Twats in sequined shirts and tackle nipping trousers twirling birds with sprayed on faces around a dancefloor, while a panel of d-listers and a clap at anything audience of sheeples look on. That’s ‘Strictly Cunts Prancing’ for you, and you’ll have seen it at some point. It’s another of those hopeless ‘talent’ fodder shows which infest weekend telly schedules, and I’ll occasionally look in on it as a comparable alternative to my regular Saturday night pastime of self-flagellation.
In all honestly I wouldn’t mind ‘SCP’ if it confined itself to the box. My problem with it is that it’s spread across the meeja like one of those nasty little rashes you’re stuck with but would rather not have. Most of the spiel comes not so much from the programme itself, but from the irritating antics of the wannabe and never-will-be cunts who take part. The meeja and the Twatterati have been in meltdown of late over the antics of 32-year-old Seann and 29-year-old Katya, who *gasp* were photographed snogging outside a pub. Seann’s girlfriend Rebecca publicly elbowed the lad, claiming that he referred to her as ‘psycho’ for suggesting that something untoward was going on. This blockbuster story continued when in a follow-up routine, Seann and Katya danced with a guitar between them, which led to fans claiming that *gulp* show bosses wanted to keep the pair apart during the routine. They subsequently finished in the bottom two, but *gasp* survived the dance-off. This led 29-year-old reject Vicky to *shock* hint at a ‘fix’ to keep the pair in as a ratings and publicity booster. Noooooo… Al-beebra would never indulge in such machinations, surely??
Now some might of course accuse me of hypocritically indulging a pathetic interest in these goings-on myself. In my defence, I’ll state that my fascination stems not so much from the ‘events’ themselves, but from genuine puzzlement as to how the whole vacuous shebang is able to exert such a hold on the interest of so many for so long. It’s not ‘fake news’ as such, more like ‘none news’, yet it’s lapped up. I just don’t get it, but it’ll no doubt run and run, even though it’s a bag o’ shite.
Rebecca Humphries is 32.
Nominated by Ron Knee
People watch this laughable, fake-on-every-level shit and believe it to be real.
Well, women and cissies watch. No real man would ever watch this dross.
Same goes for ‘I’m a Z-list Celebrity” and all the rest of them.
If people complain “there’s nothing else on”, there’s literally thousands of great movies you’ve yet to see if you would take but one step off the boring path trodden by millions of dullards.
Same goes for music.
Folk ought to try something left-field (but not left wing).
21
Social-meejah fodder.
Large amounts of “theatrical” make-up applied to old women of both sexes.
“Look at memememememe !!”
Technology has a lot to answer for, but it could of course help with mass executions. We need checks and balances.
I think Danny Dyer was on strictly cum dancing; he should be flogged to death with a changi cane, obnoxious, pointless, z-lister.
7
I would like to have been at that BBC meeting :
“Does anybody remember Come Dancing?”
“Yeah , that old shit…..used to be on late at night…..it was only watched by half a dozen old dears so we dumped it.”
“Let’s bring it back, primetime on a Saturday.”
“Fuck off you cunt, what have you been snorting this week?”
“No, i’ve got an idea to jazz it up and appeal to the dumbest cunts on the planet. They’ll fucking lap it up.”
“Impossible you cunt. Can we move on and discuss some intelligent programming.”
The rest, as they say, is history.
20
My wifes addictions to this shite drives me clinically insane. No fucking wonder , it is one of the biggest crock of faecal detritus on television. It should also be renamed the Euro Employment Service and is almost certainly a EU sponsored indoctrination programme.
13
Have they started whinging yet about the Boris’s and Natalia’s packing up their glittery G-strings and having to fuck off back east because of Brexit? We’ve had dogs, Mars Bars, passports so why not some prancing eurocunts?.
8
I’m actually paying good money to get Mrs. Boggs out of the house on Saturday nights so I don;t have to endure this shower of shit. I even pay for theatre tickets for her oldest but poorest friend to keep her company.
The original CD went out late on Monday nights with Peter West and Judith Chalmers who had a decent pair of knockers but didn’t insist on shoving her nipples in your face in thin silk, and at least the contestants were called Janice who was usually a hairdresser and sewed all her sequins on herself, and Bill who was a decent enough if henpecked bloke who worked in a car factory. Now it’s all whores and poofters wearing more make-up than Anthony Blair on the campaign trial.
