Michael Eavis [2]

Labour leader Wilfrid Bramble (left) and event Organiser Gary Glitter speak to the crowd from the Pyramid stage at Glastonbury Festival, at Worthy Farm in Somerset.

Michael Eavis is a supreme cunt. Went in and oit orf his arse for a year or two trying to do a deal re an artistic presentation. Cunt will only talk telephone numbers and rabbits orf oit from any bargaining and leaves it all to his daughter who then says you have to talk to slap head Eavis who then says you have to talk to his daughter….All the while projecting the old image orf cool. Talks loike a farmer, screws loike a farmer and Glasto is shite. Not that I am biased in any way.

Nominated by Sir Limpy Stoke

77 thoughts on “Michael Eavis [2]

  1. his daughters a cunt too silly tart ruined the whole shooting match when he handed her the reigns to pick the line up

  2. A money-grubbing businessman who, for over forty years, has worn the disguise of a free-flowing hippy and constantly looks like his head is on upside down.

  3. Friend of mine did his daughter once. During the act, I’m told she uttered the unforgettable line, “”Stick it up my arse, you stud.”

    • Does it count if theres ducttape over the mouth and the words muffled?! He obviously imagined that she said that. Also if the answer was Lily Allen the maybe its believeable after all…

    • Classy lass eh!I cant decide whether or not I would giver her a go after 15 pints.

  4. Complete bellend, don’t know what he’d been smoking if he thinks Jezza is the answer to the country’s problems. Quite ironic Compo’s speech about austerity and his vision of socialism to the very people and their parents who he plans to tax to the eyeballs to help pay for it all.

    As for Gladsto being about peace, love and uniting people is a load bullshit, its the most elitist and corporate festivals out there purely for middle class cunts to listen to overrated cunts.

    • Dead right…. Steptoe talking about ‘socialism’ to arguably the most middle class and and bunch of ‘Daddy’s paying’ audience of cunts on earth…. It’s laughable… Corbyn is the snowflakes’ new pet… Just like when they cheer crap like Lionel Richie, the ‘Glasto’ knobheads areslick Jezza because they think it’s ‘cool’… Fucking wankers…

      • Hmmm…

        Give it 25yrs, 2 kids about to hit uni’, mortgage through the roof, they’ll be voting Tory just like Mummy & Daddy (which today they vowed they’d never do).

        “Well these ruffian ne’er do wells simply won’t work! Tell me Felicity, how come we’re still paying for these layabouts when jobs like car washing and cleaning are being done by every other Tom, Dick and Harry in the world, ay, answer me that!?!”

        “Because you voted for the other lot darling. Remember?”

        “Yes, yes, yes never mind that, I’m on about now!?!”

        “Oh darling you do sound like that dreadful bore of a father of yours you know.”

        “What!!! Never! Anyway the kids are away, it’s Friday night so – my love – what are *WE* going going to do ay? Narph, narph!”

        “Well it’s prayers first then we agreed to stay behind for an extra prayer session as the Ayatollah is coming this evening. Now what do you think, the black hijab number or the black niquab number!”

        “Er, ummm, hijab. I want to see your face after I mistook Polly for you when you wore the same niquab! Remind me again, why are my Friday evenings ruined and Sunday mornings just aren’t the same without a bacon sandwich – what!?!”

        “Because you vote…”

        “Voted them in. I know, I know.”

        “Don’t look so depressed darling. Tell you what, after extra prayers we can get up to some naughty stuff.”

        “Phwoarrr, ding – dong! And can we get Mr goat outfit on?”

        “If we must…”

        “Bang on!”

  5. Thank fuck the cuntfest that is ‘Glasto’ is called off for 2018…. It just shows how there are no new good bands around…When I say bands I mean guitar, bass, drums, not cunts like One Direction…. Every headliner in recent years has either been a rock relic (Stones, U2, Macca) or some disposable ‘pop’ shite (Kunty Perry, Kanye Cunt etc)… Then there’s the cabaret slot (Richie, Parton, Gibb and so on)… And as for the audience?…. I wonder if one working class person ever actually goes to Glastonbury now, or can afford to go?…But then, why would they want to? It’s a load of Tarquin and Jemima bollocks… ‘Glasto’ even has brats play areas now…. And tents with TVs and all that other shit? Holy Mary, mother of wank… Whatever happened to Donnington and Reading? Whatever happened to Rock ‘N’ Roll?… Kunty Perry and Pimms?! Fuck off, Eavis, yer cunt!

    • I’m with you there, Norman. Apparently the Eavises have been trying for years to book the original Slade line-up, but Noddy Holder’s having none of it.

