What joy it brought me to see this news item on Al Beeb. It seems 500 of these devices are being given away free so that Endies (surely only a matter of time before “endie” is used as an insult like Spaz or Flid..?) can advertise their mongitude* to the emergency services via a handy “contact card with key information.”

How I will cheer when some hairy-arsed fireman is confronted with one of these polyester knob sleeves (complete with “STOP! Look inside to keep me SAFE**” printed on it 48 point), removes the contact card and decides to call the dribbly’s social worker for advice on neurodivergence, rather than cutting the spazzer out of the wreckage before it carries out some sort of mongtastic Joan of Arc impression.

The sergeant quoted in the article explains she’s concerned her son, being an endie, is likely to “run off”; not if his legs are trapped in the mangled remains of the engine block, he’s not.

There may be vanishingly unlikely edge cases where the willy warmers have a small degree of utility, but I’m buggered if I can think of one offhand.

* I have an idea for a game show called “What’s wrong with the mong?” where celebrity favourites like Katie Price and Carol Vorderperson are paired with consultant paediatricians and have to guess what ails a variety of dribblies.

** I am mightily pissed off with this widespread belief in the fallacy that ‘things’ can keep you ‘safe.’ It’s a bag of horse tits put about by cunts who don’t understand what safety is.

BBC News

Nominated by: Gloria Snockers

A cunting for Westminster City Council, and a fuck off great pat on the back for a bit of common sense at this fine lady who stood up to those that wish to push their own version of the gender agenda.

This lady was hounded by the powers that be for simply stating words to the effect of ‘just because you have your cock and balls chopped off, you’re still a man….not having a cock and balls doesn’t automatically make you a woman’

Westminster city council didn’t quite see it that way, and were annoyed that this social worker lady had stated some common sense, so tried to shut her up by threatening her with disciplinary action leading to potentially the loss of her job she had been doing for 20 years.

In a very rare bit of good news on this front, the judge agreed that her opinion shouldn’t be ‘hushed up’ and awarded her £58k.

The council also received a timely bollocking.

A quote from the article: The social worker took Westminster City Council and Social Work England to an employer tribunal for harassment and discrimination and in January it ruled in her favour.

Well, fucking good for her I say.

kent online

A wake up call for these glass jawed snowflake cunts that seem to be running this country now.

Nominated by Chuff Chugger.

If ever Kweer Charmer breaks both arms, he need not worry about his lavatory arrangements. His arselicker in chief, camp as Xmas, limp-wristed poofter Streeting will be there to wipe the Prime Ministerial bum and insert a soothing suppository.

Streeting really is the Starmer mouthpiece – His Masters Voice who will say things Kweer himself hasn’t got the guts to say, for example:

So any of us who do not vote for that shit Suckdick Khan is not at all duckie in Streeting’s bent little world.

Streeting’s price for this invaluable service? – a safe Northern seat for his boyfriend/husband/cocksucker, bumboy Joe Dancey, another Londoner like Streeting himself. Strictly Come Dancey – who does the womens steps?

What a poisonous little fairy Streeting is.

Daily Fail

Nominated byW. C. Boggs.

Chroming – the next level of idiocy

From the morons who brought you happy slapping and vodka eyeballing, comes:

Chroming – this link says it all

dexerto.com

Are teenagers and students really so bored with their lives that they have to keep inventing these stupid “challenges” on social media? They really think that damaging their bodies to the point where their lives will be spent as vegetables or worse, killing themselves, is worth the risk? It says in the link above that one of the many risks is the lowering of your I.Q. – that’s at least one side-affect that isn’t going to be noticeable then. What a load of stupid cunts.

Nominated by Chunder Tunt.

A 62yr old woman from Scarborough,
Susan Johnson attended her local hospital for a routine scan.

On booking in Susan was told much to her consternation that she was in fact,…dead.

This came as some shock to Susan,
And she thought maybe it’d be best to seek a second opinion.

She contacted her GP who on looking into the matter and using state of the art medical science concluded that Susan wasn’t dead.

When it came to convincing the benefits department who had stopped her benefits she struggled to prove she was alive.

But now it appears to just have been a admin error and Susan is much happier to have her benefits reinstated and to know shes alive.

Poor Susan.
Bet she couldn’t sleep wondering if she was dead?

There should be a helpline you can phone to ask if your dead.

I’ve still got my doubts about Susan R.I.P

bbcnews

Nominated by Miserable northern cunt.