Taking The Piss

It seems that there are a lot of people about who are taking the piss. Literally. According to that fount of knowledge ‘The Remoaniad’, five thousand members of the group ‘Urine Therapy’ regularly bathe in, wash with, or drink their own piss.

This gives a whole new meaning to the expression ‘taking the waters’. Unsurprisingly, there’s absolutely no scientific evidence to support this ‘therapy’; it’s quackery pure and simple. I’m just surprised that given the number of mugs about, some enterprising soul hasn’t bottled his own waste and flogged it to punters as ‘Old Mother Hubbard’s Therapeutic Elixir’ or something. Cures worms, verrucas, piles and constipation. Ferment it, and you’ve got this year’s must try drink for wine pseuds to eulogise over; ‘Chateau Neuf de Gypsy’s Kiss’.

Now I’m the first to admit that I’ve necked some rough stuff over the years, assorted beverages that may, in colloquial terms, be likened to drinking piss. But there’s a line drawn in the sand which I reckon isn’t to be crossed. Unless, of course, some odd but brave soul will put his hand up to sampling some of the amber nectar, and is prepared to come on and share his experiences.

After all, it takes all sorts…

Nominated by Ron Knee

29 thoughts on “Taking The Piss

  1. Whoever started it must be laughing their nuts off… “I made all these stupid cunts drink their own piss…”
    That cunt is the king of trolls. I wish I’d thought of it.

    • Yeah, you’re a bit late to cash in on this one Mr Sausage:

      “Auto-urine therapy as a system of alternative medicine was popularized by British naturopath John W. Armstrong in early 20th century. Armstrong was inspired by his family’s practice of using urine to treat minor stings and toothaches, by a metaphorical reading of the Biblical Proverb 5:15 “Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well.”


      Nice Cunting Ron….

  2. Urine washes out bacteria, toxins and other substances the body doesn’t want hanging about.
    Why would you wanna put that back in your system..?

    My new age mate will only drink herbal pee…

    • Point of order, a healthy person’s urine is sterile. The bacteria etc take the alternative route out. I can see a market for diabetic piss, though, with vast potential for the craft pee-er brigade; it smells of fruit due to its ester content.

      “Hmmm. A daring little piss from the City Mall Ladies, (sniff) with a charming raspberry aroma (chug, spit), a hint of kidney on the palate, and a strong finish with deodorant, ammonia and horse. Though perhaps a little too sweet.”

      • Hopefully not ester Rantzid content…

        A propos other comments, I pray that Sourbry doesn’t turn up to PMQs in the buff. Although I suspect that Vince Cable sleeps in sheets soaked in his own wee.

  3. Think my mate drinks it.
    He must do, he’s always complaining that his pint tastes like it!

  4. There was a luvvie actress famous for it. Cant remember her name but bet she wasn’t popular for love scenes. Sarah somefucker?

    • If it was with Willa Holland, I might just be persuaded to participate in golden showers. As for drinking it, not a chance.

  5. Im not sure if I do drink piss Ron. My wifes tea making may well be a sample of hers ?

    • I’ve got to admit that this one beats me. Why the fuck anybody would want to drink piss is beyond me. I’m particularly curious to find out whether they just drink their own piss, or anybody else’s. Weird is what it is.

  6. Bear Grylls is drinking his piss all the time, the wally. Should have used his image for this cunting.

  7. I occasionally piss in an empty Lucozade bottle when we’re getting driven around on a pub-crawl and then chuck it out of the window when we overtake a cyclist or some walkers.

    I haven’t drunk my piss,but some of them will have.

    Fuck Off.

    • It used to be common practice for bored squaddies to piss in the windscreen washer bottles of their Land Rovers, point the washer jets sideways, and cruise certain streets in Belfast or Derry treating the locals to a free squirt of ‘Eau de Toilette’.

  8. Conjures up bad and very recent memories of the horrendous plonk we imbibed during our Christmas dinner last year.

    Fuckin’ ‘ell, we may as well have been drinking piss.

    I have wiped the name of the shite from my memory in case of PTSD, but suffice to say that if you run out of bog cleaner or need something to strip your emulsion, that’s your go-to stuff.

    I’ve got enough bloody gut and bowel issues without making them worse with a piss cocktail.


    • I enjoy a nice glass of Rioja, Nurse. Problem is, every time I open a bottle now, I look at it and it reminds me of these twats swilling piss. Hope i can get over the association in time!

  9. Half the country’s been duped in to drinking piss for the last 30 years in the form of Lager at 3 quid a pint!

    Maybe some beardy cunt down that London will take it one step further and start knocking up some authentic craft brewed piss at 9.50 a bottle..

  10. Fuck me, I would no more drink my own micturation, than I would attempt to wrestlle a meaty bone out of a Tibetan Mastiff’s jaws…

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