Perfume adverts…we are inundated with the fuckers.

But: they all look and sound the same. They all think they are showing us wonderful glamour to aspire to. And the truth is, not a single of them differentiates. Which makes the whole point of the huge expenditure wasted entirely. Spoofed up the wall by some pretentious, artistic cunts. Paid for by other pretentious artistic cunts.

It might just be me, but I cant recall a single product. Not one. And when I am reluctantly pushed into buying this overpriced shit, I get what I am told to get, which Mrs C has worn for years. So she isn’t influenced either.

What a load of wank, put out by poncy cunts and not having any effect whatsoever.

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble

Christmas telly is a load of steaming cunt….

Once it was Eric and Ernie, Steptoe and Son, Mike Yarwood, TOTP with proper bands, Del Boy and Rodders, A Bond film, Dave Allen (RIP), Stanley Baxter and Her Majesty.

Now? Mrs Brown’s Cunts, Call The (Black) Midwife, Gavin and fucking Stacey, some Femstapo CGI Disney shite, Miranda Horse Face, That Fleabag bollocks (Phoebe Waller Fucking Cunt), and Vicar of Cunting Dibley repeats. Oh, and Jools Holland and his bore-a-thon Cuntenanny….

The BBC can shove it up their fucking arse.

Nominated by Norman

The terrestrial telly offerings on Christmas Day is a total pile of cunt this year.

The prime slot here being the 7pm – 10pm slot where commercial channels try to flog us next year’s holiday in every bastard ad break and the AL-BEEB try to convince us that the Snow Queen is a wheelchair bound, lesbian, black, Muslim woman!

So here it is…

ABBC1: ‘Call the Midwife’ Xmas Special, ‘Gavin and fucking Stacy’ Xmas Special, ‘NeverEnders’ – for a bastard hour!

ABBC2: ‘Morecambe and Wise Christmas Montage’, ‘Celebrity (i.e. leftist cunts) University Challenge’ Xmas Special, Dolly fucking Parton documentary.

ITV: An hour of ‘Emmercunt’, an hour of ‘Cuntynation Street’,’Who Wants to be a Millionaire’.

CH4: ‘Christmas Bake-Off’, the fat-tongued cunt Jamie Oliver, ‘First Dates at Christmas’.

CH5: ‘Britain’s Favourite Xmas Song’ (two bastard hours of it), ‘The Two Ronnies Montage’.

Absolutely fuck all to watch! I mean ‘The Two Ronnies’ and ‘Morecambe and Wise’ stuff is great the first 1,000 times or so, but for fuck’s sake!

Apparently, the ‘Call the Midwife’ special is set in the Outer Hebrides. The show itself is set in the late 1950s and early 1960s, so no doubt the Outer Hebrides at that time will be jam-packed with multiculturalism, raspberries, crafty butchers, fishmongers and the local wimmenz vicar is a trans!

Utter pile of cunt!

Merry fucking Christmas!

Nominated by Rebel without a Cunt!

Fucking cunts to a man (and woman, and all those gender fuckwits in-between for that matter!) You’ll find these cunts in shops, supermarkets, cinemas, restaurants, high streets, car parks… in fact you’ll find these bastards almost anywhere in the public domain.

They’re easy to spot because they just dawdle, shuffle, or just stand in the middle of whatever, and generally get in the way of everyone else who are trying to get from Place A to Place B as quickly as possible.

Of course they’re usually found in supermarkets, blocking the aisles with their trolleys containing a pint of milk and a tin of dog food; if they’re not blocking the aisles on their own then they’re blocking the aisles chatting to another dawdling cunt, thus making it doubly-hard to get past these bastards.

But supermarket dawdlers are old hat now. Ever since the invention of the smartphone, we now have a new breed of dawdling, daydreaming cunt that you’ll find on the high street. Glued to their fucking phones, they’re totally oblivious to fellow pedestrians, and don’t even bother to look up before crossing a busy fucking road, shuffling along while they fuck about with their phones.

Add to that car drivers taking the piss at 15 mph in a 30, or 20 in a 40, or 50 in a 70.

What the fuck is wrong with these cunts? Why can’t they get a move on like everyone else and get the fuck out of the way?

Sick to death of getting stuck behind these bastards (young or old, they’re all dawdling cunts). If I had my way I’d set the dogs on the bastards: that’ll make them move!

Nominated by Technocunt

A “Hello sailor, are you looking for a good time?” Piccadilly Circus cunting please, for Jeffrey Epstein and Randy Andy’s ponce, Ghislaine Maxwell.

This ugly, leather-faced bitch procured young girls to satisfy these gentlemen, and given that the old whore is the daughter of the late Robert Maxwell, you can be sure she wasn’t doing it for charity. Her and her brother Kevin, he who was more sinned against than sinning because his dad bullied him, have always had an obscene taste for money and would take a fifty pence piece embedded in a dog turd in their teeth, such is the avarice inbred in them.

This old trollop was just as involved in her daddy’s dodgy business dealings as Kevin was, but has never had to face the consequences. She has a coating of Teflon just like Keith Jim Vaz and Anthony Blair has, and it makes you wonder who they pay to get it. Having outraged with their antics, they walk away from them unscathed.

I don’t think for a minute the scrubbers Maxwell obtained for her clients were aspiring nuns. Unless they were totally naive they must have known the “work” involved dropping their drawers and opening their legs, but Maxwell made it easier for the transactions to take place.

https://www.thesun.co.uk/news/10409906/prince-andrew-epstein-ghislaine-maxwell-palace/

Nominated by W. C. Boggs

Not so much James Bond himself or the old films, but the trailer for the new film is finally here and it’s as bad as expected, from what I can make out. Lots of little soundbites in it which are all different but one sticks out for all of us who happen to have the temerity to still be white and a man in 2019 :

“The world’s moved on 007.”

Cut straight to a tall black woman (probably a lesbian let’s face it) who it turns out is the new breed of spy, looks androgynous, short hair and threatening Bond if he has the audacity to get in her way.

Next scene cuts to the recently rebranded gay “Q” saying to Bond, “Oh, you aren’t dead.” I’m not sure if this Bond, or all old, white men that he is referring to, but I sooooo hope that in doing all of this that their key demographic votes with their feet and gives this a miss.

Even the cunt who plays Bond never misses an opportunity to virtue signal around wimminz issues, the utter cunt.

You play one of cinema’s greatest ever characters, so how about trying to retain some mystique? You wouldn’t catch Roger Moore, shit actor as he was, fannying around in the press about unsubstantiated rumours that some Z list actress once was told her dress was nice by a mean producer 25 years ago. No, instead he said that he wanted to step down as Bond because at his age at the time, it wasn’t appropriate to still be fucking around with young women, even when playing a part.

A true and dignified gentleman, without being a cunt about it.

And he invented the Magnum ice cream. Beat that, Millennial cunts.

Nominated by Cunt of the litter