I did a lot of travelling last weekend and forgot to bring a book so had a look in WH Smiths. Christ on a bike, what unmitigated shite these magazines are!. You’ve got the ones that cost about a quid and have cover stories like “My baby’s got two heads” or “My husband’s a ghost!”

And every issue is the Sex issue! Like no-one was doing it up until now. Then at the other end of the scale, you’ve got the ones that cost about four quid which tell you how to get a man, please a man and bin a man in the space of about ten pages.

Jesus wept! Who reads this shite? I thought lobotomies were illegal now. What a monumental sack of fetid cunt.

Nominated by: Mary Hinge