I’d like to nominate Muhammed the prophet, aka Abū al-Qāsim Muḥammad ibn Abd Allāh ibn Abd al-Muṭṭalib ibn Hāshim, as a cunt.

Not because he raped an eight year old girl, as that’s pretty much par for the course for politico/religious types, but because I have to queue for half an hour at the fucking airport security in case one of his bum-boys wants to crash me into a skyscraper in his name, and cos I have to buy a half litre of water in the boarding area for two fucking quid, or stick a bottle under the dribbling piss-stained hot-water tap in the Luton airport bogs.

Nominated by: Silly Bercow