The Messiah myth


The Jesus story predates erm Jesus and a similar story can be found in many other religions. In the world of theology now dominated by three major religions the view of Jesus vary widely. Religion v.1.0 believes Jesus to be a false messiah currently burning in a pit of excrement. Religion v.2.0 believe Jesus is our salvation and the only path to God. Religion v3.0 believe Jesus to be a prophet but denies his divinity and places him below the merchant, warrior with a fondness for the much much younger woman.

People who have made a life long study of esoteric mythology believe that Jesus represents the Sun of God and is indeed Sun worship, the Catholic Church stems from moon worshippers and Islam is worship of Saturn or indeed SATAN interesting stuff.

The only truth universal to all religions is that your God will help you if you help yourself and the more you help yourself the more your god will help you.

Nominated by: Sixdog Vomit

40 thoughts on “The Messiah myth

  1. Time to recunt the word “Islamophobia.” I nominated this shitty term back in January 2015 …

    … but if anything, it’s become even more widespread since then. How has this fucking word become so ubiquitous without even having an agreed definition? From the most thoughtful criticism to the most blatantly racist attack, everything is encompassed by this Orwellian term. Nothing but the profoundest respect – submission? – appears to satisfy some Islamists.

    If we are going to make up words, may I suggest:

    Islamofauxbia – deliberately contrived “outrage” about an old children’s cartoon designed to draw attention away from the violent actions of Islamists.

    Islamophobiaphobia – the fear of saying anything to upset Islamists.

    Islamodepression – the feeling experienced when seeing yet another news report about Islamist atrocities.

    Islamofatigue – feeling tired of hearing about Islam.

    Islamonausea – as above, but feeling sick instead of tired.

    Islamoexpertise – NOT gained by reading the Koran or attending an Islamic University like Caliph Al-Baghdadi but gained by reading odious Islamist-apologies in the Guardian and a couple of Wikipedia pages.

    Race – 19th century pseudoscience that divides Homo sapiens sapiens into groups based on superficial differences. Can be used by approved Muslims to shut down any criticism of Islam.

    Muslim (1) – follower of a Guardian/BBC approved version of the Islamic religion. Anyone self-identifying as a Muslim can only be considered as such if approved by Islamoexperts (see above).

    Muslim (2) – a “race” that includes everyone from blue-eyed, blonde-haired Bosnians to Sub-Saharan Africans. Only followers of the ideology of Islam can be members of this “race” and converting to this ideology changes your “race.” Apparently.

    Racism (1) – dislike of misogyny, homophobia, ethnic hatred and far right totalitarianism as practiced by Guardian/BBC approved Muslims. Or by non-approved twisters of Islam for that matter.

    Racism (2) – a condition suffered by all non-Muslims. Any racism practiced by Muslims people is not racism and accusing any Muslim of racism is racism.

    Feel free to add your own definitions, esteemed fellow cunters.

  2. God,Allah,Jehovah,e.t.c,e.t.c…………..same Lord,different names in different religions……..Baaaaaaaaaaaah

  3. Who exactly are we cunting here? I got up ,went to the cunting cupboard and it’s full of fucking theologians!!!

  4. Don’t forget hindus and buddhists who have fuck all to do with the big J and account for 22% of the population, only slightly less than the peaceful folk on 23%. The big one is still the big J worshipers with 32% but strangely the beaky bacon dodgers are a mere 0.2%. The good news is 16% are unbelievers, so there is hope yet.

  5. I had an epiphany last night.Jesus came to me in a vision. He used some very unsaviour-like language to tell me that I was a “fucking Godless heathen who would rue the day I was born”along with a load of other shit about my parentage,nationality,appearance and,rather tellingly,my intoxication.
    How was I know that our lord and saviour lived in a sleeping-bag behind the bus shelter when I was caught short while staggering home from sharing a bottle or two of poteen. Unfortunately the Son of God didn’t take well to a second baptism, and as his bearded,hairy countenance rose from the depths,the smell of sulphur and brimstone overcame me and I crapped myself.
    I know he was Jesus because he not only kept screaming his name,but his appearance was identical to the cunt in the pictures. I now know that Hades awaits me,but not before I chuck my soiled underwear at a passing vicar.
    Think I’ll give moslemism a shot,they might be a bit more forgiving than the “lord of mercy”” I met last night.

