A chemical-free-from additives cunting please for pompous midget Michael Gove, who fancies himself as the next PM of the Westminster Titanic.

Given the allegations over the weekend , which were embarrassing, you might think that he would have made his campaign launch low-key, but the daft-as-he looks arsehole is having none of that, and was in his full Ronnie Corbett mode this afternoon.

The idiot has no self-awareness, no shame and no imagination – he must realise that Boris has some very powerful and verbal friends -do we really want that cunt to become Mrs. May the Second?

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

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A Strike It Ducky, poolside with optional recreational drugs cunting please for ageing former queen of low rent TV, Michael Barrymore, who is still whining about his lack of success this century:

https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/780717/michael-barrymore-innocent-stuart-lubbock-death-party-piers-morgan-life-stories

Poor Micky – he has lost his *career* which consisted of making brain dead quiz shows for the old ITV network calculated to appeal to old ladies of both sexes who went to the studio in coach parties to clap on cue and eat chocolates and then watch themselves on the telly months later, before ITV became an oasis of non-stop Emmerdale Farm, Coronation Street and Simon Cowell overacting with a heap of cheap amateur talent. Hard luck – a young bloke lost his life, having been assaulted by various of Barrymore’s “artistic” friends , after being picked up in a cheap boozer and encouraged to take drugs and drink and take part in their fun and games – Barrymore’s wife was used in Barrymore’s cynical ploy to persuade his bosses and the public that he was as straight as the next bloke, by being his beard for decades and then got cast off when he realised the public would still accept his cheeky chappy act, iron or not . Like the swimming pool man, she too died a few years later. Two lives in their 30s and 40s lost compared to Barrymore’s stinking patronising cheap “career”?

Barrymore still has his health and strength, could presumably still work in cheap concert party entertainments at the end of the pier (the best place for him), and even had his gay secrets never became known (and they were only discovered when the daft piss artist blurted it out in one of his drunken interviews), TV has moved on in twenty years and there is no longer the budgets or the will (or the audience) to make weekly weak comedy quiz shows. Barrymore might as well shed a tear that The Golden Shot and Celebrity Squares and Play Your Cards Right and Take Your Pick all bit the dust decades ago and won’t be coming back.

He seems to be another self-entitled luvvie queen who thinks he has the right to be where he wants to be when he wants to be there, despite the fact that public taste changed long ago. The moaning, bloated minimally talented arsehole is waving at a parade that passed him by over twenty years ago. Sad for him, but nobody else.

You are looking your age now Barrymore, your naughty boy persona has been replaced by irritating pensioner moaner, your tired old jokes are even more decrepit than you yourself. Just shut the fuck up. You are yesterday’s man, thank goodness.

Nominated by Caught speeding

Weaves.

I cannot believe that I have been reduced to this, but the more I see them, the more fucking hilariously cuntish I find the concept of them.

There’s a lot of talk about ‘cultural appropriation’ these days – usually da big bad whitey man man pilfering select aspects of foreign cultures – yet the elephant in the room is just how utterly fucking ridiculous some of these black women look wearing these ill-fitting, borderline comical hairpieces.

Last Autumn, I found myself standing on a busy tube when I looked a few bodies down the aisle and saw a particularly attractive lady, presumably from the Carribbean – very beautiful face, perfect skin, lovely assets – and topped off with one of those awful, greasy-looking wigs which didn’t even match her fucking hairline. Why? Who in their right mind thinks this looks anyway decent?

I’ve been watching athletics the last few weeks and some of the women actually wear them during events – talk about fucking stupidly impractical – and last year, imagine the howls when a Nigerian long jumper had it fall off mid jump!

Even worse than the Instacunts who draw on Groucho Marx eyebrows in the deluded belief that it enhances their beauty – I give you the female rug-wearers who make the Hamlet advert guy from the 80s look respectable.

Nominated by The Empire Cunts Back

Nominated by Captain Cuntoff