It just proves how far the BBC has fallen into the shitter. I remember reading once that Fancy Nancy Mandelson had an ambition to appear on the show. I am sure he would have loved all the Max Factor and *spontaneous* applause, as much as the frilly knickers and all the cross dressing. That shows just what a wankfest that show is for queer exhibitionists. They should have paired him with fucking Mary Ann Andy Adonis – but which of the witless shit-smeared cunts would have played the man?
Sadly Mrs Boggs gets the last laugh, because like all the ITV *reality* shows it apes it has a spin off – a nightly load of camp gossip called fucking It Takes Two on BBC 2. BBC2 has fallen from the gutter int the sewer which is probably where they find the lazy bleeders tin the audience to clap every bit of worn out cunt on the show. Hell, even Bruce Forsythe died to get out of this everlasting hell the twisted fetish of the poofter BBC producers. I usually find 6.30 p.m. Monday to Friday and ideal time to take a shit.
2
This is why I don’t have a telly. I read a book, go on ISAC or listen to Radio 4 instead. Even R4 gets switched off these days because of BBC cuntery.
13
This pile of dross is actually taken “on tour”. Yes, they have a dancing competition every night, with a panel of judges and a winning sleb couple who no cunt has ever heard of.
People actually travel and pay money for this “entertainment.”
Fuck me!
We are doomed. Doomed I tell you. Dooooomed !
9
Claudia Winkelcunt
Fuck off.
Good morning.
12
Likewise, the horse-faced blonde bint that appears in the other shampoo ad.
“Strong is beautiful.” She hits the punchbag, and it doesn’t budge a feckin mil.
I believe she may even be an auto-tuned, talentless tosspot…
Sod her.
6
These programs are the comfort blankets of the age. Get involved with the trials and tribulations of some vacuous fuckwits and the troubles of the real World fade away. If all around you is turning to shite and those in charge are responsible for said shite, what can you do? If you have not been equipped to deal with such a nilist situation the easy answer is focus on the saga’s of bollocks dished up by the media. Meaning can be found in the antics of Tommy the sleb bidet assistant, one can marvel at the profound insights of Tau the transgender motivational cause assistant. Much easier than asking your MP what they are doing about grooming gangs, stabathons, immigration etc. Not that the cunt would listen anyway. Well I’m off to get the car MOT’D and one of the dog’s is demanding food.
10
Its pure bread and circuses to divert the masses from the betrayal of a nation.
Shallow celebs in their vacuous bubbles on a profile raising excercise,im sure these celebs loathe us plebs,they are hypnotised by fame,riches and popularity,its the same celebs on the same chat shows plugging more of the same circus at the same month of every year.
Thank fuck i can steal stuff off the internet.
Started watching The Deuce btw with James Franco,all about the start of the porn business in 1970,s New York,its pretty descent…..
13
Speaking of betrayal. I don’t know if you saw Barnier giving a speech the other day. It was obviously done to support the Maybot. He talked about the proposed agreement giving back control to the UK over borders etc.
If that speech wasn’t written in conjunction with Downing St. I’ll show me arse ( horrible ).
6
Good morning Smasher.
3
Thank fuck we’ll never have to see your arse Jack!
Good morning.
5
You’re dead right Mr. Creampuff.
Good morning.
2
Morning Jack😁
1
As usual cos it contains celebs ive never seen 1 second of what is obviously televisual shite, feck me i do miss out on some really mind numbing bollocks with my anti social hatred of modern entertainment, if indeed it can be called entertainment.
8
These type of shows never have a shelf life. The Voice, Pop Idol and X Factor are just shitty reincarnations of each other with the same desperate wannabees, pub singers and snowflakes with a suitable sob story. If by any miracle some talent is unearthed then its overshadowed by presenters and judges who think they ARE the show. Roll a turd in glitter and its still a turd, a third rate Butlins shit-fest.
6
As mentioned, what shits me to tears is the incessant adverts and cross promotion for these shite low cost programmes that I end up knowing far too much about despite never having watched them.
8
I don’t watch, or even notice, adverts nowadays so I’m spared that as well.
2
I’d find 2 bulldogs chewing wasps in unison far more alluring , attractive and entertaining than fucking Tess Daly and Claudia Winklecunt.Half a million quid of my cash for these pair.