  6. All these non religious/non believer’s need a cunting.
    Not because you choose not to believe or choose to be non religious, but because you choose to shout the loudest and have to let everyone know about your non beliefs and shout down anyone who believes in ANYTHING religious. I personally couldn’t give a fuck what you believe in and I don’t want to force my beliefs on you as I believe most people who can think for themselves can make their own decisions. However don’t fucking talk to me like I am a thick cunt because I don’t follow what all these Scientists (who are always disagreeing on Subjects). Science is interesting and can explain a lot but not everything.

    • I wrote this on here a while ago,

      I wouldn’t say I am Christian, although that’s the Religion I identify mostly with. I believe in the Creator, who created every fucking thing. If you look at the world, at how we live on a planet the perfect distance from the Sun for life to survive and also how the human body is designed to survive and the complexities of ourselves I don’t understand how anyone can say there is no Creator. To all those ‘Big Bang’ science can explain everything cunts you can fuck right off. You expect me to believe that there was nothing then all of a sudden there was a big bang? Who enabled the big bang? Yeah thought so, you don’t know do you. To all the ‘If I can’t see it I don’t believe it’ cunts let me ask you do you believe in love. What is love? You can’t put love under a microscope and say it was when some Star formed years ago, fuck off. We as humans are cunts, as when we don’t understand something we can’t accept it, and we have to try to explain it. Some things cannot be explained, accept it and be grateful to be alive and here you cunts. Amen

      • Our planet wasn’t made to suit us, it happened the other way round.
        And may the blessings of the baby Jesus be with you.

      • Just because we don’t understand something is a piss poor excuse for believing in a creator. Better understanding of the multiverse and how it functions may point us in that direction it seems.

        Many physicists and mathematicians are peddling a theory we may actually exist inside a compute simulation. God indeed may be a teenage girl playing an advanced version of the SIMS.

        Back to religion, all religions are humanities creation, there is no religion that knows more about the reality of a creator then any of the cunters on here.

        An all powerful creator could speak to each of us directly if that was his wish. Would he leave it to the corrupt, festering piles of shit we know as organised religion to spread his word or given what we know about them would he trust them to do so?

        Love is a chemical reaction in the brain that can be programmed. Love can be as destructive as its partner hate, hate being an equally powerful and valid emotion. When you say love do you mean the love sold to us by Hollywood and the media? Love of a child? Love of a child promotes success of your genes and can then be viewed as an evolutionary device.

        Religion is one of the most divisive influences humanity faces and all religions actively promote themselves as being the only path to God.

        Going back to theology and Genesis the original interpretation is in the view that man was created in the image of the GODS plural.

      • Calm down ,calm down. I don’t believe in any theory put forward, but in the words of that little cunt Noel Gallagher” all we know is that we don’t know” i know it may seem weak quoting an OASIS song for this subject, but i think that’s about right…..

    • You say that non-religious people shout the loudest, but I’ve been haragued on the street,and even my own doorstep,by nutters spouting gibberish. If they choose to inflict their bullshit on me, of course I’ll shout them down.
      Fair do,you have your beliefs, and I respect that. However I don’t respect anyone who tries to force their beliefs or non-belief on anyone.

    • Quite right, what has science ever done for anyone? Not like religion which has given us war, poverty, ignorance and hate. Bravo religion.

  7. The labour party are cunts. By re-electing Corbyn they have effectively abdicated as the opposition.

    • Hopefully the Labour Party will split and we’ll have “The Labour Party” under Corbyn and some other party.

      I’m just trying think of what name that new party could use. I was thinking that “The Undemocratic Bunch of Liberal Blairite Wastrel Sore Loser Cunts” would be very fitting, even if it would cost a lot to get the banners printed.

