Walkers Crisps

Walkers Crisps are cunts…
Apart from their sickening association with that smear of slime, Lineker,
these cunts are bigging up their ’70th Anniversary’ and telling all and sundry that they have always produced the most popular crisps in Britain…

Absolute lies and utter bollocks… Golden Wonder and Smiths were the most popular, and both are still available… Walkers, my arse…

Nominated by. Norman

51 thoughts on “Walkers Crisps

  1. Well said Norman used to be a Smiths crisps factory just outside Portsmouth where I’m from and of course having a friend at school who’s dad worked there made them super popular. Used to get lots of free crisps my favourite are the Smiths blue bag DIY salt ones.
    Smiths, Golden Wonder, Seabrooks any but Walkers. Fuck the and fuck Lineacher as Micky Channon used to call him.

  2. First rate cunting, Norman. Anything that associate’s itself with that jug-eared, 5th rate, cheating self important piece of human excrement can FUCK right of. END OF! And you can still a 7 bag of Smith’s crisp’s in Pound land for £1. Bargain, ooh ah, bargain, as Tickle and Patch used to say.

  3. Indeed, Seabrooks makes a far better crisp than Walkers.

    Going back to.my childhood in the 70s, I really don’t recall Walkers crisps. Smith’s and Golden Wonder, yes.

    Do I run the risk of being a prized cunt by calling bullshit on Walkers claim?

  4. Excellent cunting this one! I’m with you, sooner have Smiths any day of the week, tastier and you get more than 5 in a fucking packet! Golden Wonder are class as well but they seem to be hard to acquire around my area, unless you want to spend 70p a packet out of a vending machine. Someone ought to cunt vending machines to be fair…

  5. You could turn a smiths into a walkers by dropping one down the side of the sofa for a few days. Walkers have always been terrible, they just have better marketing. I have no idea who still buys them, the markup (post manufacturing) must be so high that they don’t need to sell many to stay in profit. Thin, tasteless, overpriced baked crap. Are we sure they arent being kept afloat by goverment subsidy or something ? Being in Leicester I suppose it would be tragic if yet another wonderfully diverse city became a sea of benefit claimants. Just go take a look see at how some of the earlier enrichment programs have improved places like Ladywood, Spark hill etc etc. In my nans day, considered a very respectable place to live. Now 1 in 10 residents is on nothing but benefit’s and spice.

  6. Last time I opened a bag of Walkers it seemed to contain one of Linekunt’s farts and little else.
    New “Jug Eared Cunt” flavour perhaps, or maybe “Spicy Arsehole”…

    • Mr B, to contain one of Linedancer’s farts, it must have been at least “family size” (or in Gareeee’s case, Wife & Mistress…).

  7. Seabrooks, Tudor and Smiths. Like all the small independent manufacturers, were bought up and closed down by Walkers who were obsessed with domination of the market.
    I don’t eat Walkers crisps, why the fuck would anyone want to ? They are bland at best, and fucking awful card slices at worst!
    Walkers is another of those virtue signalling companies that gives generosly our money ( from sales ) to organizations that would boil the piss of all cunters here!

    Fuck Walkers, and fuck wing nut!

  8. Average crisp, make worse by the fact old goody-two-shoes goat boy Lineker is mincing about on screen for them. They’re probably paying him a cushty million per year; just like what he’s earning at the Al-BBC. Utter tosspot wankers.

  9. Walkers also insisted on changing the accepted Green colour for Cheese & Onion to Blue… (Everyone else’s Salt & Vinegar were Blue)
    Golden Wonder currently do the tastiest Cheese & Onion, ‘though I’m sure they’re owned by Walkers.
    Tudor crisps did a Gammon flavour, which I always thought tasted exactly like I’d expect gearbox oil to taste, judging by the smell of EP90w.

    • Oh and whilst I’m at it – Printed on the back of Walkers Beef & Onion crisps, it states “suitable for vegetarians” – BEEF ?? What the Fuck’s actually in them ?!

      • I went to Tesco,s to look on a packet……fuck me you are right spot on…..SUITABLE FOR VEGETARIANS. What in fucks name IS IN THE FUCKERS ?

        • You didn’t think it was real beef /bacon, etc in there did you? Fuck me, 250 born every minute…

  10. Eeiurrgghh…already rich celeb twats advertising anything, the greedy twats. If I was a celebrity, I’d advertise nothing but Dignitas.

    • I’d advocate Dignitas, with special reductions for the under 40s, especially those who are going to have to live “Utterly unbearable and pointless grief-filled lives” because of Brexit !

  11. Not enough data. There are only about 5 crisps in a small packet of Walkers, and that isn’t enough to support any hypothesis. Mean profiteering potato-shaving cunts.

  12. Bring back the wotsit wafflers and the twiglets! but it all honesty crisps are horrible for your health and I rather make my own sweet potato fries anyway… an a bit of chilli pepper mayo dip too

  13. It’s alright for you lucky fuckers being able to eat crisps, for me they’re verboten, can’t eat any sort of crap food, it’s all got to be healthy and boring. Used to like salt and vinegar myself.

    • Cheese & Onion… but like you Allan I don’t touch ’em these days.