6
I agree there is an awful lot of brain rotting shite on TV most of it involving celebs but there is also some absolutely brilliant stuff. My nomination for ‘programme of the year’ is ‘ They shall not grow old’. If you missed it, try and catch it on the i player. One shot of a young soldier sitting in a trench staring straight into the camera and about to go ‘ over the top’ will stay with me forever.
3
Even the wife won’t touch it… and she watches a disturbing amount of dross otherwise. But NEVER Come Prancing!
6
I agree there is a lot of shite on TV most of it involving ‘celebs’ but there is also some briiliant stuff. My nomination for ‘ programme of the year’ is ‘They shall not grow old’. If you missed it try and catch it on I player. The shot of a young soldier sitting in a trench about to go ’over the top’ and staring straight into the camera will stay with me forever.
10
You can still get it or any bbc iplayer programme by using ‘get_iplayer’ which rips it from their servers. Nifty script.
That footage really struck me too. 100 years ago and an age apart. A bloody awful waste of life.
9
In my dark mind of twisted bitter laughs and phantoms, whenever I hear the theme music play with the chorus of robotic clapping I immediately envisage a special Olympics medal ceremony full of retards and mongoloids.
Suppose it’s not that far off from reality in fairness.
6
Only ever watched a few minutes of this programme, primarily to watch Katya Jones.
Would very much like to do naughty things with her.
5
My mate randomly sends me challenges to put lists in order of Cuntitude or Whytness, he sent me this little challenge the other night. All Al-Beeb programmes….
Okay. I need you to judge the following. You need to rank the following BBC programmes/ events in order from Most Cuntiest to Least Cuntiest;
Here goes;
-Match of the Day
-Countryfile
-The One Show
-Sports Personality of the Year
-The BBC Weather
-Radio 4 Comedy half hour
-Strictly
-Children in Need
-Doctor Who
-Glastonbury coverage with Jo Whiley.
My response as follows;
Dr Who
R4 ‘Comedy half hour’
SPoY
One Show
Cuntryfile
Al-Beeb weather (on a Sunday)
Children in Need
Glastonbury with Willey
Strictly
MOTD
Utter utter shite which ever way you judge it.
7
How can you have left the news out? Cuntthink for fuckwits.
3
I can only run with the list Gutstick but I did do a slight amend on the Al-Beeb weather.
Why is it they always dress
Down on a Sunday?
1
I am indebted to my fellow cunters who watch this sort of shit so I don’t have to. You are fucking heroes.
10
“Never was so much” etc. ….
5
I wouldn’t watch this shit if you pointed a gun at my head.
3
Cunts that watch Strictly cunts prancing eh?
Well, there is no point in feeding pigs cherries if they are happy with shit.
2
If I needed any further incentive for not having a television, having nothing to do with soshul meeja, and indeed for discarding any ambitions of becoming a ballroom dancer. this cunting would be it. But fortunately that need is nonexistent.
I can only say that it is a pity that this shite has replaced religion as the opium of the people*. Religion has at least been responsible for great art.
“Die Religion … ist das Opium des Volkes” – (Karl Marx: A Contribution to the Critique of Hegel’s Philosophy of Right)
3
Prince Baldy Wills yesterday with his “it’s ok to be soft as shit” bollocks. Apparently, on the occasional days that he piloted an air ambulance he was terribly upset by seeing injured and dying children.
What do you think doctors, nurses and paramedics do all day you lazy fucking cunt?
Just knob about cutting ribbons and waving and shut your cakehole you fuckwit freeloader.
13
It says everything about the current Royal PR campaign that he feels it necessary to reveal that he’s upset by injured and dying children. Coming soon: “‘I’ve Never Microwaved a Kitten!,’ Sobs Wills”
8
What a silly bunt.
If Amy Winelodge is going on tour as a hologram, couldn’t we keep Liz and Phil on in the same manner. They could even be accompanied by ankle-biting, calf-wanking hologram corgis.
The rest of them can just sod off.
4
“Apparently, on the occasional days that he piloted an air ambulance he was terribly upset by seeing injured and dying children”
Welcome to my fucking world for the last twenty-five years and not twenty-five weeks.. (Apart from the air ambulance, bit). Shame there’s no ‘delete’ button on your memories.
7
‘Craftsmanship?’ Eh? Wossat? Can’t find no ‘craftsmanship’ tab in me synf…
You are bang on target, Cuntflap.
