Dead Pool [56]

Well, apparently Brian Matthew really IS dead this time, so congratulations to TheBournemouthRed who was the first to nominate him.

So the slate is wiped clean and nominations are now open for Dead Pool 56.

Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one):

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Nominations are now open on this post only. Good luck.

Fred West’s Nominations:

Clive James

Denis Norden

Bruce Forsyth

Leslie Philips

Jake LaMotta

64 thoughts on “Dead Pool [56]

      • Hi Dio, been trying to get half decent for decades. Love blues and jazz guitar but convinced my hands are too small for some of those chords.
        Maybe envy, who knows….

        • Have you listened to Chas’ stuff?
          Blues Merchant and New Tricks are especially bluesy albums – and they’re very popular in blues loving Portugal, Russia and Bulgaria apparently.

          Gather he’s working on “Return of the Blues Merchant” or whatever the fuck it ends up being called. Seems he played very briefly with John Mayall way back when as a fill in according to WikiPedia…

          Jazz chords are cunts. Hands too small? Get a guitar with a smaller neck and remember Tony Iommi only has 4 fingers and Jango Rhinehart only had two that worked.
          This one’s good and it’s cheap :

          The lead is crap. Throw it out. Sell the amp on eBay for £30 if you don’t need it and you get a decent Strat clone for around £70. That’s what Chas plays and it sounds OK to me. He bought it when they were flogging them off for £69.99 in a sale.

          Alternatively get some other cunt to play the rhythm and you play the lead?

  1. Leah Bracknell
    Freddie Starr
    Terry Jones
    Eberhard van der Laan
    Johnny Hallyday

  2. Stirling Moss
    Prince Edward the Duke of Kent
    “Cowboy” Bob Ellis
    Tommy Mair
    Tim Farron

  3. Oscar Pistorius
    Boy George
    Michael Barrymore
    Dick Dale
    Former Pope Benedict

  4. George Bush senior
    Peter Sutcliffe
    Ian Brady
    Robert Mugabe
    Charles Manson

    • Johnson took geldof I think?! although he spelt it cundorf… not sure if that counts try properly spelled names punters

      • It was indeed that bog trotting cunt. Can’t help myself not giving his proper name as he is a cunt.

  5. Sidney Poitier
    Iris Apfel
    Kenny Lynch
    Norman Tebbit
    Pam “fucking” Ayres

  6. Cor, I feel cheated. I have been nominating Brian Matthew for months. Oh well:

    Gerald Harper
    Bill Maynard
    Katie Boyle
    Fennella Fielding
    Desmond Morris

  7. Fuck me I’m pissed orn Fullers and single malts and already most orf me original noms have been filched by you bastards. Bollocks and bugger.

    Doris Day
    Ken Dodd
    Murray Walker
    Robert Mugabe
    Valery Giscard d’Estaing

  8. Fuck Mugabe has been snaffled. I shall have a punt on me old favourite

    Tony Bennett

    • Can’t believe the old cunt is still alive I hate that prick boring old cunt who moans on about his cock, and his italian mafiaso heritage. Musically good for New York or Vegas if your a brain dead idiot

    • Donald Trump isn’t going anywhere anytime soon now that the deep state has hold of him. I also know because CNN isn’t telling me how easy it is to break into the whitehouse and how the secret service got downgraded lol who knows tho stranger things have happened

  9. Billy Connolly
    Alex Salmond – Die Ya Cunt!
    George Soros
    John McCain
    Paul McCartney

  10. Jilly Cooper
    Camilla Parkyer-Bowels
    Andrew Windsor-Porchester
    Esther Rantzid
    J Kak Rowlinginit

  11. Congrats to TBR. Eventually.

    Art Garfunkel
    Bill Treacher
    John Noakes
    Petula Clark
    Bernard Cribbens

  12. Tony Pulis
    Lee Hughes
    Mark Clattenberg ( chokes on some Battenberg)
    Olivia Del Rio
    Peter North……………………………….Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

  13. Meat Loaf
    Cytheria (Squirt Queen)
    Steve McManaman
    Diego Maradona
    Arsene Wenger

  14. Dorothy Mengering, David Letterman’s mother is dead and J. Geils is dead, don’t think anyone had them it looks like

  15. Going for the double!
    Jimmy Armfield
    Prince Philip
    Yoko Ono (fucking bitch)
    Giorgio Armani
    John Williams

  16. Must be getting generous in me dotage. Me old nom Val Kilmer has finally admitted he has cancer or “recovering from cancer” as he puts it. Looks like anaemic shite. Well worth a punt people.

  17. Alberto Del Rio
    Paige (wwe wrestler)
    Jeremy Corbyn
    Hilary Clinton
    Barbara Bush

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