A guest post by Dead Pool winner, Sir Limply Stoke…
Ever since that pathetic Darling’s cunt in the headlights showing against wobbly arsed arch paedo Salmond in the last referendum debate, have been waiting for me blood pressure to come down long enough to get this out. Brown’s former bum boy let the jockey shite give him a kicking just before all the postal votes went orf. Handed the advantage to the jocko wanker gift wrapped and sealed with a nice wet kiss and a tongue up the arse. Beggers belief. Or does it?
Apart from his public school sexual inclination, why has Cameron bent over backwards to give Salmond every advantage possible – a long run up to the referendum, votes for the under 18s rabidly anti-English “Brave Heart” generation, any number orf financial guarantees, excluded the rest orf the country from such a fundamental decision making process that affects us all – the list is endless. And who has he left with the matches in a fucking gas filled room? The biggest shower orf shite on the planet, the Labour Party!
Correct. The “Better Together” campaign is being run in jockoland by labour party hacks while Cameron and his goons will not go near the place, content to let dumb cunts the likes orf Darling and Brown and Murphy fuck the campaign thus allowing Salmond and his Orcs to torch the place. There is no logic to this other than to destroy the bulwark orf Labour Party support in Westminster. In furtherance orf this blinkered political dodge the cunt Cameron and his wanking stooges are willing to destroy the Union. Buggers belief.
Once again there is no “Plan B” as the shite hits the fan other than to pour billions orf our money into rapacious jocko pockets in panic bribes as the cunts try to hold us to ransom. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Backs against the wall. Finest hour. Never surrender ect ect. Had a midnight war council with me faithful vulture Gristle, me butler and certain distinguished personages. Fortified with a few bottles orf me favourite whiskey (note spelling, as a patriot I am drinking Irish) it was agreed to issue the following communiqué:
Keep Calm and Fuck the Jockos
Sir Limply Takes Charge
- Hence forward the “Better Together” campaign will be rebranded as the “Fuck the Jockos” campaign.
- All transport out orf jockoland – road, air, rail, sea ect will be subject to one way toll charges.
- All “artistic” jocko cunts particularly rock musicians and alleged comedians will not be allowed south orf the border upon pain orf castration.
- The border north between Berwick upon Tweed and Gretna Green will be patrolled by Big Issue sellers and aggressive Romanian beggers.
- North orf the border the sale orf Mars Bars for personal use will be subject to swinging taxes.
- Any “cool” black dude or musician caught wearing a kilt will have his bollocks cut orf.
- Play the paedo card (no, not me you cunts). That bairn sucking greasy cheeked tosser Salmond will be outed immediately alongside the entire jocko legal profession.
- Any jocko cunt (subject to clause (3) above) allowed to work south orf the border will be subject to an extortionate Jocko Tax).
- All bribes including, but not limited to, those paid by way orf NHS subsidies, bank bailouts, infrastructure, propping up ailing industries, positive discrimination and diversification (parachuting in tens orf thousands orf government jobs filched from the rest orf the country), will be repaid immediately to the hard pressed British economy plus interest.
- All jocko women will be subject to an Ugly Cunt Tax unless a personal exemption is arranged with Sir Limply.
As a true patriot and defender orf the democratic ideals orf our once great nation I await your comments and suggestions. To those that may disagree, allow me to quote the stirring words orf Cleisthenes, the father orf Athenian democracy “You no like, then you fuck orf innit”.
As an addendum woke to the news that the Three Stooges Cameron, Milliband and Clegg were jockoland bound to plead to the sullen curs of that barbarous land not to throw their toys out orf the pram and stay in the Union for the sake orf all, world peace, their pensions and Christ knows what else. Deaf ears you cunts. The racist jocko shite balls hate us as much as I hate them.
Latest panic measure has Cameron’s arse licking touchy feely slime trail all over it. Cameron is the cunt that applogised to the Mau Mau torturer rapists in Kenya for what our lads did to THEM! And thus opened the door to zillions of compo payments landing on the sagging door mats orf the British tax payer.
