Pippa Middleton’s a cunt. I am not remotely interested in her life as a socialite or her tips for gracious living.

In fact, with a grandfather who worked down the pit, an uncle called Gary and a mother who made a living selling duty free Woodbines she’s not even posh at all. Her sister may be the next Queen but that is if she can beat the track record for recent royal marriages. I will give it ten years before she is either on Prozac like Diana or ripped to the tits on drink like Fergie.

Nominated by: Anthony Quinn