People who hog gym equipment are cunts. Right now there’s some inconsiderate cunt hogging the main barbell area (where the deadlift and other such exercises are done) in the gym. He’s been there for over half an hour and seems to be spending most of that time on his phone with the occasional few reps thrown in in between. What an inconsiderate cunt.
Nominated by OpinionatedCunt
Hog away, you musclebound sweaty cunts! I shall be enjoying a long walk in the country if I am not doing pressups and curls in the course of helicoiling a stripped thread on the bike, or digging over the spring onion bed. You need not fear that I shall be anywhere near your expensive torture chamber!
10
Unless you feel the need to try to impress by having muscles of enormous proportions, there’s no need to spend money on gym fees. You can run, exercise and find heavy things to lift if you want, and it’ll cost you nothing. Gyms are for poseurs.
10
‘So* what qualifications can you bring to the job, Mr/Ms/Other Pecsnabs?”
” I’m really good at lifting heavy bits of iron.”
“Sorry, mate. We’ve already got a crane.”
*Mandatory when addressing millenials.
9
My advice…….buy your own barbells, build up your muscles and punch his cunting face in.
No need to thank me.
12
I was thinking exactly the same thing myself Freddie.
Or simply tell the cunt to get off his phone or hurry the fuck up as there are people waiting.
6
Yeah, you’re forgetting I’m too socially anxious a lot of the time to do that Willie.
4
Tell the Cunt to either “Shit or get off the pot”. If he still doesn’t move kick him in the nuts (which will probably be tiny due to steroid use)
P.S….Serves you right for going to a gym.
Fuck Off.
🙂 .
14
Or you could always try lifting a too heavy weight,shitting yourself and chuck that at him if you’re not one for the violent response. That should persuade him to move on.
7
If he’s an architect get a knife and stab the cunt. Nobody will give a fuck.
13
Even better, blame it on another architect, 2 birds, 1 stone and all that.
3
I can sympathise with that as a weekend gym warrior myself, gave up during the week because of my shift pattern and fucking snowflake pansies hogging the equipment, taking selfies and social media look at me pictures, however, to get them off the equipment I find that if I tell them, your not lifting right mate, thats a half squat, that’s the wrong way to bench, usually gets fucking rid of them sharpish,
Works for me,
Other wise tell them to fuck off
7
Ugh don’t get me started on the selfie whores.
4
I quit my gym this morning because one of the instructors started shouting at me, “C’mon man, you’ve got to want it! C’mon push, you can do it.”
I hate being disturbed when I’m having a dump.
19
I find if a fit woman is hogging the equipment,and I watch them / perve
bending over in that nearly there shorts and top, greatly reduces waiting time, does wonders for my pump
6
Only share equipment with a couple of false widows in the garage. It’s a literal freezer in winter but doesn’t smell perpetually like warm asshole though.
Fuck gyms. Bought a bench, squat rack, barbell and 200kg for 300. I would have spent several times that in gym fees by now.
5
If its that cheap then it’s worth considering. Although I’m not sure university accommodation would allow it.
4
I doubt they would, elf and safety. My last workplace had a gym but no free weights for that reason. You could still mash yourself up with machines if you were truely exceptional of course.
Floor strength could matter too. Dropping 400lbs on shitty uni floorboards might send you to the room below!
5
Considering how thin the walls are I don’t think the floors are likely to be much better.
0
Why would anyone in their right mind even contemplate going to a gym? Aren’t they all chock-a-block with cunts*? I wouldn’t have the time anyway… too busy keeping fit and endeavouring to have a life.
* OC excepted, despite being self proclaimed.
5
Honestly, I go because weightlifting does have benefits to it (plus buying your own barbells is bloody expensive) and it’s good for me from a mental standpoint. Oh, and I enjoy lifting heavy shit and eating a lot of food as well. 🙂
5
Fair do’s OC… suspect I’m only showing my age and prejudice. If it works for you, why not?
🙂
4
It’s a release of pent up aggression for me, otherwise there would be a mass cull of snowflakes and politicians,
Went the gym last week seen this wonderful arse in tight leggings blonde her, looked fit as fuck, it turned round, it had the face of a bloke,
Fucking heartbroken
That’s the second dodgy fucker I’ve seen this year
6
This sort of bird is known as butterface. As in “crackin arse, but her face….”
2
Trust you Cuntflap to undercut poor East European’s wages and work for free.
Dis-fucking-graceful! 😂
5
I agree with this. Never been fitter than when doing manual work all day. And my neighbour, keen on the booze, eats junk food, does a six (long) day week pouring concrete floors, never been near a gym, is built like a brick shithouse and I really wouldn’t want to annoy him. Also coining it. Construction can be very well paid if you’re into hard graft, so if you are, what the fuck are you doing in a gym?
10
And yet we pay MP’s more than binmen. A mad world, my masters.
