… didn’t matter how many times I told them I was fine and went straight back to work on that very afternoon. “But you’re injured, if you go to the doctors and tell them we could get you a payout”.
      “I’m fine, fuck off”…

      • Good point Sausage…
        It’s these ambulance chasing, compo cunts that help push up the premiums….

    • Good afternoon Rebel.
      About six months ago a Polish Cunt driving a road sweeper managed to get his brush gear fouled up on the light cluster unit on my trailer.
      ‘ Is no damage ! Is no damage! ‘ he cried, with his eyeballs popping out as he strained to pull the galvanised unit straight. ‘ No fucking damage ? ‘ I shouted, ‘ So what the fuck are you doing ? ‘
      The fucker wouldn’t have it, so after taking photos I had a word on the blower with his boss, ( English bloke )
      He was very apologetic and we arrived at a mutually agreeable sum, which the firm duly paid .
      I straightened the unit out myself and pocketed the cash.
      These eastern Europeans are dodgy Cunts.
      Get to fuck.

    • A friend of the cuntess, ran into a peaceful last week after the dirty bastard pulled in front of her at a junction.
      Goes without saying that he wasn’t insured so he insisted on a cash settlement.
      ” Good luck getting that.” I thought.
      The only thing she did get from him was a demand for seven hundred quid, for the damage to HIS already banged up uninsured piece of shit.

  5. How to deal with these cunts.

    1. Never accept their quote. Comparison websites are your friend.
    2. When you phone to cancel, they will ask how much the best quote is. Always quote a lesser sum than your best quote but do not make it a round figure, try something slightly abstract including the pennies, but not much lower than your best online quote.
    3. When speaking to them, insist on rushing them as you have an urgent appointment and you do not believe they can come close. Rushing them means there is not enough time for the operator to seek higher approval so they revert to their screen and chance their arm.
    4. When you either cancel or accept their much revised quote, then put the phone down and mutter the word “cunts” with a smile on your face.
    5. If you accept the revised quote, do not consider any extras that are offered afterwards. Extras are simply expensive hand jobs, delivered by wankers.

  6. I have worked in insurance all my life ( without being too up my own arse — in the Industry as more than the smallest of cogs). Insurers can be wank spanners and can be very helpful/vital at times — it’s like many indeed all businesses. One huge point though is that the Insurance industry is a massive lobby and the Governemt ( who are cunts anyway) rarely stand up to them. Money talks — this is the same symbiotic relationship as with the EU and big business.

    It’s all about power folks and mans craze of needing dominion over others. Me I have modest desires and don’t give a crap about needing to control others unless they try to harm me or my family. This is why I hate the EU with a passion – the utter turd heads.

  7. Sorry off topic but … Glad to see the contact for a ferry service to the company with no ships has been cancelled….
    How do these cunts get power?
    Call me mad but I’d presume that having some ships would be the first thing that you’d check when awarding that kind of contract….
    Just shows how corrupt the system is I guess.
    What a bunch of cunts.

    Just out of curiosity, is it bad to still be drunk from last night at half 12 in the afternoon?
    Is it bad to be thinking about picking up where I left off?
    Fuck it.

    • The whole deal was in order to disguise the fact that an Irish shipping company (with ships) had conveniently, and without publicity, acquired a 60% controlling interest in Seaborne.
      Seaborne, had it got the contract, would then have been simply a UK-registered front for an EU company. The only alternative, there being nothing purely British available, would have been an undisguised EU-based company, or that is my reading. And with oh what mirth the Remoaners would have greeted that!

      Seaborne itself was incapable of delivering anything: the only sources of income I could reliably trace to any of its directors involved an outfit called ‘Access to Justice’ – a little less philanthropic than it sounds as it apparently just underwrites no-win-no-fee litigation by other parties. It isn’t connected to the shipping industry.

      • Interesting komodo…
        I did hear something about an oirish company but I didn’t look into it as I’m a fat lazy gammon cunt and I couldn’t be arsed.
        It’s a shame there’s no British alternative, so much for us bring a sea-faring race!

        • I am a skinny paranoid cunt, and if I see something interesting, I enjoy tracking it down. Each to their own, DtS.

          Given that Seaborne was formed nearly a year after the referendum, it’s entirely possible that rather than writing a contract to be put out to tender, the whole suspect deal was cooked up by HMG from the start. Note also that Arklow Shipping has a Netherlands office, and that in 1999, a Netherlands firm took an 18% holding in the company.

          Glad to see this fall apart, at some further cost to the credibility of politicians.

          • I salute your research efforts Komodo. You might be one of the very few outside of power who actually knows what the fuck is going on. Blair comes to mind. I wake in the middle of the night- Where is the fucker now? What is the cunt up to? Who is he meeting? I can always rely on your updates. Deploy wrote- ‘How do these cunts get power?’. Really it’s because most people don’t bother to do what you do. And monitor what is going on. I am reminded of The Man Who Knew Too Much by Chesterton. You’re not Horne Fisher who’s complicit in all the corruption in high places.You’re the reporter who sees it all, appalled; Harold March.

  8. Curiously quiet round where I live today. Eerily so. No tremors or shudders. No sound at all. They must have stopped fracking for the weekend.

