Meaningless surveys

Nomination: Meaningless surveys

What the fuck. Some bunch of cunts just pulled a couple of dozen people off the street and asked them “Where is the best place to live in Britain?”

Answer ? Skipton

Skipton for fucks sake? Skipton? Have you ever been to fucking Skipton? Well, I have and it definitely ain’t the best place to live in Britain. No way.

And where is the friendliest place in Britain? Keswick – probably because no cunt lives there apart from b&b owners and shopkeepers selling walking gear and tacky tourist trash.

And apparently the best place to live in London is Peckham. Even their Labour MP – one Harriet Harman – lives in Herne Hill which last time I looked wasn’t in Peckham.

What is the fucking point of these surveys other than to fill newspapers with meaningless bollocks?

Nominated by Dioclese.

86 thoughts on “Meaningless surveys

  1. Well, you are simply going to fucking love the latest race survey in the news this morning. Figures are posted on the Ethnicity Facts and Figures website of all places.
    Apparently white british kids are all poor and compare poorly with the rest of the world. Except gypsies.
    What a load of cuntocratic propaganda.
    These surveys (like yougov) get people to willingly give information and then use that willingness to say “here is what you lot thought” with the aim of taking us further along the road to some political nirvana.

    • Survey says peaceful unemployment double that of white due to institutional racism. Really?

      Nothing to do with peacefuls not wanting to integrate, forbidding wives to work outside home or learn English? Nothing to do with peacefuls working black market whilst claiming benefit, or taking extended ‘holidays’ abroad in Syria & Iraq?

      No, of course not. It’s the fault of hideous white Institutional Racism as usual. Fair cop guv!

      • A friend who works at a Jobcentre told me about how the black British security guard who works there got a bollocking for saying his relatives who sign on there are workshy cunts. One of them apparently had a go at him in front of a room full of people,about how he was letting the family down by working there!

  2. I think the survey maybe right about Keswick as they have the Cumberland Pencil Museum which documents the history of pencils. I know that if it was relocated to Brighton then I would be a lot more friendly, and my self esteem would be lifted.

    • Oh CNR might it be coming to Brighton?? 😂
      Hopefully like the I 360 us locals will get a discount?
      I can see myself spending hours in there, so much history and knowledge…..
      I’m sure most of the time these surveys are actually done as a joke!! Let’s give the proletariat something to talk about down the pub!!
      As dio said it’s just filling the paper up…… tbh rather that than reading clegg endlessly bleating on and on about brexit ……. etc etc

  3. No different to the Census every 10 years.

    You have to be one deluded cunt to fill that fucker in. For fucks sake does the UK government think that the Abduls, Mohammeds and Grenfell type residents are going to fill that cunt of a form in? What about the flatheads living 20 to a house and working illegally?

    Thought not

    One thousand pound fine apparently for not completing the form, so the lady and gentlemen said on my doorstep. Fuck them, a thousand bucks for not telling the government my details, I’ll take that, 100 a year seems like a good deal to me. And don’t come round my house and threaten me either, not wise you cunts.

    Never have and never will fill in the Census.

  4. On ITV news last night, an intrepid interviewer travelled to, yam, Birmingham, where he interviewed several ‘people of colour’.

    All three of them, without exception, were of the opinion that racial prejudice was a problem in the UK and of two of them, ‘dey wuz nevva givun dey oppotoonitees’ to progress a career as ‘de whiteys’ oppressed dem. The black girl even blamed it on whitey prejudice against her ‘fro mop.

    Of course, Birmingham’s population comprises 50% ethnic. So even in their own insular bubble, whitey somehow makes it impossible for them to progress.

    • One day they may realise they have no job because they are a cunt.
      One of the great things about being a cunt is that colour, gender, ideology and all the other inane bollocks that supports a vast profitable industry has no effect whatsoever on being a cunt. Anyone of any sex, skin colour etc.etc can be a cunt. Cunt, a truely inclusive state of being.

      • The land of free money ensures we have a constant supply of nig nogs, wops, spics and coons.

    • Or maybe their problem is that they are a useless lazy feckless bunch of self absorbed, self entitled racist cunts.

