Well fuck me furrier and bugger me butler! Having benefited from a birth into the liberal social mores orf the landed aristocracy plus a public school education, I fancied meself pretty bullet proof when it came to the sexual predilections orf the vulgi ignobilis (common people cunts). Indeed as a callow youth I was schooled in the corrupt decadences orf pre war Berlin. So let them have their cake and fuck it I say. I am not shocked, no rather like Zola’s Gaston in Gigi I am merely bored. Bored that the flowering orf a few perversions amongst today’s spotty young tossers has been commandeered by the PC Diversity Brigade. Channel 4 documentaries and self serving charities abound me dears in what was once the preserve orf the public khazi and the sleazy room with stained beds rented by the hour.

In place orf a discrete cottage industry with a spot orf furtive wanking in women’s knickers or a pair orf dykes sharing a Coke bottle or some stiffy sporting jasper hobbling to work in a girdle and suspenders under his M&S suit, we now have a grant funded profession me dears with statistics and a whole new language to validate it. We are told that the yoof orf today is gender fluid or gender neutral and surfing on a sea orf non aligned sexuality that spans the gamut orf the gay, the straight and the bi-curious with one in two 18-24 year olds somewhere in the middle. Throw them a lifebelt I hear you say. Certainly but not until they have had the opportunity for a meaningful inner dialogue about their sexuality led by a very highly remunerated trans-co-gender life style facilitator. All this before we delve into the gay Muslim drag queen scene or the Gaysian Community.

In the prophetic words orf The Daily Fail, you could not make this up!

(Oh and do not fail to re-acquaint yourself dear reader with some more old friends orf this blog orf fun pictured therein)

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke