Phones on the bus

Something that gets me looking for a baseball bat is loud cunts on their phones on public transport. Usually a curry muncher or Peter Polskis wife. Fucking ranting without taking a breath. I start to shake with rage as all the remouners and PC cunts would have me strung up for being a raculist if I exercised my right of telling them to shut the fuck up. Fucking any buses going through lewishamstan are the worst. They are due a cunting in my book.

Nominated by Cuntancurous

Remember clearly some years ago a young man on our train from London Liverpool Street to Norwich playing loudly each of his quirky ringtones on his mobile phone.

After about 30 tunes, the passenger next to me stood up and kindly asked him to stop. He ignored him, and continued, still at full volume. The people in the carriage waited to see what would develop.

Within a couple of minutes another passenger (a large man) got up from his seat and walked over to the guy with the phone. Standing next to him very politely but with anger told the man with the mobile phone to turn it off or he would take it away from him.

I rather suspect he was deadly serious. So did the young man with the phone who promptly turned the phone off.

In Japan it is considered a violation of good etiquette to answer a cell phone in certain public places. On trains it is rude to answer or talk on mobile phones, with many people keep their phone in ‘manner mode’ (silent mode) in order to not bother others and to avoid embarrassment on trains.

Nominated by Willie Stroker

Used to commute to London back in the old days. Phones weren’t to numerous then, but one cunt used to get on every morning and spout his instructions to his PA and staff all the way to work. (We all sat in the same seats every day in those days!)

The old boy opposite him had enough one morning. He carefully folded his copy of the Times, got up and opened the window. He grabbed the phone from the cunt’s hand and threw it out the window, closed it, sat down again, unfolded his paper and went back to his crossword.

Not a fucking word was said. The cunt just sat there with his mouth open.

Sadly, these days he’d probably have been knifed…

Nominated by Dioclese

24 thoughts on “Phones on the bus

  1. I suggest you place some horribly unlistenable music on your mobile and play it at full volume when one of these spotty teenagers/arrogant businessmen/non-stop dooshka-dooshkaing Iron Curtains begin gibbering. After a look that says, “you rude, selfish bastard” and a theatrical huff, they usually move.

  2. I used to live in London enduring massive journies as my work was no reachable by train – I feel your pain. Fucking carpet pilots, flat-heads, spear chuckers and chicken children babbling incoherent shit like the clappers. Absolute inconsiderate, fucking bastards, the lot of ‘em. Cunts.

  3. A superb triple cunting that nails the hides of these cunts to the wall, sadly only figuratively.
    I was on the bus last week with some cunt giving it largely and loudly to some lackey for about 15 mins, about making arrangements for his flight to New fucking York for a meeting with ‘the other board members’. No sooner had he finished when the phone rang and he started up to some other cunt about the agenda, who’d be there etc ad nauseum. After about another 10 mins of this stuff a rather large gentleman got up, leaned into the cunt and said loudly ‘we’re not fucking interested mate!’. The cunt looked like he might shit himself and ended the call pronto. I think more people would do this if they weren’t worried about causing trouble, but as it is, the cunts just get away with it.
    Boy I wish I could get my hands on one of those ‘disrupters’ that you can buy in the Far East. Sadly their use is illegal in Britain I believe.

    • Buy a “disrupter” and use it…

      The advantage of it being foreign is that you could alays claim wayciiiism !

  4. In Cardiff, the fat old munters are the worst. Armfuls of pink, “designer” carrier-bags, indicating that they have spent vast sums of money on pointless scrat (ie scratter-tat), bargeing their way around, shovel-faced cuuuuunts looking down at theit mobiles, at the pavements.

    I remember my old history teacher telling us about Malthus.
    We need a plague of biblical proportions, one that would wipe out cuntitude.

  5. They come in two main flavours in our area on the buses. Either the would-be businessman talking like Alexandr the meerkat, or dreadful old hags, usually with their hair scraped back in ponytails who keep repeating parrot like “yeah”, “really?” “absolutely” “exactly” One TOWIE wanabee last week kept shrieking out “fuck me”. After the tenth time I just yelled out – not today, thank you. It got a laugh but the old trollop kept on yelling.

    I often wonder why frightfully busy *successful* businessmen don’t have cars if not chauffeurs?. I just hope the treacherous MPs who get slung out at thenext electio and go into commerce don’t start using the buses. Just imagine the noise the Soubry cunt would make.

  6. Absolutely behind this cunting. It’s not just buses or public transport in general. Literally anywhere and everywhere is someone’s fucking ‘phone box now. I was in the parking lift at work the other evening and some slag was yapping away on its ‘phone the entire time. FFS – don’t involve me in your fucking conversation, bitch!

    I have added to my pre-retirement bucket list the strong wish and desire to endure an entire meeting without some cunt’s ‘phone sounding off. What the fuck is wrong with people? Either don’t bring it or put it on silent or vibrate. Is that too fucking much to ask?

    It’s just ignorant, inconsiderate, lazy and cuntish to force other people to endure your ‘phone antics. Shit off and die – cunts one and all.

    • Last seen being driven by Khan senior, father of Londonistans Suckdick. Not many people know that, he doesn’t like to talk about it.

  7. Top cunting.

    This is a real irritation of mine, amongst the ever increasing number of others. As I get older, my tolerance level is greatly diminishing, but so are my inhibitions in telling the fuckers exactly what I think.