  5. Fuck sake Mr Dioclese. Don’t you know that 87.3% of all statistics are made up on the spot?

  6. If I go to B&Q, they want my e-mail ( for a receipt you see ) If I go to Homebase, ,they want my e-mail ( for my receipt ) If I go to M&S, they too want my e-mail.

    In short, I am continually bombarded with advertising on line, and surveys by the fucking dozen, each with its own fucking virtue flag ie. “we support Cunta Kinte in Africa” or “we support baboons in Botswana ”

    I don’t want to fill in fucking surveys designed to get the result they want ( not what they deserve )

    It doesn’t just end with shopping. ! “How’s my Driving?” “Did we do well today” and so on…

    “Would you like to support a child in Cambodia? ”


  7. Whatever you guys do do not fill in anything that says ” take a survey and earn cash ” I did ( whilst obv in drink) one night – 6 fucking months it took for the cunts to stop filling my inbox !!!!! Seriously a hurricane load of wind and pish

  8. Frankly any cunt that gives their primary email address and accurate contact details away to any old cunt is a fucking cunt to start with.

    No fucking sympathy with you, you daft cunts.

  9. When you order something online and after it’s delivered you get an email asking “How did we do?”.

    Well, I ordered something, paid you money for it and you sent it to me. What do you want, a fucking medal?

    If you fuck it up, then you’ll hear from me, but providing a basic service doesn’t warrant praise, twats.

  10. During a recent survey involving dyslexic Yorkshiremen, more than half admitted to putting a cat flap on their head…..

  11. What an excellent choice of subject matter as this is the most exciting day in the survey calendar, Racial Inequality day.

    Apparently there is an integration problem. Well how many times do you hear the terms Muslim community, Pakistani community, Polish community, any other foreign cunt community. They don’t want to integrate and we want them to fuck off so it’s never going to happen.

    Now, 87% of gypsy children can’t read, write or do maths. 87% seems a touch on the low side but the only skills they need to develop is how much benefit money is left after vodka and marijuanna.

    And the age old adage that blacks are 57 times more likely to be stopped and searched or something. No mention of the fact the cunts are 57 times more likely to be carrying.

    All in all, a very useful survey.

    • Fucking Hell! How in fucks name did they manage that???? As for the anti British white hating turban headed fuck witch. She has one hell of a fucking nerve to apply for ANY job ! She needs to have her citizenship revoked and needs kicked out of the UK. And all the fuckers in her family too!

      OOOOOO….my piss boils when I read that!

  12. I feel i should have mentioned that it was a labour council too.

  13. Vodafone, like M&S, have these cuntitudinous surveys…ending with the bizarre question:

    Why did you give us the answers that you did?

    FFS, because that’s what I felt at the time…

    Cunts obviously aching for a load of corporate self-validation.

  14. I’m in my latter years but I’ve never once ever been asked to do a survey about anything ever ever. I would welcome with open arms the opportunity to partake in the racial integration survey, or a survey on immigrants, or a survey on the EU, or a survey on the royal family or a survey on cunting anything. I’m part of the great ignored.

    • I’ve never been asked to a survey either.
      Either they don’t exist and are made up, I have never encountered one taking place or maybe when they see this evil eyed cunt swaggering down the street, they say “not that cunt” and let me pass.
      Shame, as I’d love the opportunity to wind the cunts up.

      Anybody know anybody that was asked to give answers for the Family Fortunes survey? or was that made up an’ all.

  15. Most ads aimed at wimmin, ie beautification products, have very small-print figures suggesting that the statistics were done on about 100 volunteers.

    Anyone who works in science and related areas will know that such a low figure is basically irrelevant.

    Face cream and bust cream can, in any case, be obtained free of charge…

    • Similar with “every snowflake is different”.
      Some scientist looked at 500 snowflakes and came up with that bullshite “fact” that dicks love to spout.

      That’s real snowflakes from the clouds, not the cunts we are encumbered with today.