      • Noddy is getting old and hasn’t sung in years can’t imagine him doing a reunion tour now

  6. Off subject , but can anyone enlighten me as to why its taken 28 fuckin years at a cost of £28.6 million to consider if their should be prosecutions for Hillsborough ???
    Why am i going all cynical and thinking is this really about justice or more about cash in hand ?

    • The total cost as of April 2016 is in excess of 70m. I’m not saying this is wrong but in the cold light of day there will be no winners unless a case for compensating the families is forthcoming. So what if a couple of people go to prison, it won’t make a fucks worth of difference to what happened or what will happen in the future. They may as well have had a couple of lynchings from some lampposts years ago to exact some revenge. Of all these enquiries, bankers and now the towers fire nothing ever fucking happens except lawyers get rather wealthier. Take a big breath and put the efforts into something tangible.

      • Thank you Kendo, excellent article, you should have your own newspaper column. Or do you ???

        • Actually, I disagree. Yes. prevention is better than a cure but in situations like these, someone must be held accountable. I think, on the contrary, it could and will make an impact on the future.

  7. I did see he was open to changing his mind Norman, if ‘ a certain band reform’ so the cuntfest could return, otherwise the turnip munching gnome will be sat on his toadstool next year.

    • Even if wealth could be reset evenly over the entire population the Pareto Distribution model will just repeat the current situation where the tiny minority will have accumulated almost all of the wealth again, leaving the vast majority with nothing.

      Perhaps in as little as 3 generations, so what then, reset the whole thing again?

      The good thing about tax havens is that Governments know that of they tax too much, more people will use them, so to eradicate tax havens will be a complete economic disaster as if an entrepreneur/business knows that after a certain point all his/her/their wealth will be confiscated (and no way to protect it) then why bother striving to be creative, be innovative and drive the economy.

      Where then does that leave the Marxist Utopian dream?

      Just my humble opinion

    • I looking forward to the day one of Corbyn’s commissars comes down to Worthy Farm and announces that the land will be redistributed amongst the local peasantry. Its either that or a bullet in the back of baldy’s neck.

  8. Tell you what, Eavis you cunt, why don’t we leave the tents up this year and invite some ‘children’ from Calais up to spend some time on you ample estate?

    Talk about ‘peace’, ‘love’ and bringing people together. Why don’t these hypocritical rich cunts put their socialist principles into practice and give their land away. All property is theft, right Michael?

    • Funny two old rich blokes got a rapturous applause from new age stoners who can afford hundreds of pounds for the pleasure .This is a staple of working class socialist ideals how exactly.

  9. Totally agree with all the above, glasto has become a wankfest, it’s been heading in that direction for a few years now but 2017 plumbed new depths, I didn’t even watch the shower on TV… Utter shite!!

    • I went to Glastonbury a couple of times many years ago,when I was about 18 and then about twenty. I can’t imagine my younger self being impressed with Corbyn being wheeled on stage to talk shite. I suspect I would have thought “who is this coffin dodging mental old cunt?Fuck off and lets have the music back” or something similar. These cunts going now think they are the counter culture,it is embarrassing. You know it’s had it’s day when the Sunday Times runs a What Festival Tribe do you belong to? quiz in their colour supplement.

  10. Was more like a Labour Party rally at times, this year plumbed to new depths with McDonnell’s anti Tory ranting aided by the cunts at ABBC giving this parasite airtime.

    • The caption was already there but I thought it necessary to make a couple of small changes. 😛

  11. The only good thing about ‘Glahsteaux’ as the middle class fuckwits now call it, is it leaves the rest of the country relatively twat. Bellend and cunt free for the best part of a week.

    What kind of utter cunt pays £900 to rent a fucking tent FFS!

    • If only we wore so lucky… but cunts seem to have long lifespans, from sucking good peoples souls i think.

      • Never assume her death with a bad hangover Shes nursing her wee head after all the cocaine shes snorted

        • We would have heard of a candlelight vigil direct from luvvie central Islington by now. Do they do a ‘sorry for your OD’ at Clinton Cards?.

    • Probably because she knows that if the Queens speech passes which it almost certainly will she is going to look like a bigger mong than usual.

      • I do feel sorry for Keith for having such an embarassment of a daughter.I mean the guy is a cunt but cant help but feel sorry for him.A bit like how I feel sorry for Tony Booth having the shame of Cherie and Lauren being his daughters.

    • So the countless bombings, van rammings and stabbings over the last few weeks in the UK by “peaceful” cunts is ok then?

      What a deluded fuckwit!

