Being male and especially being an IT nerd, I tend to be very focused and precise when it comes to information acquisition. By that I mean, 99% of the questions I ask can be answered with either a yes or no. Simple, easy and efficient. You’d think.

People who know me should know that. People who don’t are expected to get with the programme pretty quick because it is blatantly obvious. However, neither set of people seem to comprehend that I don’t have the time (or patience) to deal with their meandering and irrelevant drivel. For the sake of brevity, I present two typical examples, one from home and one from work. You decide who the cunt is.

Other half: I’m going to pop to the supermarket as we need a few things.
Me: OK. Would you like me to go with you?
Other half: Well I’ve made a list, but I think I might swing by that other store we went to that time, you remember, it’s next to the dry cleaners on the corner. I saw something online and it said they had some things on offer so, you never know. Where did I put my handbag? Think I’ll wear my heavier jacket as it’s cold and might rain. With slick roads you never know what the other idiots on the road will do. The other day as I was turning into our road, some moron just pulled out in front of me. It was all I could do to slam on the brakes and stop in time. What is wrong with people? Now where did I put that list? Can you think of anything else we need? I might make that fish dish later so I’ll need to add a few extra things to the list. Last time I made it I used cod, but I think I’ll try something different this time around. Fish has got so expensive. Do you know how much cod is these days? And salmon? The other week I was in….
Me: FFS!

Me: Can we meet at 10 tomorrow to go over your requirements for that server build?
Co-worker: I’ve got a meeting at 9, then I need to follow up with my manager about another project I’m working on.
Me: So does 10 work or not?
Co-worker: Did I send you the requirements for that server?
Me: Yes, but there’s a ton of detail missing that I’ll need in order to complete the build. Hence a meeting. Can you do 10?
Co-worker: What else do you need to know?
Me: Well that’s the point of the meeting really. Can you make that time?
Co-worker: I’ve sent you everything I have.
Me: OK, but I still need some additional details. Can we meet to discuss at 10 tomorrow?
Co-worker: We’ll need that server up and running by Friday.
Me: FFS!

Nominated by Imitation Yank.

A link on the subject provided by Cuntemall below.

youtube

Standing charges for energy.

While I’m at it.

I’ve just had by recent bill for the 31 days from 9/12 to 8/1, 20% of it was standing charges.

Now, Energy Companies will say that’s what you pay towards the maintenance of the network.
So, we not only pay overinflated prices for electricity, because your wind turbines didn’t whirl, but we also bear the costs of maintaining and expanding?

How’s fuck off sound?
Yurt in a wood, anyone?

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

Not the stuff itself, which is fantastic.

It’s the people who feel the need to explain the catchphrase.
“That Simon Cowell, he’s like Marmite.”

And that’s all the conversation needs.

Then the inevitable “you either love him or hate him!” usually accompanied by a simpering smile.
Yes, you know full-well that we all know the expression…why do feel the need to say it, you self-important prick?

Nominated by Thomas the cunt engine.

I start with a confession: I was always grateful to the Daily Express for it’s constant support for Leave in the UK referendum and it’s almost consistent support for Boris – one of the few political leaders – who – despite his faults (and we all have them) never took himself too seriously. The Daily Mail could be quite flaky in both those stories. As a result I often bought the paper, but in recent years it has become very greedy – the current cover price is £1.70 – this time last year it was £1.40, there have been three price rises in that time, of 10p each. These days I read it online (which is something you can’t do with the Mail – you have to pay a subscription). On the (very) rare occasions I buy a paper, it is The Telegraph, good solid journalism.

I say all the above to be fair – The Express is now a shadow of it’s former self, and more like a gossip magazine,

Let us take today, 13th January, – there are so many stories out there – Royal Mail stopping Saturday deliveries of second class mail, for example, if you want to be parochial – strangely just weeks after the government has sold the organisation to a Czech – I bet there was a bit of a deal done there. There are any number of stories about the current government and it’s clown of a leader. But this is one of the major stories today, all about a sad actress who died 45 years ago, and the biography mentioned in the article is eleven years old. Why bring this up today?. Meghan Markle only has to fart to provoke the “royal” story – every day. Then there are the constant Fred Smith on TV “everyone is saying the same thing” tripe, and the even worse “Lydia Dustbin interrupts Breakfast TV for sad announcement” – just to report that somebody has died, or there has been a major disaster somewhere. Of course a live TV “news” magazine (of a sort) would make such announcements. These headlines appear virtually every day.

What is the point now of Beaverbrook’s old newspaper?. The less said about it’s sister paper (The Daily Star) the better:

express

Nominated by W C Boggs.

Just Stop It!

Two Just Stop Oil activists have been arrested for vandelising the grave of Charles Darwin, in Westminster Abbey.

BBC News.

Both old enough to know better, they justified desecrating the grave on the grounds that ” Darwin would have been upset (by climate change) “.

Let me ask you this, ladies.
How would you feel if I went and spray-painted your parents gravestones with the words
” Climate change is a myth”?

Also, how did you get to Westminster Abbey from Derby and Rode? Ride there on your bikes, did you?

When will these daft biddies realise they’re just cannon fodder?

I hope they both like porridge.

It absolutely goes through me to have to refer to these muppets as “activists”, like they’re warriors in some kind of war.
Fuck that for a game of soldiers!

Nominated by : Jeezum Priest