  16. Noa Jansma is another boring unoriginal sour faced feminazi cunt.She takes selfies and post them every time she is catcalled.If. I am caught out by msssssss Jansma I will do the pussy licking gesture to accompany her stony face that resembles a gargoyle that just inhaled the smell of ferret oiss.I would only cat call her from behind her face is that of a narcissist and probable bunny boiler.

    • I wouldn’t catcall . I’d just wave my cock at her. She’s probably a lezza but the sight of my pussy-plunger should put all that nonsense to bed. Most good-looking lezzas can be cured by a dose of mutton-dagger….the ugly ones?…who fucking cares?

  17. Star Wars fans are cunts…

    All those tossers going apeshit over the latest Star Wars trailer are twats….
    The usual ‘look at me’ social media mongs (and ABBC bellends) are spouting endless bollocks about which celebrity cunts are making meaningless and anonymous cameo appearances in Stormtrooper helmets (and wetting themselves over it)… Then there’s the wankers who are going on about how ‘cute’ that irritating cuddly toy type thing that’s with Chewbacca is (not put in there for massive merchandise and toy sales to multitudes of mongs by any chance?)…. Then there’ll be the cunts who will go through said trailer: frame by fucking frame, trying to find ‘clues’ ‘revelations’ ‘exclusives’ and other such bullshit practiced by spotty, sweaty, never had a shag saddo nutjob fanboy cunts… I bet there’s a million or more Star Wars fancunts wanking themselves daft tonight… And it won’t be over Daisy Ridley either…

    • Is Harrison Ford in this one? They keep reeling him out for all his old favourites like Blade Runner and heard he signed up for Indiana Jones 5. At this rate he will be playing his own granddad.

      • Star Wars is ‘science fiction’ for the type of cunts who think Michael McIntyre is funny.

    • I have stated plenty of times that the world changed for the worse since it was no longer socially acceptable to smash a chair over some cunts head.
      Star Wars fans treating me as a cunt for not having one tiny bit of interest in their shite fantasy would be solved by a chair being smashed over their heads.

    • Totally agree Norman ……
      This whole cameo appearance stuff is absolute shite!! It’s been done to fucking death……
      next they will all be arguing on some wank forum about which storm trooper was jay z or Kanye west or whatever Cunt they want to stick in the film!!
      Absolutely cretins……..

      • I’m pretty sure they are all into necrophillia. How can they otherwise explain how Carrie Fisher is in it when she is dead.

          • Agreed!!
            I would love to spray my millet over her chops……..
            charlize Theron would also get the aforementioned seed……

      • I’ve never bin able to stomach more than 20 minutes of the cunt – and I’ve tried THREE times over the last 30 years!

        Never again, learned my lesson the hard way.

        • I saw the first one back in 77 and immediately sussed it for what it was. A ripoff of classic war and western films specifically designed to flog a load of plastic toys and fill George Lucas’ pockets.
          Moonraker was much better…

  18. Surveys are a load of bollocks. I’ve just recently returned a postal one to the National Parks Authority. I filled it in with a load of complete bullshit and drew a sketch of a woman with massive tits in the section which asked what amenities I thought would improve the National Park.
    I suspect that 50% of the people who respond to these things do the same as me,so why bother send them? We contrary Cunts are always just going to deliberately try and fuck up their earnest enquiries,particularly when it’s a postage-paid opportunity.

      • Northumberland National Park. Q. I was fucking lucky…a few miles further north and I could have ended up Scotch…..Fuck me,that really would have been a kick in the Fiddler nuts.

        • I saw the very sad news today that both Scotland and Wales failed to qualify for 2018 WC …
          what’s the chances eh???

          • True enough,but I must admit that it wouldn’t have broken my heart if that collection of overpaid wankers,the England team,had been knocked out too. It would save all that shite we get every time about “England are gunna win…Football’s coming home…etc..”
            Bunch of Cunts. Fuck them.

          • Already Harry Kane is the third best player in the world despite being miles of pace against Lithu-fucki-ania.

