I’m nominating Philip Lee, Tory MP for Bracknell. Lee has just resigned as Justice Minister so that he can properly engage in the now Holy cause of stopping Brexit. Yes, Lee is that most tiresome of creatures, a remainer (Remainus Arseholeus in Latin). I don’t know how much time Lee spent considering his position, but it seems that while he was thinking about resigning, he forgot to tell his wife. She was there for the announcement, and by all accounts, she was more surprised than most.

During his resignation speech, Lee said;

“I am incredibly sad to have had to announce my resignation as a minister in Her Majesty’s Government so that I can better speak up for my constituents and country over how Brexit is currently being delivered.”

A curious thing to say, considering he’s a close friend of fellow remainer Dominic Grieve, and would love nothing more than to see Brexit killed off completely. I particularly like the bit about “speaking up for my constituents”. If he actually did that, he would have to change his mind on Brexit, because 53.9% of his constituents voted to leave the EU. Considering most MP’s couldn’t give a flying rat’s fuck about their constituents, I very much doubt he’ll be speaking up for anyone but himself.

Apparently, Lee has delusions of becoming the next Tory party leader, and curiously, a number of placards have suddenly appeared with his mug on them and the slogan; “Philip Lee, A Great British Hero”. Wait, what? A great British Hero? No, Philip. Winston Churchill was a Great British Hero. Horatio Nelson was a Great British Hero. What you are, is an anti-democratic turd. You’re a puffed, self-important twat. If you were a bird, you’d be a Great Tit! Actually, you already are a tit. There’s more chance of Usain Bolt smashing the world 100 metre record dressed in a spacesuit and stilettos than there is of Lee becoming Tory leader.

There is, potentially, a happy ending to this. It seems that he has upset his constituency Tory party, and they are now considering deselecting him. It won’t happen straight away, unfortunately, but come the next election, he almost certainly won’t be standing as the Tory candidate. That’s what you get for being a cunt.

Nominated by Quick Draw McGraw