      By her standards then that means that all non-“peacefuls” should go around tooled up just on the off-chance???

      What a dozey cunt! Hey thicko (no doubt a product of the European libbo education establishment – that the UK has also bought into, twats), how about campaigning for Govts all over Europe to arrest ALL the terrorist cunts they’re watching!

      When they’ve done that then we’ll take a count of “peaceful” Vs non-“peaceful” suspected terrorists. If the ratio – respectively – is less than 10,000:1 then I’ll give up pork scratchings!

      Mind you if they did that, the Soros guided powers that be would no doubt demand any old non-“peaceful” be bound over just to make the “peaceful” stats look good! Fucking cunts!

      There’s only two problems in this world which needs addressing right now: the ‘M’ problem and the neo-liberal fascists who appease them!

      Everything else is just window dressing.

    • Is that the same, the very same Chris Martin that lives in…..L.A. Boring cunt, boring cunt in a boring band with boring songs. Fucking wankstain, another knobhead that thinks they know better than those that live among the shit, while he is tucked up in his fucking mansion. Cunt needs to be arse raped by a dirty fucking stinky peaceful, sand dwelling sandw@g.

    • Coldplay are the most boring whiney cunts I’ve ever heard.

      …no good bands these days man.

      Listening to to the vapors at the mo.
      Love the vapors man, especially jimmy jones, prisoners and turning Japanese.

      • @deploythesausage Agree its hard to find good new bands. I Haven’t checked out the vapors I just know of turning japanese and a few other singles but I’ve been listening to a bit of new wave myself.

        Last night I listened to human league’s travelogue album 1st impressions are… pretty decent album aged better then most new wave that I’ve listened too. They almost sound like kraftwerk meets devo or something haha lol

        • I’ll check it out TS.

          Nothing these days thats any good but there’s decades of shit I haven’t heard to go through.

          There must be some good bands out there at the mo but fucked if I know how to find em.

          Nice one.

  12. Lilly Allen is a prime example as to why burkhas may not be such a bad idea….Diane Abbot’s woulx be a tent. Also David Lammy is a cunt. So is Sadiq Khan and Piers Morgan and James O’Biren also.

  13. I think ive done it! A new gravitar!
    (If it worked … guess I’ll find out soon).

    Cheers for the info dio!

    I wanted an image but didn’t know it was possible. Think I’ve done it.

    I look rather fetching don’t you think?
    (That’s not really me by the way).

    I used a new email to get this so I guess i gotta get moderated.

    …..moderate me baby!!!

      • Don’t worry he won’t know my email unless he knows me, and if he knows me it ain’t gonna be for long.

  14. I nominate Donald Tusk to be the cunt of the 21st century. He is solely responsible for Brexit. The Cunt.

    In a failing EU, David Cameron, highlighted a couple of problems and basically said whoa boy.. we’re Britain, don’t fucking push us. And Tusk, the cunt, forgot that he was polish, forgot that the UK saved Europe’s ass from Nazism and thought there was some kind of new cool going down… the ignorant, forgetful, dumb, power-hungry, centre of attention wannabe cunt. He genuinely thought he could tell Cameron to piss off on his requests and the UK would be cool with that….. dumb cunt… look what you’ve caused CUNT

    • Tusk is just another generic reich loving cunt, as is cameron and pretty much ALL of the “elites” (as they love to call themselves).
      I don’t really hate the reich anymore, I hate the treacherous, tratorous, backstabbing, weak, doss cunts that are SUPPOSED to represent us.
      The British government could’ve taken those cunts to the cleaners and forced a “deal” but instead they’ve dilly dallied around, given them the initiative and weakened our position at every turn.
      You’re right, tusk is a cunt and a monumentally ungrateful cunt at that. But unfortunately our politicians are weak cunts ….and that’s much, much worse.

      • Just read my last post back. … I HATE the reich, just not as much as the doss cunts that are “negotiating” on our behalf.
        Weak cunts.

      • Quite so.

        The enemy is already within…

        At least the Vysegrad Four (Czech Rep., Slovakia, Poland and Hungary) appear to be trying to defend their cuntries from the tsunami of slime…

        Saw the PM of Poland on Youtube. She looks a well-hard, no-nonsense sort who could d/w a tank single-handedly… Rather Ann Widdecombe in appearance.

    • We owe him a debt of gratitude then. Britain never voted to join the EU, the first opportunity we had to decide if we wanted to be part of a political union we voted out. Anyone who pays attention and looks behind the MSM sanitised image we get of Europe dominated by EU globalists should be able to see plain and simple why we want to get away from the EU.