7
Yesterday my 13 year old son returned from school to tell me that his form tutor was talking about Brexit with the class. Gave many reasons why this country would be better off staying in the EU, and that 500,000 people who voted to Leave had died.
When I questioned my son further, the tutor (who I have met and seems a decent enough chap, probably in his 50’s) ended by saying, “but this is only my opinion”.
I did point out to my son that schools, colleges and universities are trying to brainwash young people to be pro Europe, but he should never forget the millions of people who died in the first world war in order to protect this country from German domination. As my son went to our local park for Armistice day (as he has done most years) with his friend, he will already realise the significance of what I am talking about, and that Theresa May simply wants to sign our country over to the EU, which has a German (Herr Merkel) at the forefront.
Told him that he should formulate his own opinion about everything in life, and this should be based on experience and facts, not rely or think what people tell him to think.
Where can I go to to get the truth and facts about Brexit so that I can decide dad. The BBC or Sky, or the newspapers?
Great question I thought. That really depends on the answer you want to get back.
6
A good teacher would endeavour to present opposing sides of an argument, in an unbiased a way as possible, keeping their personal opinions to themselves. Not so these days.
Indoctrination x3 – it’s the Libtards way or the highway.
8
Perhaps said tutor could tell me the benefits of staying in the EU because as far as I can tell the reasons to stay in are as thin as a tramps shit. Or perhaps debating with a grown adult will beyond the tutor.
Did anyone else read the Government leaflet prior to the referendum? There was nothing in it that remotely looked like a ‘benefit’ to be shackled to the unelected EUSSR for eternity to me.
How weird, spellchecker recognises ‘elected’ but not ‘unelected’.
1
I remember Angela Ripon was very upset when the BBC axed the original Come Dancing because
it was too old fashioned. It has now been on Saturday Night BBC Prime Time for the
last 14 years. They never even invited her on the show when they brought it back.
In this series they had the cat from Red Dwarf and he was a bit of cunt to his professional
dance partner. Not Chris Barrie…
not even Craig Charles… (he’d be smoking cans)… the fucking cat.
That’s scraping the bottom of the barrel.
Old joke: What’s white and runs all over the dance floor? Cum Dancing.
3
At least the old ‘Come Dancing’ had a certain quaint charm about it. ‘Strictly’ is a pile of naff cunt.
2
As an aside to the whole z-lister telly wankfest, I see that Noel Edmonds has said he’ll quit tv if he wins the latest ‘I’m a Cunt Me Out of Here’. The cunt’s got my vote…
3
I will confess that I used to watch this pile of shite many years ago, when I was younger and a lot more dumbarse and naive, but having generated a few (not many, but a few) more grey cells since then and a shitload more cynicism through life experience, I finally got a clue and realised it is nothing but an obviously fixed, producer run, vacuous cuntfest of epic proportions. The celebricunts are all a bunch of Z listers trying desperately to cling on to their relevance, even if it means making a giant bellend or tit out of themselves with some humiliating boogie moves and lairy clothing, the professionals all look like they have gone arse over tit into a vat of Creosote and the judges are all scripted cuntwaffles injected with their bodyweight in botox.
As for the news stories about whatshisname (I’ve never even heard of that particular celebricunt anyway) I couldn’t give a fuck about who he has his tongue shoved down and I really don’t see why anyone else would, except his significant other (or not so significant seeing as he is tonguing some other bint) I felt the same with the big hoohah years ago about Natasha Cuntplinsky and the Strictly professional mincer Brendan Cole, except then my only thought was who I felt most sorry for shagging THAT)
The whole show is a pile of unmitigated bollocks, presenters included. It is amazing that Claudia Winkleman hasn’t gone arse over tit down that big fucking staircase they have on there with that fringe of hers) If she ever does she can drag Tess Daly with her. Right pair of cheesy cunts.
2
Bread and circuses for the gurgling pig-people who eat out of polystyrene and listen to Robbie Williams and Adele.
Fuck ’em.
0
Trying to catch up with the cuntings.. Too much to catch up with – sorry, not enough beers to cool me down – but I’m not apologising.
Not sorry. Fucking cunts. All of them.
0
Fucking wankers prancing.
On the shit day of crimbo, my fucker pissed on me.. 72 virgins. Fucking Hel!
Hel was frozen from the beginning. Crim-mus cunts.
1