Proof that you can take the boy out of the East End, but you can’t take the East End out of the boy (not snobbery I was born a Cockerney), comes with the much-tattooed, bearded, raddled, publicity-loving David “PLEASE give me a Knighthood, Guv” Beckham. The ageing footie star celebrated his 50th birthday this past weekend, along with his chavvy, skinny wife, a former poster model for famine relief, and all but one of their offspring. Dave’s problem is that he chose to have his knees-up, not in the East End hovel he came from, but a more upmarket area where the neighbours don’t appreciate all night karioke and hot dogs, and throwing up on the pavement, and they called the council who “advised” them on how to conduct their party (“shut up and fuck off”) I assume.

The silly bugger still thinks he is an entitled twenty year old footballer, and seeing how that is failing he is trying to turn his kids into little mini-me’s – I can’t see yoofs being as impressed by a little pansy called “Romeo” or “Cruz”, as they did with plain old Dave, in his pre-undercracker advertising days. They all have the same ugly tattoos and sense of entitlement. I suppose Dave and the missus are hoping the kids will look after them when they reach their dotage, which doesn’t look that far off now:

AOL.

Nominated by : W. C. Boggs

*EMERGENCY CUNTING*
(Held back for a few days to allow for the reporting of the Chagos Islands deal)

Sir Keir Sellout

Hands up if you think that our beloved (sic) PM Sir Keir Starmer is an utterly monumental cunt. Mmm let’s see now, Fifty million and one, fifty million and two…
Just when you thought that this Saturn-sized cockhead couldn’t turn into an even bigger cunt, he expands into one the size of Jupiter.

I’m sure you’ll all remember this gold-plated Remainer’s pathetic attempts to convince us that he was a born-again Brexiteer. Well anyone daft enough to fall for that will no doubt be disillusioned as the details of the deal to ‘reset’ our relations with the EU emerge.

For instance, there’s something called the Youth Mobility Scheme, a visa route for under-35s that will set the stage for millions of new migrants. It will be lauded as reciprocal of course, but there appears to be no cap on numbers, and who’d want to bet against there being many more arrivals on our shores than departures? Freedom of movement through the back door, it seems.

Then we’ll apparently see easier access to EU markets for UK food prducers. Good huh? Er… no. The UK will once more become bound by EU food standards, with the European Court of Justice holding sway.

Then there’s the question of fishing rights, a totemic issue during Brexit. European boats (esp French cunts) already have huge access to our waters, but Sir Surrender will now apparently give agreed access until 2038 to get this ‘reset’ over the line.

I venture to suggest that as more details emerge, the worse this deal will look, particularly once the small print is scrutinised. There doesn’t appear to be any deal on the return of migrants, for example, or any prospect of one. Our ability to negotiate trade deals with other countries, particularly the US, may well become more difficult. And again, we’ll become law-takers, and subject to ECJ jurisdiction, with no say in the creation of regulations. Still, Parliament will be able to rubber-stamp them, I suppose.

A new deal then? Looks more like the makings of a cave-in to me, and even more sinister, the start of Labour’s process to sneak us back into the EU. Arise Sir Keir Sellout, Order of the Supreme Cunt.

The Sun.

Editorial Addition by Night Admin:
Just when you thought the UK couldn’t run out of any more money, here’s a deal which nobody voted for that’ll cost the UK £101M per year for….wait for it….99 years.

BBC News.

The Times.

Nominated by : Ron Knee

The tourists that were robbed of £900 in broad daylight, were escorted back to the U.S. candy store shortly after to make sure they were refunded. A few days later, police returned & seized £80,000 worth of counterfeit, or unsafe goods. A council leader said “We have known for a long time that U.S. candy stores rip off customers, but charging £900 for two packets of sweets is a new low.” While the raid was in progress two shop assistants managed to disappear via a hidden panel in the basement, where a stash of illegal goods was also found in a secret room.
The seizures included a large haul of American food items, 30,000 cigarettes as well as 31,182 single use vapes, travel adapters & power banks. There are a number of these stores on Oxford Street, but not as many as there were pre 2000.

bbcnews

Nominate by Lord Scunthorpe, link by Sam Beau.

Not long ago I got back from the shops to find the wife playing the Beatles’ ‘White Album’. Again. This double album from the Fabs has been a source of amiable disagreement between us for years. She thinks it’s absolutely ace. I don’t.

Now let me say that my admiration for the Beatles is enormous. In that short period from 1963 to 1967, their influence, not just on music but on society and popular culture, was profound, and still resonates to this day. I think it no exaggeration to say that at their zenith, they were the four most famous people on the planet.

Unfortunately by 68, I reckon that the wheels were starting to come off the wagon for a variety of reasons (oh no, it’s Ono!). The breakup was underway, and it showed in the music, and no more so than on the ‘White Album’. There’s still the odd wonderful song; I’m thinking ‘Dear Prudence’, ‘Julia’, ‘Blackbird’. But there’s just too much stuff that by their standard, was plain poor. There’s too much second rate Lennon and Harrison, and McCartney was becoming increasingly irritating with naff nonsense like ‘Ob-la-di’, ‘Do It In the Road’ and the horrible ‘Honey Pie/Wild Honey Pie’. As for the likes of ‘Don’t Pass Me By’ and ‘Revolution 9’, well let’s not go there.

Nope, for me the writing was on the wall with the ‘White Album’. Sadly, it’s really simply not much cop. I think that George Martin was bang on when he said that they should have taken the best of the selection and put it out as a single album. It would have stood up so much better for my money.

There would be still be one last great hurrah in the form of ‘Abbey Road’, but that indefinable spark of greatness was dimming, and it’s very evident with the ‘White Album’. I’ll always love the Beatles. They brought joy into the life of a kid growing up in a miserable, bombed-out inner city slum in Birmingham, and I’ll always be listening to them. Just not to the ‘White Album’. It always makes me feel sad somehow.

youtube

Nominated by Ron Knee.

Anybody remember her then? For those of you struggling to put a face to the name, let me remind you. She’s one of those incredibly limited child performers who gained fame and fortune by having the amazing luck to be cast in the blockbuster ‘Harry Potter’ films.

Unfortunately for the rest of us, she’s let it all go to her (admittedly cute) little head, and like so many others, believes her bit of ‘celebrity’ entitles her to spout her views about the place, because we actually value her opinion.

She’s got her panties in a big twist with regards to the trans issue has little Emma. Cunters will of course be familiar with the recent Supreme Court ruling to the effect that the term ‘woman’ refers (stands back in amazement) to biological women only. Ergo, logically there will now be no cocks in frocks in women’s wards, prisons, changing rooms, toilets and sports competitions.

I’m convinced that as far as about 98% of the public is concerned, this ruling represents nothing more than the application of sheer common sense. Not our Em though, oh no. She apparently thinks the ruling means that the Blackshirts are on the march. ‘I like me best when I’m not ignoring fascism’ twitters the airhead . Yep, if you’re one of the level-headed vast majority, you’re a fascist. Just like the members of the Supreme Court. It’s the ultimate accolade that the left wokerati can hurl at anyone deemed not ‘progressive’ according to their thinking

Oh do pipe down and do yourself and the rest of us a favour. Just stick to the day job, even if you can’t actually do that with any degree of ability or with any degree of acclaim. In short, put a sock in it pipsqueak.

Daily Fail.

Nominated by : Ron Knee