A friend and I recently went for a snack in a nice little place in Crouch End.

It was great coffee and cake, but the experience was somewhat spoiled by the fact that my attention was constantly drawn to a large telly screen above the door. This was showing what appeared to be a lecture to a small group by that arsehole Gordon Ramsay. It was difficult to know what exactly was going on because there was no sound; in one sense a relief, because noisy distraction when eating out is a constant pain in the arse.

But I’m always puzzled as to what end proprietors of cafes, bars and restaurants feel is served by displaying a picture with no sound. Now fair enough; if there’s a football or cricket match on, you can see the score at top left and follow the play without the blessing(??) of commentary. But what in the name of fuck is the point of displaying a picture of (say) a film, or a music channel, without the sound? It’s just a completely irritating cunt.

On the way out, sheer curiosity compelled me to ask ‘the barista’ why the place was following this odd and annoying practice, to which I received the reply ‘boss say play picture’. I suspect that’s the closest I’ll ever get to a rational explanation on the matter. In the scheme of things it’s a minor cunt, but it’s a cunt all the same.

Nominated by Ron Knee

Philanthropy. My argument in a nutshell; a philanderer plays about with women. A philanthropist plays about with money.

George Soros played the market Black Wednesday. Made a billion dollars in a single day. Then gave a lot away. Was he embarrased? I suppose it’s a sort of redemption redeeming your investments and giving the money to what you consider good causes.

Warren Buffett gives his money aways as well. But he has a way of doing it so nonchalantly. He gave billions to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation without any stipulations. He didn’t seem to care.

And (by the way) isn’t there something obscene about one immensely rich man giving another immensely rich man immense amounts of money. Monopoly money.

Nominated by Miles Plastic

Misogynists are cunts

Why, well here goes, we now have poor Diane Abbott (a super cunt) complaining that there should be more funding for the police to tackle the “would be hate crime” of misogyny.

She doesn’t think the Police should have to prioritise their funds to take on serious crime rather than pulling in wolf whistlers.

Yes they need more funds I completely agree with her on that score but not for chasing “non crimes”

The like of already cunted Stella Creasy who is upping her profile on all this shit would do better routing out all the fucking illegal cunts who reside in her wonderful constituency of Walthamstow.

So back to the misogynist cunts, you have caused this fucking dilemma, do police chase you fuckers who upsetting these “poor” women or chase down the fucking cunts (from a particular country) who are grooming, raping and pimping out young vulnerable girls all over the north of England.

Or do we blame the likes of the real cunts, yes you know who I mean ….. the retard Abbott and Stella up her own arse Creasy for making such a fucking issue of this bullshit.

What a fucked up country we live in today!

Nominated by sick of it