Salmond and his ilk are bloated racist bigots who have got fat living orf the country they despise and the only way to deal with them is a firm “fuck orf jocko” and a boot to the bollocks. Otherwise they will wheedle all the cash that they can out of Cameron and cronies and then tell us to fuck orf anyway. Time for God’s Sake to call that preening cunt Salmond’s bluff once and for all. Only way to deal with the psychopathic blackmailer. Otherwise the “Independent Scotland” will continue to be kept afloat by hidden subsidies from the rest orf the UK.
Cameron says he will not resign in the event orf a “Yes” vote because he will be indespensible to the settling orf the many issues to be sorted in the years following. Cave in Cameron batting for Britain? Sooner marry me remaining wall eyed daughter orf to Salmond – revenge indeed if only the blustering cunt would have her.
Tinge orf regret only that the Stokes’ have had some fine hunt’n an’ shoot’n on land been in the family since the clearances (fine piece orf work that) and regard the humble crofters and ghillies almost as second cousins (which in some cases they probably are- amazing how that inward squint to the eye keeps coming through). Still, never one to dwell on the past. Raise me glass (Irish whiskey) to the New Scotland and a saltaire up the arse as the jockos gradually realise that the place orf the hated English has been taken by the chinkos and dodgy russkies. Well the First Minister has got to borrow money from somewhere.
A old soldier’s farewell and Fuck Orf to one and all say I.
0
In fairness to the Haggis Shaggers, they pay more tax into the UK pot than they ever get back spent on Scotland so you can appreciate them being a bit miffed. By comparison, it’s the other way around for the Welsh who pay out less than they get back.
On that basis, from an english point of view the best outcome would be if the Scots stayed and the Welsh fucked off. However, if I was a Scot then I’d be voting ‘Yes’ because I can;t see any reason why I wouldn’t.
Cameron and co are currently shitting themselves and Miliband is scared that if they vote Yes then any majority he gets in 2015 will be wiped out when all the Scottish Labour cunts leave Westminster. If they stay then England is fucked with a LieBore government and if they leave then any LieBore government will fall when they leave. We can ignore the LimpDumps because they’re going to vanish under the UKIP vote.
Either way, it’s a mess…
0
Point is Brave Heart, tax is an awfully misleading yardstick to judge profit and loss re Scotland/England and deliberately so. The fudge is compounded by the lumping in of the Scottish National Debt with that of England and so hey presto it vanishes. England has been propping up the Scottish economy for decades. Salmond’s modus operandi must be to take a leaf out orf Gordon Brown’s book and borrow and borrow and go on borrowing to fund the borrowing.
About one in three jobs in Scotland are taxpayer funded (ie English tax payer funded) and the welfare bill is enormous – pensions 13.3bn, healthcare 11bn, social security 8bn. Studies by the Institute of Fiscal Studies show that total public spending was approx 11% per capita higher in Scotland than in the UK as a whole (2011-2012).
In 2010 Scotland spent £62bn but only raised 45bn – a deficit of 17bn made up by the English tax sucker. I would emphasise that extracting these figures was like pulling hen’s teeth and poor old Gristle was pulling his feathers out in frustration. Again a deliberate difficulty to prevent us coming at the truth. I wager that there will be rioting in the streets when the true extent of the subsidies come to light.
0
Not as much a riot as a laugh riot when the sweaties figure out that in true labour fashion there is no more of other peoples money to spend.
Couple that with the statement from BP that there is fuck all oil left in the north sea and I predict massive civil unrest and a Mussolini-esq end for Salmond.
0
“Three Stooges”? Three Horsemen of the Apocalypse would have been abetter description…
0
I think I’ve said something like this before but I’ll say it again. Its a pity we couldn’t cut through the scottish borders and let bonnie wee Scotland float off into the sea and let it travel as close to the North Pole as possible. Och yaad hav ya independence then ya scotch cunts ! Fuck off and good riddence !
0
Anyone got a giant chain saw for the river Severn as well so we can push the Welsh across and make them the next state of America?
0
Id like to cunt Apple for the I watch
What the fuck?
With all the resources these cunts are supposed to have they produce something used by Dick Tracey in the 70s.
And what of the useless cunts camping out to say they are the first to have one. As most of these cunts dont look like they have seen a shower and soap for about 6 weeks no doubt the last millions Apple fondled on this latest invention was paid for these cunts to camp outside.
