Dead Pool [54]

Congratulations to Bastard Well Bastard who has won Dead Pool 53 by picking the guitarist and voyeur Chuck Berry who has died aged 90. Women using restaurant toilets will be able to rest easy at last. So nominations are now open for Dead Pool 54.

Here are the rules (pay special attention to the first one):

1. Nominate who you think is the next cunt on the way out. You can have up to five choices. List your nominations in the comments of this post. It’s the current Dead Pool. Comments not in this post (e.g. in the previous one or other posts) will be ignored!

2. You win if your Cunt dies first.
Then the slate is wiped clean and we start again. Of course, you can always be a really annoying cunt and steal someone else’s dead cunt candidate from the previous pool (like Black and White Cunt frequently does).

Any cunt who tries to cheat by nominating the World’s Oldest Man or Woman is a cunt and will be ignored. Any anonymous cunt who can’t be bothered to make up a name for themselves will also be ignored. Oh, and the usual “Our Blog Our Rules” thing applies.

Nominations are now open on this post only. Good luck.

Fred West’s nominations:

Clive James
Denis Norden
Leslie Phillips
Bruce Forsyth
Brian Cant

 

 

63 thoughts on “Dead Pool [54]

  1. Eberhard van der Laan
    Johnny Hallyday
    Leah Bracknell
    Tony Booth
    Martin McGuinness

    • Sorry about that, Shaun – we were obviously both logged in to the dashboard at the same time!

      • No worries Fred.I half expected someone would beat me to it as I am the most inefficient mod of the late.Been trying to catch up on everything I missed when recovering from my operation.

    • Camilla Parkyer Bowels (for being…a Jilly Cooper lookalike)
      Jilly Cooper (for being a Camilla lookalike and self-appointed human sigmoidoscope to royal family)
      Diane Abbott
      Emma Twatson
      Joanne Kak Rowlinginit

  2. You beat me to the update Fred.Don`t worry deleted my one.I need to be quicker !

    • Check the Posts section in WP-Admin first. If someone has already started a post it might well show up in the Drafts section as WP autosaves it there even if you haven’t saved it yourself…

      Also if you’re posting a nom from comments check there first to see one of the others hasn’t already covered it

  3. Congrats to BWB…

    Dennis Waterman
    Hal Holbrook
    Graeme Garden
    Tim Brooke-Taylor
    Bill Oddie
    (The Deadies?)

  4. Only a cunt would pick the blessed Vera (beat me to it)

    Michael Heseltine
    Doris Day
    Big Ron Atkinson
    Shirley Williams
    Beardy Bollocks Branson (eaten by a shark while swimming off the coast of his private island)

    • I recall the story of Chuck in his dressing room backstage… He was eating a sandwich while getting a blowjob off some groupie… A young roadie/gopher puts hid head round the door and says, ‘You’re on Mr, Berry…’ To which, Chuck replied, ‘Aww! Hey, kid… At least let me finish my sandwich…’

  5. Angela Lansbury
    Maria Jimenez
    Maria Teresa Campos
    Joaquin Phoenix
    Terence Hill

    Chuck Berry perved on wimmin in toilets ?

    Never new that.

    • Yep sure did creepy fucker watching women shit big turds wonder if he had a special toilet cam installed hahahahahaha probably did while playing with his ding a ling lol

  6. Yeah well done Bastard Well Bastard you stole my nomination. Good fir you ya cunt.
    Little Richard
    Sir Bernard Ingham
    Brigette Bardot
    The Duke of Edinburgh
    Her Majesty the Queen.

  7. Her Majesty the Queen
    Duke of Edinburgh
    Brigit Bardoe
    Bernard Ingham
    Little Richard

    • Fuck, Duke of Edinburgh taken…..how fucking irritating. I’ll have Baroness Trumpington.

      • I stand with brigdet bardott she has spoken out against the filthy sacaren horde plaguing europe and has been fined abunch of times for saying mean words MEAN WORDS!! what a load of shite…. half witted fuckwits rule over us Cunters

  8. Pope Frances
    Roman Polanski
    Ginger Baker
    George Soros
    Madonna

    Same 5 good job vermin cunt er I mean Bastard Well Bastard …. Well how bout that cunters a bastard outsmarted a cunt lol

  9. Sidney Poitier
    Iris Apfel
    Kenny Lynch
    Norman Tebbit
    Pam “fucking” Ayres

  10. Only just realised I’d won, what a bastard!

    Bill Treacher
    Julie Goodyear
    Martin Landau
    Petula Clark
    Terry Jones

    • Landau was a top actor… Series 1 of Space 1999 was the dog’s bollocks… 2nd series was, sadly, shite… Best episode is ‘The End Of Eternity’ where Peter Bowles (against type) brilliantly plays a really sadisitc cunt…. It would have the snowfalkes and offence police twittermongs in meldown if it were shown now….

      • Loved series 1.
        Guardians of Piri.
        Force of Life.
        And the utterly terrifying (to an 8 year old and still freaks out a 48 year old a bit) Dragons Domain
        Season 2 can, and I quote “Suck the sweat from a dead man’s balls”

  11. Dick Dale
    Oscar Pistorius
    Boy George
    Michael Barrymore
    Former Pope Benedict

  12. My liver, due to having fuck all to do because of drink/unemployment, I want a fucking job, worked nearly all my life and I’m a able bodied white male age 40 who no fucker wants in Sunderland!

  13. Gordon Brown is hanging around again, a shite wind bag like Tony Cunt Blair, why don’t they both fuck off. Nobody could give a shit about these 2 smarmy turds, especially Blair. Get Jacob Rees-Mogg a go in the Prime minister hot seat. Rees-Mogg might kick arse in this country

  14. Arsene Wenger
    Tony Pulis
    Bradley Walsh
    Peter North
    Vanessa Del Rio
    R.I.P Chuck Berry…………….Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

  15. Stirling Moss
    Prince Edward, the Duke of Kent
    “Cowboy” Bob Ellis
    Tommy Mair
    Tim Farron

  16. Ricky Gervais
    Keith Chegwin
    Tim Westwood
    Robson Green
    James Blunt

    Usual annoying cunts please.

  17. Well done Mr B, nice work.

    This time around;
    Dobri Dobrev
    Clifton James
    William Coors
    Al Pillay
    George P Schultz

    Thanks

  18. 1. Ozzy Osborne
    2. Dennis skinner
    3. Bill Cosby
    4. Anthony Hopkins
    5. Tom Jones

  19. And if only I could have a sixth one, it would be that Smelly old tramp Bob Geldof.

  20. Keith Richards
    Buzz Aldrin
    Paul McCartney
    Jeremy Corbyn
    Nicola Sturgeon

    I think the last one will be assassinated, but I promise not to cheat and do it myself.

    • If you sort out the piano wire and logistics, I’ll do it cheap.

      Aw fuck it, I’ll do it for free.

  21. Meat Loaf
    Cytheria (Squirt Queen)
    Steve McManaman
    Diego Maradona
    Arsene Wenger

  22. Good job BWB. My usual five please:

    Tuheitia Paki
    Hone Harawira
    Titiwhai Harawira
    Winston Peters
    Sir Bob Jones

  23. Jane-arse has got Wenger,Theyre All Cunts…………………….Baaaaaaaaaaaaaah

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