An urgent nomination for Danny Polaris, who injected an erection enhancing drug into his todger before having sex. It has left him with an erection for the past two weeks.

He has been told that he may have to have his penis amputated and describes using the drug as “one of the worst decisions” of his life. Initially Polaris didn’t seek medical help. He went to Berlin Pride the following day with a wine cooler around his penis. Polaris had met a nurse on a night out, and when he was keen to inject the drug into his penis, Polaris was happy to oblige, assuming the nurse knew what he was doing. It turns out the cocktail of the drug called Alprostadil, the Viagra he’d taken earlier in the night and his HIV medication was a potentially deadly mix.

His friends have set up a GoFundMe page to raise money for things to “make Danny more comfortable”. His friends explain the money will go on things like: “A mobile phone (he had his basic Nokia phone stolen), drinks, snacks and alternative therapies like reiki and acupuncture to aid healing and for travel costs and passport renewal costs for his parents in case they need to come to Berlin to help him when he leaves hospital.”

He decided to make his story public in the hope of raising awareness and warn others of the dangers of taking unprescribed enhancers.
Yet another Darwin award contender. Cunt.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

I have yet to see a happy, healthy looking runner.

Pounding the living shit out of their lower joints, sweating like a bag of steaming piss, demonically red face like a smacked arse. Where’s the pleasure in this bizarre self-flagellation? Certainly not evident on their contorted features and their wobbly fat bodies are far from testament to the efficacy of their choice of health regime.

Most of these cunts will need new hips or knees (on the beleaguered NHS of course) before they’re done, as the overwhelming burden of conveying their corpulent carcasses along the carriageways of this country takes its inevitable toll. I walk my dog, at least twice a day, 20 minutes each time. Walk, mind – not run.

I’m fit and look happy, unlike any runner / jogger I see – Am I missing something here?

Nominated by Cunt Reviled

A nomination for the most recent Darwin Awards contender, Jamie Bisceglia, who decided to pose for a photo with an octopus attached to her stupid face, only for the creature to sink its sharp beak into her.

The animal, believed to be a Pacific red octopus, began by attaching its suckers to Bisceglia’s face, before sinking its sharp beak in. The idiot then waited two days before seeking medical attention (her that is, not the poor octopus).Bisceglia now realises that few will sympathise with her injuries, and that what she did was a mistake. The idiot also says she will never try and pose for a photo with an octopus again.

It’s certainly true, once bitten, twice shy. Cunt.

Nominated by Mystic Maven

A nomination for Rosanne Arquette, who has apologised for being white.

The insanity of celebrities is well known, the race to be right on and progressive gets ever more ridiculous, but Arquette has hit the peak of the shit pile. You can apologise for being a cunt Rosanna, but you can’t apologise for being white. It’s not a choice.

White privilege is a dangerous and illogical concept. You are a privileged cunt indeed, because of your wealth and fame, not because of your skin colour. What a silly little ageing tart you are.

The Hollywood actress apologised for being “born white,” saying she felt “shame” before locking down her Twitter account after a backlash.

“I’m sorry I was born white and privileged. It disgusts me. And I feel so much shame,” the Pulp Fiction actress tweeted on Wednesday.

Give away all your money and assets and try being poor and white, you vacuous tart.

Nominated by Sixdog Vomit

This fuckin’ organisation could be cunted for countless reasons, however, one thing I’d like to concentrate on is a report they’ve recently released. In it, it says that a plant-based diet can help fight climate change. Whilst they stop short of suggesting everyone becomes a veggie, like so many of these halfwits they rarely think of the consequences of their suggestions.

Whilst there is a degree of truth in what they say, if it were broadly adopted what would happen to all the sheep, cattle, pigs etc. on earth. They still need land, food etc. to exist. Are we going to have a mass cull of them all? The people who suggest this, would be the very same who would be horrified at the falling numbers and threat to the numerous species of livestock. Besides, Mr F would have to find new employment. May I suggest as a proof reader or translator where his grammatical skills could be used?

Would this really cut down on methane and harmful gases produced by cattle?

A great big cow’s fart to the UN, the cunts.

Nominated by Bertie Blunt Ubercunt