      Still, at least Owen Smith will fade into obscurity, hopefully along with Gideon Osborne!

      Hey moany Labour Smith supporting loser cunts, apparently Jeremy is going to offer you all a free glass of wine today. It’s made from pure sour grapes. Enjoy, you back-stabbing, two-faced cunts!

    • I don’t believe in labour. Maybe we should start our own Cunters party, not really standing for much,but we’d be there to shout down all the other cunt parties when they talk the shit they do. Imagine us cunters in the commons shouting “no you never” ” no you won’t” yes you did fuck us over , rather than the absolute cunts who are mostly cordial to each other and probably fucking each other. I’m sure the country would see us as a bit of fresh air. And if they don’t like us we’ll just call them cunts.

      • I’ve done some awful things in my time,but even I haven’t plumbed the depths of depravity required to be an M.P.

        • Suppose you’re right Dick Fiddler,i never thought of the shame being an MP would bring. Thanks for reeling me back in…

        • Hold on a min. £75,000 a year plus expenses and I bet I could double that salary, for doing the square root of fuck all plus vat ,having no real responsibility ,hiring a 25 year old secretary with big tits who can’t wait to get into my M&S boxers ,,,and it’s beneath you? .[ the job and the secretary]
          I’ll do it for five years only ,after that it would disgust me .

          Like a rat up a drainpipe me

    • Yeah well, diane abbott is too fucking fat and ugly to be mary magadeline and I wouldn’t be surprised either.

      Labourites tend to revere corbyn as jesus, In fact many of his followers thought when Richard Branson took a dive in his biking accident that it was in fact divine retribution for the seat row with corbyn

  8. I tend to think in linear terms of cause and effect. Thinking outside the notion of time, maybe all that is, has always been and always will be. Perhaps we need to redefine the word God. God might be all and everything that there is; every atom, molecule and component parts thereof; the whole shebang including good and evil. All I need to know about God is that there is one by the definition of being all and everything and that I am not God. There is definitely a power greater than me out there and I have to accept that I don’t know because my understanding is finite. The biggest problem in our world is people believing they are greater than they are, speaking and acting on behalf of their god (for Mugabe it’s himself) and forcing their beliefs on others. All religions seem to have done this it’s just that the current worst offenders are Muslims and the politically correct ideological elite that defend them. All people I think are works in progress and the unformed, uninformed islamolabiacs (Muslim cunts) are trying to drag us back to the dark ages being judge and jury over every living thing. If all and everything is just the one thing there should be no difference or space between us. But these fuckers don’t recognise any spark of either humanity or the divine of anyone who is not a follower of the paedophile prophet. If we accept that both good and evil exist then it has to be evil for good to do nothing. The current vermiform manifestation of islam (or maybe it has always been like this) has to be overcome by any means to restore the equilibrium because the only thing these fuckers are surrendering to is doing what they want to the detriment of everybody else. They ain’t much more than reconstituted Ba’al worshippers. And there i go sounding like a Nazi but hey, its a fascist religion the CUNTS.

  9. Allah a moon God originally, had two sisters as well if memory serves me right. The reason for the crescent moon as an islamic symbol. Islam a combination of various parts of religions existing at the time of mo and a good dose of cuntishness when he realized people would listen to him and follow him. Early years when mussies small in numbers many of the verses (sura) contained nice things like no compulsion in religion etc. Once the mussie numbers increased and they became strong in the region, the tone of the verses becomes something like kill the kaffir, convert, pay the tax or die, cut of head etc. So mo was right clever he started a religio-political system based on his ideas and those purloined from other religions that suited him; by preaching that he was the only true prophet and getting his followers to believe him he was able to temper islam to benefit him. When the old cunt kicked the bucket his faction triumphed over the others and that is why we have all the shit we have today. Talk about paying for the sins of the fathers. Just a little addendum even the Mongols wanted rid of the muss and sent an envoy to talk to the european leaders of the time to see if an alliance was possible. European leaders too busy worrying about their own arses nothing came of the alliance which was about fucking normal even then. Not learned much have we?

Comments are closed.