      Can’t keep my hands off milk chocolate digestives though. Or treacle tart & custard.

      Health wise it’s a Granny Smiths apple a day that keeps my doctor away…

    • Should be ok Allan…Vinegar dissolves fat ! Eat as much as you like.!

  14. Sorry to sound like a trator here but I’m a Pringles man myself.
    I like the kind of salt and vinegar that makes your eyes water.

    And picked onion monster munch are nice too.

    Fuck walkers.

    • DTS, if you are ever in Switzerland, try Zwiefel S&V crisps.
      Enough salt for their motorway network,,,
      And the vinegar will take your tonsils out.

  15. In all honesty, most crisp packets these days regardless of the brand are about 70% oxygen and 30% crisps. The thieving bastards are now charging for oxygen. Last time I checked it was free for everyone.

  16. I don’t eat crisps so I don’t have a dog in the race. But I’m more than happy to endorse a cunting of anything that jug eared cunt is associated with.

  17. The fact that Lineker is a cunt is not up for debate. However, I will bring down the wrath of my fellow cunters by saying I like Walkers crisps. There, I’ve said it. Especially Thai Sweet Chilli.
    Walkers are owned by Pepsi aren’t they? Or used to be. Called Lays overseas.
    I’ll get my coat.

    • Got your back on Sweet Thai Chilli. Lays seem to be thinner and lighter on the grease, always enjoyed those whilst dossing about in the Spanish sunshine. Or maybe it’s because they actually use potatoes in Europe and not giant flakes off the back of that cunts giant flappy ears.

      • Who appeared to be stalking him, having not quite got the point of ISAC. Also not around, I think…eaten by bears?

  18. Fuck Walkers crisps, or in reality fuck Pepsico, for discontinuing Smiths ready salted chipsticks, the king of the salty savoury snack world. Utter cunts.

    • And FUCK whoever’s responsible for killing off Terry’s Waifa biscuits.
      Streets ahead of Kit-Kat, and the dark ones were fantastic with strong coffee.

      What’s the difference between a Kit-Kat and Madogga’s cunt?
      You only get two fingers in a Kit-Kat.

      • What have a washing machine and Madogga got in common?
        They both drip when they are fucked…

      • That reminds me of the good old days of the Rolling Stones when if the rumour had right it Mick shoved a Mars bar up Marians Faithfulls fanny and the band all lined up to have a nibble

  19. Walkers are alright but they seem to have taken over, Wotsits are now Walkers Wotsits I don’t think they used to be. When out and abaaaaaht looking for a bargain I found Brannigans Beef and Mustard in the poundshop. Tonnes of flavour and enough salt to be bad for you. Lovely.

  20. Tudor and Golden Wonder up our way never heard walkers mentioned in 70s or 80s
    Oh and that boy lineker is quite simply a CUNT
    FUCK THUM !!!!!

  21. No one mentioned Tudor Bovril flavour are you all vegetarians.
    Tudor Bovril flavour, the amount of flavouring they put on was unbelievable. You could hardly see the crisp underneath.
    Talking of vegetarians how the fuck do walkers sell smokey bacon crisps and say on the packet suitable for vegetarians, cunts.

  22. It is strange that Walkers continues to associate with that pious jug eared virtue signalling cunt Lineker. You’d think they’d want to distance themselves from someone so odious and disliked. Odd. Still, people in marketing departments are rarely intelligent enough to wipe their own arses. TV ads being all the evidence you need.

    As a kid, like many I’m sure, I spent a good % of my pocket money on sweets and crisps. I don’t remember Walkers being on the shelves back then. Reading some of the posts by my fellow cunters suggests many don’t remember that either. I’m a Cheese & Onion fan and based solely on taste, texture and amoma Golden Wonder are far superior to Wankers crisps. Smiths Crisps was a big brand when I was a lad too. Anyone remember these from yesteryear? Smax (smokey bacon flav I think), XL crisps, Rock ‘n’ Rollers, Space Ships? Happy times. I also remember going mental over Sausage and Tomato flavour crisps by Golden Wonder when they came out sometime in the early 80s. I bought a box of the fuckers a while back and wasn’t quite so wowed. Didn’t stop me going through the 48 packets in about 4 days though. Greedy cunt! I have little self control when it comes to crisps.

  23. I was born and dragged up in Leicester but, oddly, I don’t remember Walkers back in the 60/70’s either.

  24. My grandparents run a pub in the 1970’s. I don’t ever remember seeing or them selling one bag of walkers in that time. Behind the bar I remember Golden wonder yes, KP nuts (with saucy girl revealed as you sold each packet) yes, Cadbury’s chocolate yes, polo mints yes, cresta fizzy drink yes, walkers crisps NO. 70th anniversary my fucking arse. Maybe Gary can’t take a few peacefuls into his mansion(s) because it’s already 70% full of fucking oxygen like their bags of crisps. Cheeky miserly fuckers.

  25. Didn’t Walkers lay off a load of staff a while back? And Ol’ Jug Ears kept taking his pay check from them and stayed silent about it. Always preferred Seabrooks myself. Walkers are fucking bland.

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