5
Fuck Jim. I hate the mundane cunt.
2
Erm… What?
2
“American missionary, 27, is shot dead with arrows by protected tribe that he tried to convert to Christianity after landing on their remote Indian island – but they CAN’T be prosecuted for his murder
John Chau was killed as soon as he set foot on the remote North Sentinel Island
The island’s indigenous people live cut off completely from the outside world
Chau took a boat ride with local fishermen before venturing to the island alone
Contact with several tribes on Andaman islands in the Indian Ocean is illegal ”
Serves the Cunt right….it’s a shame that more people don’t adopt such a robust response to uninvited callers.If the first notes of “Good King Wenceslas” were greeted with a volley of poisoned arrows,carol singers may think twice before inflicting their happy, rosy-cheeked faces, grabby brats and outstretched,sponging hands on the general public.
The Cunts never come to my place,but I’ve started pissing in a bucket which I keep behind the door ready to chuck over them just in case….better safe than sorry.
10
I honestly don’t need to boil my piss to make it lethal, Mr. Cuntflap. When walking back from the pub I regularly used to stop and empty the tank on some trees that the incomers had planted in a “Community Orchard”…apples,plums etc….taken 3 years but I’ve killed every fucking one of them. Wouldn’t care but one of the hippy-type fuckers asked me,as they know that I used to do a lot of tree-planting for the Forestry Commission, what could have killed them…..told her that they’d been badly planted and they should have paid someone who knew what the fuck they were doing to do the job.
Luckily I have a thick hide and ignored the insinuation that my “comfort-stops” could have had any bearing on the problem.
2
If it’s herbicidal piss you want, try a German shepherd bitch. Absolutely lethal to anything green. Unfortunately although the coverage is better from a dog, only the bitch has the right chemistry.
(Proudly Contributing Trivia to ISAC since 1846)
4
Cheers Dick, that’s put a much needed spring in my step! Encouraging to read a good news story for a change.
3
Following in the proud tradition of St. Sebastian, then. Although the arrows didn’t kill the saint, it seems. (He was later clubbed to death for preaching at the Emperor Diocletian, stupid cunt)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Christians_martyred_during_the_reign_of_Diocletian
Hope they ate the cunt.
4
That’s the problem with gyms, you always get the ignorant fuckers who think they’re experts when it comes to weights, but actually don’t even know how to deadlift correctly. They never think about other gym users, never wipe down the benches they use, and ALWAYS leave the weights, dumbbells, etc all over the floor, instead of putting them on the racks where they belong. That’s why I gave up my gym membership and bought my own weights.
4
I encounter those types all the time myself. If it wasn’t for the fact I’m still at university I probably would buy my own weights.
2
There should be a sign up saying “if you’re strong enough to lift it up, you’re strong enough to put it back”!
2
I’ve avoided gyms for about 15 yrs now. It’s mainly tennis and running for me. I did kickboxing for a couple of years but had to stop because of a neck injury.
Gyms really are some of the most boring places I’ve ever been to. I mean who really likes bodybuilders? Talk about the zeros in life! What’s so special about them apart from the fact that they can just stand there lifting weights all day?! I’m all for having a good physique but not to the point of obsession like they do with the extreme dieting and constantly flexing to their friends and/or in front of a mirror. I mean, who actually cares?! Like I said, I’ve just never seen any skill in it all.
In a way bodybuilders are the male equivalents of fashion/catwalk models who are just far too skinny and don’t look as hot as they think they do.
4
My job had me bulked up and strong enough for most situations and i got well paid for it, feck the gym and all modern bollocks, if you worked harder you would be to fecked for the gym, long days and short nights for young men and young horses, that keeps the cunts in line.
5
Gyms are for cunts, get a job doing furniture removals, bulk up in no time!!
2
Sebastian in Brideshead. Saint Sebastion really-the search for sanctity-under the bed for Kurt’s cigarettes. ‘It’s my job’.
1
Sorry to the OC (original cunter) but I’m with the majority on this one. Gyms are for vain, vacuous, narcissistic cunts. That’s why the majority of them have lots of big glass fronts with the equipment facing them, so all the world can see how much better those chugging away are than us. Thanks but I’d rather not end up needing a knee replacement in my mid-40s.
Oh, and closeted muscle marys.
2
Us Miserable Old Gits are still alive and kicking WITHOUT all this fancy and expensive non-producing gym stuff, just regular exercise (I played rugby until I was 40, and my co-MOG was a Navy Captain), and now, in our advancing years, a good 5km walk EVERY day. Who gives a flying shit about ‘hogged’ gym equipment! Try our way, it’s cheaper and no-one can hog anything!
1
Aargh! Can’t keep up with the last few days. Can’t do a cunting of my own. Too many cunts and cunting things that get jumbled up! Love you all to bits.
Not like that – gerroff! Or I’ll sound like a Scouser..
1