Surely no right minded individual would do so at unless they were paid royally?
0
The cunts who camp outside a shop overnight for a fucking watch are total bellends… I remember in the 90s that HMV (overpriced cunts) opened their store on Market Street, Manchester (said HMV is now closed. Oh dear. How sad. Never mind.) so people could by the new Oasis album (What’s The Story? Load Of Bollocks) at midnight. Anyone who goes into Mcr City Centre at midnight is fucking mad to start with. But to que up for a crap album, a Harry Potter book, or a bloody watch?! There are some real wankers out there…
As for the Apple watch, what sort of knob would wear that? I couldn’t go into my local Moston boozer with that on and live it down. Even though I can afford one I would never buy one…. It’s flash, it’s poncey, and the almost religious zeal that meets every new Apple product is sickening…
0
Consider it cunted, lads…
0
oi norman when a sooty see´s a hipster tool with his dr dre awsome headphones ,They must look like a lucky bag ! rip em open and get the goodies CUNTS
0
like kevin spacey getting mugged at midnight whilst jogging lol
0
Heard that in an effort to escape the male wankers in hoodies image their iPhones have Apple are going directlyfor the female market with the iVibrator.
0
Cameron says he will not resign in the event orf a “Yes” vote ?
Tough shit. Because the goggled eyed buttock roasting Etonian cunt will be kicked out in May 2015 anyway. Whether the Porridge Wogs go it alone or not….
0
Whilst I share your frustration and disappointment with Cameron, I can’t help thinking that electing Milicrap is just a vote for the country to be run by Dave Prentis and his Unison cunts. That would be worse than being run by Gordon Brown and look what a fucking disaster that was!
0
Ha!!!!! Porridge Wogs ……………. very funny and never heard that one before. Yes , let the Porridge Wogs fück orf out the Union and while we’re at it let’s castrate that kilt wearing cunt Sean Connery.
0
Ignore this cunt. He’s trolling anything I’m associated with. On the other hand, feel free to cunt him…
0
I’d rather ignore him, as he didn’t really express an opinion…..
0
I’m not seeing a downside to Jockland getting independence. We can then deport the lot of them. I also want to see a referendum for Liverpool’s independence, for the same reason.
0
If they got independence, nothing much would change. In Glasgow they would all get pissed as rats, forget why they got pissed in the morning and start fighting each other the next night.
Plenty of room in Scotland for a little more immigration though, the Welsh could be re-settled there on a permanent basis, along with all the illegal immigrants and ex-squaddies recruited as border patrols to shoot anything with an unintelligible accent that tried to cross the border.
0
Gary Neville is a cunt… This crap moustached gobshite should (along with the rest of The Class Of 92) shut the fuck up…
0
I’d like to cunt John Prescott.
This self-described “Proud Welshman” who has spent most of his life in England feels free to comment on how England should be governed, despite his insistence that “there is no such thing as English nationality”. Prescott, throughout his time in government and since then has been a leading advocate of devolution for the “regions” i.e. the effective abolition of one of Europe’s historic nations – England.
So despite not being born here he feels free to dictate how my nation is governed, and yet despite having made his life (and money) in England he is one of the most rabid Anglophobes in the land. In short, “Thumper” Prescott is a typical Celtic hypocrite – keen enough to leach off England when it suits, yet has a deep sense of loathing to the nation that has enriched him.
So my message to Prescott – and all of you Welsh, Scots and Irish living in my country – is to fuck the hell out of England. And if you do wish to continue living here, you keep your damn mouths shut and your heads down, you fucking Celtic Anglophobe cunts.
0
Dear Sweaty Socks, When and if, you finally sling your sweaty booze stained tartan hooks, please don’t forget to take mr anti~english andy fucking pandy shite tennis loser murray minty cunt face cunt with you, and dont forget all your half baked bent thieving and useless politicians. Kind Regards and good luck with your new found cuntry. Au Revoir you grotty pisshead tennants drinking Cunts.
0
Two words…Timothy henman.
Another two…English faggot!
0
Oh look, we have an Internet Tough Guy here!
0