          • Agreed DF….
            I used to buy into that shite!!
            My dad always used to say England were overrated, he saw Hungary take them apart 6-3 in 53 at Wembley ….
            He also reckoned the 70, s World Cup team were better than 66?? Although they didn’t win in his opinion they were a better team…
            By the time I was in my teens he had given up on England!! He used to say they wouldn’t win the World Cup in not only his lifetime but mine too?? Well he died 4 years ago and I’m over 50 he may well be right!!! 😂
            Overpaid overrated Cunts !!

        • Already told you that you might be part scotch.
          They rustlers rustled all over.

          Don’t you know the difference?
          Scots is the people, scotch is what you say to wind up the people. 🙂

          Fuckin joke, jocks, awrite!!!!!

          • You can’t wind up a people with such a well-developed sense of humour as the Scotch. They’re well known for their sunny outlook on life….I think they’re great..and funny..and generous.
            The miserable,tight,untrustworty Cunts.

          • Did you see wee krankie turdgun’s attempt at humour at the Scottish Nazi Party jamboree ??

            She waived a pack of Strepsils aloft, saying “I’ve come prepared”

            About as funny as Nev Chamberpot and his piece of paper

    • Heard The National Trust was revamping a ‘historic dogging site’ with stranger sex interaction, gives them the day off from celebrating the poofs in the recent crusade.

  19. Tabitha Downes _King is a cunt .This so called gender fluid activist was on GMB lecturing Piers Susannah and the audience about how she decides whether she is a man or woman every day when she wakes up and if she feels like a man inserts a prosthectic cock into her cunt and draws on a moustache.The freak was raised by twosseparated dykes and has a biological dad who is a tranny.A perfect case of what happens when freaks have children. This gender fluidity sounds like a manifestation of split personality disorder and schizophrenia.And these people are clearly going untreated.Scary shit.

    • Ha ha! So fucking funny! Obviously little more than an extreme case of boredom coupled with the need to be validated by others. What a cunt! Thanks ! My guts are hurting from laughing!

    • What do these people do for employment?. Do they just become ‘bloggers’ or ‘activists’. These terms are of course shorthand for maladjusted self absorbed weirdo cunt. I would seriously object to being around some cunt who is Arthur one day and Martha the next,and expects everyone else to walk on eggshells about it.

      • The term activist is code for commie prick who is too up their own arse to get a proper job and is unemployable anyhow due to their sublime sense of self entitlement.

    • You have to empathise with Tabitha’s plight. As a female she’s a dog, as a male she’s a pathetic joke.

      As a human being she’s just a waste of space cunt.

  20. Can I cunt the BBC? Well I’m going to anyway. Day in day out the fucking BBC pushes the line we are a racist, homophobic, misogynist bunch of cunts.

    If it ain’t women it’s Muslims, if not muslims it’s LBGT. Today there’s a story about a Muslim woman who found she could get a job if she removed her headscarf. Proof we are all racists apparently. What about the alternative BBC, that when the woman concerned made an effort to integrate she was then welcomed into employment.

    The multicultural experiment has failed totally and completely. When people of any colour come here and integrate everyone gets along on the whole. Leave your 3rd world 7th century garb where it is the culture if you want to be part of our.

    No more fucking Mosques, no more Islamic council of Great Britain. Assimilate into our culture or fuck off.

    As for the BBC, stop pushing agendas and divisions and start acting like the British Broadcasting Corporation.

    Whilst I’m at it we should ban Islamic and Punjabi radio stations. Tired of being expected to be ashamed of being a white English male.

