Firstly, is there any need for me to forcefeed myself upon the UK nation on every fucking TV programme, radio show and live event possible? No, I just do it cus I fucking love myself and you cunts need to see how fucking good I am. And because I can. And I’m such a cunt that if you’ve got a problem with it my mate the Queen, who I may add is nearly as much of a cunt as me, will fucking deport you to Cuntville, Cuntucky.
What makes me even more of a cunt is that I strut around giving it the biggun with my tight jeans showing off my not overly impressive package doing a load of charity fundraising, getting the public to donate all their cash to those African cunts who would rather walk 20 miles each way to the river rather than just build a fucking house closer (WTF?!), whilst stashing all my own cash off-shore away from HMRC so I can spend it on increasing my own cuntishness.
I don’t even want to be recognised as a cunt, I’m just so much of a cunt I can’t help but fucking nominate myself!
So, in summary, you can all vote for me as cunt of the fucking year or whatever this cuntyshit is, or I’ll fistfuck your daughters and shit in your biscuit barrel.
Nominated by: Gary Barlow OBE
Gary Barlow is indeed a top class cunt… A talentless, royalist, Tory voting knobhead who is alternately up either Simon Cowell or James Corden’s vast arses…
That prancing, poncing fruit, Robbie Williams is also a cunt. That Soccer Aid (someone should tell the mincing balloon it’s called football!) is a load of shite… Even if Williams plays shit and does fuck all (which he always does) and even if his ‘team’ loses the little shit always picks up the trophy on TV… What a self basting cunt!
Nominated by: Norman Whiteside
Gary, can you tell me why you sound like Dave from the Royal family?
Is it because you’re a tax dodging cunt?
Is it because you’re an Elton John loving queer penis fondling cunt?
Is it because you let cunty simian featured Plobby Williams back for good?
Is it because you’re mates with fat face Dave cunting Camo (the fat prick)?
Is it because you can write shit music endlessly?
Who knows. Who cares.
You’re just a cunt.
Nominated by: Hurling Dervish