Dead Pool [79]

 

Congratulations to Ram It Home Ginger Rogers for correctly guessing that the next dead cunt would be that stalwart of 1970s Childrens TV (and latterly Alcoholics Anonymous), Keith Chegwin. Commiserations are due to Shaun for not achieving four wins in a row.

So the slate is wiped clean and we move on to Dead Pool 79.

Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one):

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Nominations are now open on this post only. AND BEFORE YOU NOMINATE, FUCKING READ THE EXISTING NOMS TO CHECK THAT NONE OF YOUR PICKS HAVE BEEN TAKEN ALREADY! Good luck.

Fred West’s Nominations:

Clive James
Denis Norden
Leslie Phillips
Earl Cameron
Murray Walker

79 thoughts on “Dead Pool [79]

  1. Well done Ram it Ginger!

    In 1. Its Jim Bowen.

    In 2. Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe, Britain’s favourite Journo, sorry I meant celebrity inmate. Who else can do “press releases” from a prison cell? I’m telling you, Its a luxury villa she’s at waiting on Boris & the briefcase.

    In 3. Its another Stay Away Mum on holiday, its Kate McCann. “Oops, I forgot to say, I’ve doped them up already”.

    In 4. Keeping the gender fluids happy with a Stay Away Dad, its Gerry McCann. “Oh, I gave them a few spoonfuls too. Should be okay. Let’s go for dinner, I’m starving”

    They should have both stayed away…for life, behind bars in Portugal and someone could have made them disappear at night.

    5. Shona “the fairground prize gonk” Robison. (Scotland’s equivalent to Jeremy Hunt) She’s planning to reinvent NHS Scotland with the money raised from fixed price alcohol. Could this be the last Christmas anyone will be pissed enough to kiss this one under the mistletoe?

  2. At fucking last… the drunken cunt, and after two years of trying.

    Here’s my next lot…

    Ricky Gervais
    James Bolam
    Tim Westwood
    Robson Green
    James Blunt

  3. Can the powers that be pull me out of moderation.
    My last nom CC appears to be a trigger, can never get the cunt through….

    Cheers…

  4. I have to confess I am at an advantage as I have a model for predicting very similiar to the system made famous by Dan, contestant on Deal Or No Deal.

    Henry Kissinger
    Ken Todd
    Olivia we Haviland
    Steven Hawkins
    Ray Wilson

    • Damn, missed my fucking Sutcliffe by mere minutes! Why couldn’t Cheggers wait til I got home from work to snuff it? Anyway, gimme David Berkowitz, the Son of Sam killer instead.

  5. Do feel sorry for 24 hour news reporters. One on LBC could hardly contain his excitement saying “some people havent been able to get out of their drives”. Honestly, how can he feel rewarded by puerile smeg like that.

  6. Bloody hell again already lol

    mine are ,

    Dick van Dyke
    James Earl Jones
    Gary Glitter
    Ric ‘WOOOO’ Flair
    Freddy Foreman

  7. Nice one, Ram It Home….
    Cheggars Plays Pop Yer Clogs…

    Tommy Docherty
    Frank O’ Farrell
    Henry Woolf
    Pete Murray
    Eileen Derbyshire

  8. Bastard. Another orf me intos to The Pool snaffled and croaked. Double bugger and blast.

    Ken Dodd
    Val Kilmer
    Tony Bennett
    Prince Phillip
    Rhonda Fleming

  9. David attenborough (natural causes)
    Harrison ford (natural causes)
    Dianne abbott (myocardial infarction)
    Jeremy corbyn (traumatic rhabdomyolysis)
    Paloma faith (traps herself against door trying to peel an orange through the letterbox)

    • On another subject, it’s a shame that ISAC and the ISAC deadpool didn’t exist in the 2005-07 period, that would have been ripe pickings on the wrestling front….

  10. Terry Christian (has he been cunted yet)
    Andrew Flintoff
    Esther Rantzen
    John McDonnell (that’s actually a fantasy)
    Sophie B Hawkins

  11. Prince philip
    Randy quaid
    Godfrey bloom
    Earl Spencer
    Elton John (probably from AIDS which despite its name offers no meaningful assistance)

  12. Camillaaah Parkyer-Bowels
    Silly Jilly Cooper
    Megan Marple-Merkel
    Joannaaaah Plastic-Bumley

    And the stupid blonde bint on the McCain’s pre-Emmerdale sponsorship wankathon.
    Otherwise, I’m sure better cunters than me have already nabbed Mogadon May, Whining Owen Jones et al…

  13. Of course, the ABBC pricks are going over the top about that Scouse pisspot, Chegwin…
    Apparently – according the the Savile sheltering peaceful appeasing corporation – Cheggers was a ‘TV Legend’…. Legend?! Chegwin?! Do fuck right off!

      • Damn O;Hara not Wolfe. Another weird miss which raised me blood pressure briefly and me heart rate, Al least reminds a fellow he is still alive. Jerry Van Dyke has croaked at 86. Who? Precisely, on second reading, the younger brother orf long time pool favourite Dick Van Dyke. Not the original Van Dyke. Batard bugger.

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