  21. A CUNTING:
    Harvey Wankstain
    This blubbery old cunt who looks like Alan Sugar’s arse has been in the news orf late principally due to the indefatigable effort s orf The New York Times – see here:
    The allegations (denied) are a classic tale orf Hollywood life. Sweet innocent young gels are lured to Hollywood by prospects orf fame and fortune where powerful producer (Miramax/Weinstein Company) Mr Wankstain is top orf their list to see. However the little rosebuds get to see rather more than they expect. Wankstain is a dab hand at exposing his wizened old privates in lifts, hotel rooms, aeroplanes and taxis. Modus operandi rarely changes – the filly is trapped and given a viewing or an appearance is made in a fluffy dressing gown followed by an invitation to watch him shower and culminating in a spot orf cock sucking.
    Now this been going orn for decades, indeed an open secret aroinde Sin City and Wankstain openly boasts orf having fucked and created most orf the female stars in Hollywood. A few fillies going orn old nags that cunters may have actually heard orf include Gynneth Paltrow, Angelina Jolie and Meryl Streep.
    Yours Truly has trundled his old arse aroinde LA orn occasion and what a dried up shite hole it is. Insincerity and aircon is the name orf the game. Bigger the agent the colder the office and the warmer the hello. Lying cunts. Not to say that YT did not get offers from “talent”. Unfortunately once they cottoned on that YT was more boraccic than they were they fannied orf sharpish. How did the cunt Wankstain do it?
    “He had an elaborate system reliant on the cooperation of others: Assistants often booked the meetings, arranged the hotel rooms and sometimes even delivered the talent, then disappeared, the actresses and employees recounted. They described how some of Mr. Weinstein’s executives and assistants then found them agents and jobs or hushed actresses who were upset”.
    In short those “upset” were “hushed” with £60000-£11000 plus gainful employ to cover their distress. The whole seedy system was administered orn behalf orf the Wankstain by lawyers and agents. Wankstain’s response? Total denial orf said allegations and a trip to the therapist (not cheap in LA). Meanwhile the Hollywood talent has got orn its high horse (and I not mean Wankstain) and frightened Wanks in to resigning/getting fired. Moral orf the story? Don’t frighten the horses.

    • Whoops – should be 60,000 to 100,000 dollars. Lorst a zero as the actress said to the judge when claiming compo for lorst virginity.

        • A certain infamous Hollywood bike has now said she was a ‘victim’ of Harvey Weinstein…. Oh, my fucking sides… Slagelina has done more screwing than a DIY enthusiast, done more sucking than a Dyson, and has seen off more blokes than both World Wars…. I dare say it’s to gain some sympathy and publicity as her divorce from Bradders gains momentum….

          • Yeah all the stupid bitches coming out the woodwork now weinstein is not the power behind the cameras. If he did the stuff he’s supposed to have done fuck him but they needed to speak out when it happened to them not later. But no their career comes first always. And Jeremy Vine cunt and Ken Bruce scotch cunt talked about how he could have got away with it for so long and without any sense of irony considering the fact they work for the pedo protection unit known as the ABBC cunts one and all

        • A cunt who abuses cunts. Sounds like the perfect arrangement to me. Am I missing something somewhere?

    • Ah hadnt thought of date rape.Also if you chained someones arms to a bed it could be possible.

  22. Well its pretty hard to see what the problem is when you consider, as an example, how many awards shite like “blue is the warmest colour” got nominated for.
    And anyway, imagine how many people would think that amount of money and fame would be totally fucking OK in exchange for watching an old guy try and wank himself off.
    I hereby nominate Weinstein’s victims to be cunted.

  23. Breaking news that Wankstain has had his membership orf BAFTA (British Arsehole Film makers and Tossing Actors) taken away. Bugger me that has really stuck the stake in the heart orf the Vampire.

  24. Skipton – assuming West Mids – ain’t great but it does have one redeeming feature. The Rising Sun pub there does (or did) one of the nicest pints of Timothy Taylor’s Landlord bitter ever!

    Keswick, ok but the best…Hmmm…again has the redeeming feature of having a famous car museum including the original Adam West Batmobile, if you’re into that sort of thing, o’course.

    About 20yrs ago Experian did one of these things and said Stoke was the 3rd worst place to live (I think Wrexham pipped it in second – can’t remember first).

    I saw one recently saying Stoke was one of the best places in the country to live.

    They were right first time round, nothing’s changed since!

    I’d still take it in a heartbeat over Lutonistan. There’s a reason why shitholes like this don’t get nominated and that’s because no cunt round here speaks English!

    If they could develop an Urdu/Polish/Swahili Esperanto/Pidgin language they’d get tens of thousands of the cunts and the odd one or two English fuckers – which is reflective of the joy of immigration in this neck of the woods!

    Cunt of a hole it is! 😠

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