Clare Balding (5)

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Balding again. I really really can’t fucking stand the cunt. Along with all the BBC, C4, BT posh shit that of course naturally slithers into her heron sized gullet. Horses, Dogs, anything else she can boot someone else out for (Inverdale).

Todays trigger was accidentally tuning into and seeing the hideously posh future captains of industry and rapists of our world embarking on their monumental task of rowing up a river. A river! And who was there (and I knew instantly who it would be) to spit in my eye?. Desperate Dan again. Once again with her mock jolly hockey sticks banter and “I’m continuously amazed how wonderful it all is” delivery to accompany her disgusting whipped and lacquered Ray Mears quiff.

I’ll never rest easy till I see that cunts head on a spike in the bottom of my garden for the birds to feed on. I’ll chuck the rest out for the street foxes.

Nominated by Slinky Pinky

While I’m here, I want to nominate Clare Balding for a cunting. To say this man faced dyke is overexposed is like saying that Pepsi is a bit fizzy. In the past few months she’s been at the Lord Mayor’s parade, she’s been at the winter Olympics, she’s been at the boat race and now she’s presenting the commonwealth games. She even presented Crufts for fucks sake. Though that’s probably because she wasn’t allowed to compete. If some perv flopped his cock out in front of the BBC studio at Salford Quays, she’d be there presenting it. And it’s not just the fact she’s rarely off our TV’s, there’s also the fact that she’s presenting at events she knows fuck all about, and comes out with the most ridiculous and inane comments. The kind of comments that Naga Munchetty would consider intelligent.

It wouldn’t surprise me if she turned up at the World Cup. I’m pretty sure she’ll be in Tokyo for the 2020 Olympics. Though, considering muff diving is NOT an Olympic sport, she should be kept well away from the aquatics centre. Horse racing, that’s what she’s qualified to present. Her dad worked at one of the Queen’s stables and she was raised around horses. Apparently though, he had to quit because the grooms kept trying to feed her sugar cubes.

Clare Balding, get the fuck off my TV screen. You cunt.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw

The Customs Union

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The Customs Union requires cunting. Definition below:

‘A precondition of the customs union is that the European Commission negotiates for and on behalf of the Union as a whole in international trade deals such as the World Trade Organisation, rather than each member state negotiating individually.’

This is what is being forced on us by the Remoaners.

So – no UK trade deals and staying shackled to the EU. This is not a ‘Leave’ vote this is a betrayal of that vote.

The Customs Union is a bureaucratic nightmare of the EU’s making and staying in it is against the wishes of the majority and giving in to those that ‘know best’.

Fuck the Customs Union, fuck the EU and fuck the cunts who are bent on overturning the referendum.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

TSB

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Today’s cunt of the day award must go to Trustees Savings Bank Bank (that’s not a typo). Seems the cunts have made a complete balls up of implementing their shiny new computer system. Quel surprise!

I feel qualified to comment meaningfully on this one as I spent twenty plus years testing computer systems. I was the one who told the Passport Office that there was a real possibility their new system wouldn’t handle the load when it went live. Remember that fiasco? Well here we go again.

TSB like the HMPO were too tight fisted to spend the large amount of money it takes to buy load testing systems. Basically you hit the fucker with everything you have and see if it falls over. Which it did…

The bank says it has been operating many of its key systems from the new platforms for months already (e.g. cash machines, payment systems and a mobile app) and “nobody has even noticed – which is exactly how it should be”. Well they fucking well noticed this morning! Just like the British Airways T5 luggage handling system when that went live.

And TSB’s answer to the overload problem? Throttle access. If you can’t log in then just keep trying. So what does that achieve? Yes. You guessed it. It increases the demand, ups the load and makes it more likely to fall over. According to TSB this morning the problem is fixed. Well it isn’t, so don’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining!

And I’ve retired so don’t call me to sort it out. Cunts…

Nominated by Dioclese

Cunts with car alarms

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People who set their own car alarms off – constantly

I sit here this afternoon with a cacophony of fucking car alarms going off around me to the point that I was beginning to think that Vlad had detonated an EMP over Londonistan.

But alas no, looking out of the window I see the normal set of gormless cunts staring at their shitheap car in amazement that the horn is blaring – again! Surely, you would think, that they would have remembered that their crappy car had an alarm given that they set it off this morning, and yesterday -(three times) and the countless times before. Why does it take them 2 minutes to remember how to turn the cunt off? They set it off every day so you would have thought that muscle memory alone would do the trick by now?

This annoys me on a multitude of levels – the most burning of which is that these people are audibly shouting to the world that they are thick as dried out shit. The fact that they own a cuntwagon that not even the most desperate crack starved car thief would look twice at appears beside the point.

Anyway, I have just improved my neighbourhood popularity rating by shouting out of the front door for them to shut the fuck up.

Cunts.

Nominated by Proper Cunt

Mandy Richards

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Just as you think The monster raving loonies at The Momentum Party have scrapped the bottom of the barrel they prove us all wrong.

So what pile of cunt has this nest of vipers served up? Well those fairly conservative voters from the Conservative marginal seat of Worcester will now get the chance to give their vote, the one which was won at the cost of millions of lives in the defeat of a tyrannical regime where there were no votes, for the fantasist Mandy Richards.

This cunt is banned from bringing court actions without a judges permission after false and vexatious claims against;

MI5
MI6
The Met
Thames Water
Her gas, electricity and broadband provider
Royal Mail
Hackney Council
Her GP
The freeholder of her flat

Her claims were dismissed as ‘totally without merit’ and most of her defendants were granted restraint orders barring new claims.

Now then at this point I’m thinking ‘happen she’s a fruit cake’ but no it turns out her claims were dismissed ‘’because she was a black woman’’

It gets better, Richards was a Labour candadite in the 2016 London assembly election and when she failed to be selected brought a High Court petition to challenge the result.

In a 2 day hearing she said’state sponsored organised crime in the case had the potential to trigger a major national public scandal’ and forced 13 witnesses including the Flabbopotomus (her MP) to give evidence against her.

Sometimes, only sometimes Is it wrong to laugh at a complete nutter but this definitely isn’t one of those ocassions.

Fuck me even the Flabbot thinks she’s a filling short of a sandwich calling her an ‘obsessive’ and her claims ‘cannot be true’.

This cunt has also cost the British Taxpayer £500k in legal fees so I’m assuming she’s without work too.

Worcester today, Labour /Momentum Front Bench tomorrow. Richards as you’d expect, is a strong supporter of Comrade Corbyn.

Jesus fucking Christ…

Nominated by CuntyMcCuntface

Read this classic response from her in the local rag