    I think the whole public transport thing is where mobile phone usage becomes so evidently intrusive. There is no thought for anyone else around them who have to sit and put up with their usually vacuous, pigshite babbling in very close quarters.

    I was travelling back from Hampstead after a 13 hour night shift many years ago. I was half asleep of course, then as we were literally approaching the station, this empty skulled cunt makes a totally pointless call – ‘Just letting you know I am minutes away….I am literally coming up to the station now’.

    What exactly was the point of that fucking call? By the time she had finally got off the phone she was fucking there anyway.

    Foreign cunts are also horrendous. They don’t talk into a phone, they fucking bellow with their megaphone pieholes and as my guru mother puts it, ‘Those pricks use about double the number of words per sentence as we do.’

    The other thing i resent is having to hear some yoof hoody’s ear bleeder music blaring out of their phone on a bus/train. What makes them think that I or anyone else want to listen to that utter shite?

    There is just no social awareness or decorum anymore. Mobile phones have made life much more hellish than it needs to be, rather than being a covenient technological thing just used for the purpose it was built for. Far from enhancing communication, mobile phones are rapidly making communication skills EXTINCT, as every fucker under the sun just sits there with their earphones in them or with their fingers glued to the fucker playing some Tetris shite or suchlike. As for teenagers, I ms convinced that all of those cum dribbles are having their pea brains sucked out of their earholes by their phone usage. God help us in our dotage with that shower of numbskulls running the cuntry.

    CUNTS.

  8. Only been on a bus once in the last 10 years. Went to Colchester Zoo with my son when the wife had the car. A painful experience having to share with old and smelly or young and noisy people.

    Remember vividly an ignorant thick Eastern European wanker arguing with the driver and refusing to get off when the driver told him to when he clearly did not understand the concept of having to pay to travel.

    Delayed us for at least 5 minutes.

    Fucking cunt. Get us out of Europe FFS.

    • Even though we live on the same continent some of these Iron Curtain wankers take the piss with how backward they can be, although he was probably more used to hitching a lift on the back of a turnip cart pulled by donkey by a toothless Olaf on his way to market.

    • Travelling by bus in Brighton Willie is an awful experience. Fucking Chavs from the Whitehawk estate, old ladies stinking of piss and Polak Pietr and Bozena with their 5 kids in tow.

      • Regarding Japanese trains Willie, I remember on the trains in Tokyo where recorded announcements are made in Japanese and English, one such asked passengers to refrain from using their phones ‘as it might annoy the neighbours’. That made me smile. And everyone complied.

        Have you noticed that it’s always the cunt on your bus or train who’d doing all the talking? It’s never the cunt on the other end of the line.

  9. Top cunting.
    This is a real irritation of mine, amongst the ever increasing number of others. As I get older, my tolerance level is greatly diminishing, but so are my inhibitions in telling the fuckers exactly what I think.

    I think the whole public transport thing is where mobile phone usage becomes so evidently intrusive. There is no thought for anyone else around them who have to sit and put up with their usually vacuous, pigshite babbling in very close quarters.

    I was travelling back from Hampstead after a 13 hour night shift many years ago. I was half asleep of course, then as we were literally approaching the station, this empty skulled cunt makes a totally pointless call – ‘Just letting you know I am minutes away….I am literally coming up to the station now’.

    What exactly was the point of that fucking call? By the time she had finally got off the phone she was fucking there anyway.

    Foreign cunts are also horrendous. They don’t talk into a phone, they fucking bellow with their megaphone pieholes and as my guru mother puts it, ‘Those pricks use about double the number of words per sentence as we do.’

    The other thing i resent is having to hear some yoof hoody’s ear bleeder music blaring out of their phone on a bus/train. What makes them think that I or anyone else want to listen to that utter shite?

    There is just no social awareness or decorum anymore. Mobile phones have made life much more hellish than it needs to be, rather than being a covenient technological thing just used for the purpose it was built for. Far from enhancing communication, mobile phones are rapidly making communication skills EXTINCT, as every fucker under the sun just sits there with their earphones in them or with their fingers glued to the fucker playing some Tetris shite or suchlike. As for teenagers, I ms convinced that all of those cum dribbles are having their pea brains sucked out of their earholes by their phone usage. God help us in our dotage with that shower of numbskulls running the cuntry.

    CUNTS.

    • A yapping Africunt, usually the women, towering fruit bowel or rainbow beanbag ensemble on their heads is guaranteed to age me thirty odd years and bring out the Victor Meldrew on acid.

    • Oh hairy bollocks. Sorry about the double post. I thought the first didn’t go through so posted again.

      Silly cunt.

  10. I’ve seen them Liberal. Those Afro bints with there enormous fat arses and phones the size of a tv flat screen are the worse for shouting down their phones.

  11. The advent of Skype type calls (facetime?) has enabled people to take this cuntishness to a higher level. Instead of talking into the “receiver” they are now talking at their phones.

    I used to travel in Virgin 1st class quiet frequently. I would be bluntly rude to any cunt breaking the convention. Thank fuck the demise of the quiet coach coincided with my move to the Highlands.

  12. People use public transport because they have to not want to. So it shits me when others, especially FOBs don’t practice the minimum social graces.Sit down, shut up, don’t eyeball anyone else and don’t bring your smelly ethnic food that would kill a brown dog onboard. The same goes for youths scratching, tagging or chroming. Read a fucking book and learn something cunts.

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