      Europe is in deep shit and it’s engineered shit. The people of Europe need to wake up, the window to save all or part of Europe for Europeans can be measured in years not decades, even at this stage taking back Europe is an ugly process, the alternative is total surrender.

  15. You can just tell Michael Eavis is a cunt. In the Metro newspaper they had the headline “I’ll be PM before Christmas” on Monday. This is as if Corbyn was saying it, but it wasn’t. It was this cunt’s opinion. It’s also not clear if he thinks, was told privately or if it’s his opinion that Corbyn would scrap Trident. Badly written journalistic shite.

    In the week when Britain’s new HMS Queen Elizabeth is setting sail for tests from the Firth Of Forth has the defence minister or shadow defence minister spoke on TV saying how important this is to the defence of this country? No. If Labour want to win an election get rid of Corbyn and Flabbot and take the defence of this country seriously.

    • Or they could just do the country a favour and kill themselves.

      …I’d vote for that!

  16. EU has just realised that with us leaving there will be a massive hole in their budget, at least £8.8 billion a year or 16%. Gave some bull on less generous subsidies to farmers, no chance on them cutting back on gold plated pensions and fat cat salaries. That’s the real reason for this ‘divorce bill’, they just want to rinse us before we fuck off.

    • They’ve set an eye-wateringly high bill (£100 Billion?) hoping that we’ll settle for about half, and with the noises coming from Zelda, Davis and the other spineless, negotiating pricks, we’re likely to pay it.

      It’s been a year since we won in spite of all the Remainiac lies and scaremongering by the Vested Interest. Since then we’ve shelled out another £10 Billion (net) to fund railways in Poland, sewers in Bulgaria and bridges in Greece. We’ve also accepted another 500 000 criminals/drug sellers/benefit tourists and half of them simply walk in from Eurotrash shiteholes. Who knows how many of the rotten cunts will have arrived before we’re able to close the door and demand that people are actually qualified to come here.

      The decision to Leave is being diluted. We must remember who the traitors are.

    • These CUNTS are just blackmailing, fraudulent robbers. They really are the IVth reich, their grabbing is just like nicking all the artwork, property &c. from the Jews.

      Juncker became a IVth reich nazi, and he’s so feckin deluded and pissed he just doesn’t realise it.

      Stupid old CUNT.

  17. That pic in the header, I’m sure I’ve never held another mans armpit in my life.

    Is it a ‘hipster’ thing ?

    Or is it just Jezza screwing up another high five ?

    • How could you be so cruel to the elderly?

      ….It’s just 2 old folks trying to hold each other up.

      Like to see how good you are at standing up when you get to that age. 🙂

      …I’m mid 30’s and I’m having trouble …though I am quite drunk.

      • When i get to that age I’ll still be getting the ladies wet.

        I’ll be pissing all over them and myself.

    • I can’t. I’m curious but o,brian enrages me so much that if I hear his voice I’ll be up for the next 2 hours thinking about how much I hate that cunt.

      …. there’s a reason he’s on lbc at lunchtime. Its so everyone has time to calm down and try to put the cuntitude behind them before they go to bed.

      I’ll try tomorrow mate, I can only imagine what shit this twat is spouting this time.

  18. i went to Glastonbury in 1990
    Happy Mondays, The Cure,James,Adamski,De La Soul all i can remember
    i arrived with no ticket and 90 pounds
    10 pound backhander to some security doris to get in and spent the other 80 on e’s and acid about 5 mins after entry
    didnt sleep for 3 days
    didnt have a shit for 3 days
    they didnt have it in 91 cos of all the trouble with the security/travellers
    i enjoyed it personally
    but the vibes were baaaaad maaaaaan
    never trust a new age traveller
    great drugs
    but unwashed smelly cunts
    like eavis and emily
    fucking muppet cunts

    • That sounds pretty good apart from the Cure and De La Soul.

      I went to the Big Day in Glasgow Green in 1990 just to see Adamski, but his equipment never turned up.
      Still, Big Country and Sheena Easton made up for that.
      Big Country were amazing live and Sheena Easton was gorgeous.
      It was a free gig so i cant complain.

      I also saw Big Country in Abington Park Northampton for free in 1996.

      That’s two Big Country gigs for free and i can honestly say they were one of the best live acts I’ve ever seen.

      • aye was never a massive fan of the cure but they headlined the saturday night so i guess i just watched
        that feenian cunt sinead o conner played the saturday too but i couldnt see when she was on
        in regards to de la soul all i remember is laughing at mud caked hippie/traveller/biker bods off their nuts dancing to a hip hop act
        it was fucking surreal to say the least
        and big country were/are ACE

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