    Mrs Plastic earlier something about Gemma being sent home for disrupting the other competitors.

  9. Insurance is a fucking con, how the fuck can you have such a spread of prices for the same thing.
    Car insurance, same cover, my quotes ranged fron just under 300 to almost 600

    The money guy Martin Lewis reckons you should get a renewal quote 1 month before it expires, get a much better price that waiting until a few days before.

  10. A few years back I had an accident in Doctors car park. I reversed into the side of a womans car I didnt see. Totally my fault. Im a bit old now so dont go fast at all. I reckon I was going at 3 mph. The bitch claimed £5k for whiplash. I was on to my insurance company pleading with them to deny the claim. They asked me if I dented the car and I said of course I fucking did, I reversed into her door. They said if its dented there is whiplash and they paid out.

  11. Interesting cunting. What many people overlook is insurance is a business and therefore it’s baked in that they should seek to make money. They’re not a charity after all. That said, I’ve always felt that insurance is mostly a waste of money UNLESS you make a claim. You’re not buying a good or a service as such, more peace of mind which is rather intangible and tricky to put a price on. Unless you’re an insurance company where you can put a hefty price on it. When was the last time you got a premium quote and said, “Wow, I can’t believe it’s that cheap!”. Try never.

    I have very limited experience of actually using my various insurances. The one time I did with my home insurance (ice dam caused water damage) I felt guilty for using it. In most cases you’re punished for using insurance because your premium goes up if you do. Unless you’re a cunt who keeps driving into other people’s cars, then I don’t see why something accidental should be held against you. Nothing much else works that way. Buy a loaf of bread on Monday for a couple of quid say (I have no idea how much bread is in the UK these days), then buy another one on Wednesday and the price has gone up for you because you bought one previously. Yeah, it doesn’t work that way.

    What pisses me off is having to have your car insurance premium inflated to cover incidents with under-insured and uninsured drivers. WTF? So I’m paying extra because some other cunt chooses to break the law. How lovely.

    The other side of the coin is the massive fraud which goes on against the insurance companies. Cunt A taps the bumper of cunt B’s car and cunt B sues for massive head trauma, whiplash injuries, sudden onset of migraines, inability to work so lost wages, emotional distress, etc etc etc. Insurance companies have to defend themselves against this bullshit every day of the week. It’s disgusting. People who try this scam should be shot, then tortured, then shot again.

  12. are there any companies out there that actually reduce your premium if you don’t make a claim? ‘i’ve never made a claim in 40 years motoring and yet the premiums go relentlessly up if one company decided to do that they could make a killing i reckon.

    • Hi R1. Not sure if this concept has made it over to the UK yet, but over here in Yankland they have a couple of schemes similar to the one you describe.

      First, there’s “vanishing deductible”. Deductible is Yankspeak for excess. Each renewal period you go claim free, your deductible goes down. Second, some insurance companies provide an electronic gizmo which plugs into your car’s OBD port. It monitors your driving habits and if the data shows you’re a good, safe and slow driver, the insurance company will give you discounts. I drive a Golf GTI so there’s fuck all chance of that working for me. I think I’m good, safe but definitely not slow. 🙂

    • I was banned once for being over the limit the following morning. When I got my licence back 12 months later my premium went down around 10%, go figure.

  13. I used to be insured with direct line, I had a jeep that was quite honestly falling apart.
    each time the MOT guy failed it the welder would come out, offending rusty tin removed structural steel inserted,
    I did inform my insurance company of all the modifications, Bumpers, under armor, box steel sills, ect ect.
    Amy way the day came when I managed to get my hands on a blitz build, (same vehicle different body) phoned them up and told them and they said that they did not insure modified vehicles!……
    Defacto I had been driving un insured for around 3 years, I was not impressed

  14. Most of these creep joints charge by the mile now. If you estimate your mileage they expect you to stick to it or call ’em up so they can bump up the premium and charge your card for any extra motoring!

    The cunts insure “the driver” not the vehicle, yet insist the insured mileage restriction applies to “the vehicle” no matter who drives it!

    Its like charging a punter a lady’s full day rate for a quick ride in a knocking shop.

    Profiteering cunts.. Guercha!

  15. These cunts are only interested in providing policies for people that are of no risk whatsoever.
    As a frequent traveller I requested insurance to cover me (together with my wife) for 2 weeks in Tenerife (don’t laugh but the Capital, Santa Cruz is really nice)
    Things went fine until I mentioned that 18 years ago I was prescribed an antidepressant…and was subsequently declined. I told the cunts that I wasn’t planning on running amok in the airport brandishing a machete nor was I intending to dive off the roof of the hotel with a daffodil stuck up my arse.
    More recently I was refused home insurance because according to their Postcode the property was defined as being a “flood risk” despite being built on the top of a hill!
    The company who should remain nameless but begins with the letters following “K” and “U” can fuck off.
    Within 15 minutes of being declined by this Cuntmany I obtained good quality cover from other sources. Hahahaha .

  16. I got a quote for a cruise and because I have high blood and cholesterol levels they wanted £569 for a 10 day cruise . So fuck that .

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