Guaranteed to lose at least a stone in 24 hrs. C.A.

I would like to cunt a product called Movi-prep, for my fellow cunters who haven’t had the pleasure of this yet I will enlighten you.
Movi-prep is the chemical feast that you are given to clean you out before a colonoscapie.
So it begins with two sets of sachets that you mix into a whole litre of water and then drink, so it’s lemon flavoured slimy shit that makes you want to gag, but if you don’t keep it down, it won’t do it’s job and you can’t have your procedure done.
10 mins into holding this down, the stomach rumbling, gurgling, burping, farting starts, followed a quick carefull skip to the loo, so soon does your arse touch the seat, FUCKING WOOSH, the game begins, the whole world drops out of your arse, stuff I ate in 1985 arrived, you are literally wrung out like a fucking chamois leather, it’s like emptying an old radiator, the slightest move sparks it all off again, on the bog for 3 hours, then you stay close to the loo in the featal position just incase another shit attack is imminent, you can’t sleep just in case.
Day 2, 5 am another litre of Movi-prep, 20 minutes later rinse and repeat, it’s just liquid under pressure at this point, I’m losing the will to live, by now I’m just a costume of a man that can be hung on the back of a door.
The colonoscapie, that in all fairness was a doddle, compared to the fucking prep, once that’s done it’s time to eat, except now you have the fear that your arse may explode at any point, I’m scared to death of a sneeze or steps, or even getting in or out of the car….
Happy Xmass guys, preparation is everything….

Nominated by Fuglyucker.

It’s comforting to know that our hard-working MPs will once again be tucked up nice and warm in their homes for another winter, courtesy of UK taxpayers.

independent

Of course some of our pensioners won’t be so lucky now that our munificent government has taken the axe to the Winter Fuel Payment, after swearing blind before the general election that it wouldn’t.

Still, our suffering pensioners can heart from the fact that their sacrifice will enable old ‘TwoTierNeverHereFreeGear’ and his band of rogues to continue spending
billions on setting up illegal migrants in comfort, not to mention sending more billions in freebies abroad.

I’m just surprised that they didn’t do away with the £10 Christmas bonus while they were about it. Still, there’s always next year for that. All together now…

youtube

Nominated by Ron Knee.

Ignorant school drop-out Angela Rayner has only one area of expertise – dropping her knickers, boasting about getting pregnant at 15, her daughter carrying on the family tradition, and stealing the husband of Mrs. Tarry, then dropping him (the only one we know about). She is a coarse, vulgar whore, the sort of street woman that not that many years ago you could have “had” for a pound or thirty shillings in Portsmouth docks.

Why on earth then does Dame Kweer allow her to decimate the English countryside – the only bit of our heritage not ruined beyond repair by successive governments of both colours.

We all know why this scabby, bow legged raddled walking STD has been allowed to do it, and that is to provide housing for the illegal immigrants that have already arrived, and will continue to rise under the flabby faced brainless cunt of a Prime Minister, who with his greasy white makeup looks like an embalmed corpse.

Labour scum. I’d say fuck her, but far too many already have.

bbcnews

Nominated by W C Boggs.

is a cunt.

Congratulations to this young feller who’s just beaten all his competitors to win Fashion Awards Model Of The Year 2024. In a ceremony at the Royal Albert Hall, this young alphabet boy said, “No matter what anybody says around you, you are that bitch, and you will be that bitch, and you will be as successful as you want to be as long as you follow that.”

Oddly, he was wearing a dress, a Union Jack dress, so perhaps he was pretending to be a woman.

Well done to this gender-confused, young dude for having the courage to be able to walk down a catwalk better than his female colleagues.

What a load of bollocks – and I’m not talking about what this pervert tucks past his gooch every day when he plays hide the dinosaur.

He needn’t put a pair of knickers on his head to pretend he’s a cunt.

yahoo news

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous.

Are you avin a larf?

‘The BBC will not ‘tolerate behaviour that falls below the standards we expect’

Or so say BBC bosses. Apparently without irony.
This refers to the latest shit show where the behaviour of the ‘talent’ has been ignored and covered up for years. ( that odious little cunt Wallace.)

How many times can this fucking bloated, taxpayer funded shower of time – serving, overstaffed cunts get away with it?
It’s time Savile House was made to fund itself.

GB news

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble.