Jury Room

Juries are cunts. DLT gets off on a majority verdict because apparently some jurors were concerned by the “lack of forensic evidence and corroborating witnesses”. Er, excuse me but do ANY sexual assaults take place in front of corroborating witnesses?

They seem to forget that the women who came forward were credible professional women (one was a school Head Teacher); they were not floozies looking to sell stories to the tabloids as DLT alleged (nice try, Dave, but you’re not that famous any more, you deluded cunt), they simply wanted to see justice done.

By the standards required of the 12 Cunts on this jury, Chief Nonce Savile would have been acquitted too for lack of forensic evidence (what the fuck do you expect after so many years?) and absence of corroborating witnesses. Fucking CUNTS.

Nominated by: Fred West

( I prefer the South African system. Sod the jury – just get a hanging judge. Ed. )

4 thoughts on “Juries

  1. So sory, me butler pushed the wrong button and send the uncorected version above. Corrected copy as fellows:

    Karl Lagerfeld

    From our fashion correspondent: Noted that the poncing piss pussy and Creative Director for Chanel, Karl Lagerfeld, has achieved the rag trade tour de force of his inimitable career. He has designed THE outfit for the total cunt and is pictured currently modeling the self same creation in Paris for fashionistas everywhere. You lucky people.

    Word on the street has it that the BIG PEOPLE at Channel were in an absolute tizz absolutely over who could or should model the epic smutter. Names in the frame included Elton John (but his bum would have looked too big), Simon Cowell (less arse but no class) and Prince Edward (but this is an exclusive show my dears and who hasn’t had that bit of Royal bum?).

    Call me a rancid old queen if you must be ever so wearisome but I have to go with the darling people at Channel on this one (you know where to send my free goody bags kissy kissy). Total Cunt is a collection that is divine in its inspiration and can only be presented to the public by the ultimate godhead of the genre. My dears I give you the very personification of Cunt Total, camp kraut Mr Karl Lagerfeld.


    • I am staggered this wanker has never been cunted. Consider the oversight corrected!

  2. Seeing that juries are made up of ordinary people who don’t have a criminal record chosen at random from the community you’re saying that ordinary people taken at random from the community who don’t have a record must all be cunts. You must be a bit of a stupid cunt yourself to come out with bullshit like that with a straight face. And I look forward to seeing you tell a jury that if you find yourself accused of something you deny one fine day.

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