Community speed watch


Now if anyone deserves a cunting it has to be those kind people with nothing better to do than harass the working community.

Lets take the most recent fatalities in my area, these were in fact Grey on Grey actions by the over 70’s in motor vehicles and did not involve speed just a blatant disregard for other road users, yet these are the same people who club together “for the good of the community” and stand by the road taking plates and sending out shity letters.

Cunts! We pay the police to do that shit!. More to the point we pay your pensions so fucking stop it! If you want to do something useful start litter picking expeditions or form euthanasia clubs and any way if you were so “up for it” where are you when it rains? Exactly half hearted busy bodies!

Nominated by: Lord Benny

I got a letter from one of these cunts. It went straight in the bin, although I did contemplate wiping my arse with it and sending it back!

Nominated by: Dioclese

10 thoughts on “Community speed watch

  1. now this is close to my heart,as I am a totally inconsiderate biker cunt,there is nothing I enjoy more than tearing through the stunning welsh country side,shattering the silence and getting way to close to cyclists on my 200 horse power Kawasaki[known as a[fly-by] it scares the crap out of them,i am now finding that there are crusty old codgers hiding in hedges and behind horse boxes with their cameras,the only saving grace is they can never read my super small number plate,so its all down to cunts like me that fellow cumts like yourselves have to put up with this crap,but there is a spark of joy you get from going through a little villlage from the dark ages at 3 times the speed limit and making all the windows rattle,as I said I am a 24k cunt on a bike and one day it will be my undoing,im ok in the car however so I can get on my soapbox if I’m in the car,its just something else for them to get pleasure from as they are spoiling someone elses fun and if they are really lucky may get someone into trouble.
    the shame of it is they are just as likely to have got someone on camera who is likely to turn around,come back and relieve said pensioner of the evidence and give them a black eye to boot,its sad that the police are happy to leave them to do the speed camera work in the back of beyond and will then take 2 hours to arrive when the oap,s get assaulted,i agree pick up litter or do some gardening but don’t lower yourselves to trying to be a gistapo bastard with a speed camera its your own fault for living next to a race track so blame yourselves you old cunts…..

  2. Start an internet rumor that any pensioner found working for the police even in a voluntary capacity will have their pension cut by up to 50% and if they are found to of made a mistake using the speed gun will have their driving licence revoked up until a time when they are able to take a full modern driving test, not the one they took where all you had to do to pass was turn up at the right office sober.

    The letters you get are printed look threatening/official but are worthless, the first one tells you to slow down and that if the community speed watch catch you three times in total the police will contact you to have a ‘word’.

    Lord Benny, you won’t see these busybody old cunts using the speed gun in the rain unless they have dementia, come to that you won’t see any actual real policemen using them in the rain either, the rain severely interferes with the readings and the range so the result is generally not admissible in court.

  3. Swerve toward them, mount the pavement and do the right thing.

    “I’m so, so, sorry officer; I thought they were terrorists pointing a gun at me.”

    It’ll never fly, but the mental image of the carnage puts me in a festive mood.

  4. Did the full nutty biker thing up until about five years ago, without having to dress like the Mighty Morphing fucking Power Rangers (you fucking sports bike cunts) no offense fuglyucker by the way, 110 plus mph in a T-shirt with cutoff patched denim, no gloves unless it’s winter, pisspot or open face helmet or a Kraut helmet if you can find one, wrap around shades, a fat joint on the go that might just pass as a rollup (no other way to ride), no carbon fibre shit or knee pads, just you and a chopped up ancient Suzuki GS750, Yamaha XS650, Kwaka Z650/900 or Honda CB650 Shitehawk with ape hanger handlebars and the next fucking pint at the next olde worlde pub or rally site. Stared Death himself straight in the eye many, MANY times but would not have missed a fucking second of it, not even for a seven figure lottery win. Calmed meself down for the sake of Mrs B, because she prefers me alive, thankfully. It’s not all about speed and never will be. These days I putter about on a prehistoric vintage Honda twin but at least I’m still riding. Do NOT constantly ride like a cunt on the Public Highway (the odd moment is OK), stick your hand in your wallet and do track days at Snetterton raceway or somewhere, I’ve been to too many funerals……

  5. Fucking middle lane hogging nimbys who think speed is the root of all evil. These busy-bodies are seld-styled little road nazis with no fucking training or power and I bet the real police are sick of them pestering every five mimutes with their worthless ‘evidence’.

    It’s imbeciles who pootle around with no situational awareness, cutting up roundabouts and frustrating the fuck out of people trying to get home from a day’s actual work that cause the fucking problems.

    I hope these nosey motherfuckers do send me a letter so I can hunt them down and stick that speed gun right up their wrinkly old arses.


  6. I came across a couple of these cunts on a rural road, they were on the verge just beyond my turn-off so, as I had already slowed down to take the corner I just waved at them and they smiled back. The cunts had thought it really clever to leave their coats and lunch boxes on the verge about 20 yards into the turn-off road that I took….in a position where they could not see their belongings. So, out of sight of the cunts, I stopped and went back to their belongings and filled the lunch box with a couple of ripe dog turds that some dog-walking cunt had not bothered to pick-up. I hope the community speed-watch cunts enjoyed their lunch. For good measure I popped another turd in the pocket of one of the cunts coats. The cunts have never been seen at that spot again….or anywhere in the area.

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