I was born in the early 60s – which makes me a Generation X cunt. So my childhood mostly revolved around the 1970s.

Now everyone of a similar age always wax lyrical about the 70s – usually saying it was the best decade ever etc. And will then endorse that with all the usual positives that affirm what a great decade it was (for the record, you could include, heavy metal, punk rock, long hair, flares, Suzi Quatro, Chopper Bikes, TisWas, Old Grey Whistle Test, and other bollocks!)

So when us 70s cunts become old cunts in the here and now, you can bet your bottom dollar we will always bang on about the good old days! “Oh yeah, when I was a lad …. blah blah bleedin’ blah. Kids of today don’t know… blah blah blah….”

But when you look closely those so-called good old days weren’t so fucking good after all, and here’s why:-

militant unions, 3 day week and power cuts
sideburns and perms
platform shoes
pubs shutting at 10:30
shops closing on a Wednesday afternoon, and not at all on a Sunday
Shit TVs with just 3 channels and no remote controls
shocking tastes in fashion and interior design
British Leyland and their godawful rustbuckets and deathmobiles
double digit inflation and interest rates
Glam rock
Vesta ready made meals, that were fucking awful
Unsuspecting perverts and kiddy fiddlers galore
Joining the EEC

In fact the 70s was a pretty shit decade all in all; and yet we look back on it with some fondness. And I would guess older cunts would say similar for the 50s and 60s, and younger cunts for the 80s and 90s

But in truth, the “Good Old Days” never existed – only the best bits, and they were few and far between at that – just like Suzi Quatro’s tits.

Nominated by Technocunt

Mr Crackhead the drugs mule is literally that; a twat caught trying to smuggle coke under an unbelievably ridiculous and dodgy syrup.
The wassock was nabbed as he got off a flight from Columbia (where else?) at the appropriately named El-Prat airport in Barcelona. Security claimed that he ‘looked nervous’ as he got off the flight. Personally I think the fact that he had what resembled a large, dead rat perched suspiciously high on his bonce might have had more to do with it.
Upon detention, it was found that a half kilo of cocaine was stashed under the wig. Now it goes without saying that drug runners are cunts, but it takes a spectacular grade of cunt to try and get away with a wheeze as utterly inept as this.
It is to be assumed that Mr Crackhead will now be detained at the pleasure of the Spanish authorities for some time. Personally I wouldn’t bother with any of that; I’d just make the cunt eat the shit, then see if he thought drug running was such a good idea. That would never do though. After all, there’s the cunt’s ‘human rights’ to consider…

Nominated by Ron Knee

I nominate office collections for a cunting.

This is one of those things that starts off as a nice idea. Gladys is retiring after 35 years, and we want to get her a card and something to remember us by.
Unfortunately, it then it gets taken to the fucking extreme and you start having to have a ‘whip round’ because Jane’s split up with her boyfriend (for the umpteenth fucking time,) or Tim in accounts goldfish has died at the weekend and people come around asking for a couple of quid like a mafia protection racket…woe betide anyone who doesn’t want to pay.

I tend to keep quiet when these things go around and discreetly leave the room, mainly because I’m a tight bastard and don’t see why I should give someone money for doing their fucking job. Isn’t that what you get wages for??
Anyway it was found out that I hadn’t put money into the collection for someone. When I explained the reason was that I have only met them when they started and we’ve never said a word to each other because we work in different teams, you’d think I’d admitted to drowning kittens.

Bastards….every one of them

Nominated by The Final Cuntdown

Now, I know this has been done before but I’d like to give it a good cunting, purely because veganism at its very core is designed for cunts.

Now in my experience veganism is a twining leftie fad that is championed by those who wish to fight for free speech whilst forcing their eco terrorist agenda down people’s throats. It’s mindless hypocrisy at its worst, the fake meat boom being the cherry on top of the soy bean shitcake. How has it become a billion pound industry?
Because like all fads it panders to the weak to create an enclave of people who follow a shit agenda and use it to look down upon ordinary folk, whilst preaching how they’re helping the environment and make the world a better place. Yet I don’t see these companies sharing their wealth with those who need it. At least big corporations don’t pretend, we all know they’re greedy cunts. More than anything it’s the fake agenda that fucks me right off with these eco cunts.
Footnote being, when the winters start getting colder, my fat steak and knitted woolly jumper are gonna be keeping me a damn site warmer than their hemp sacks and veggie meat.

Cunts.

Nominated by GrandCuntRailRoad