This, an ad for Paco Rabanne
Well, I don’t know about you lot, but £55 for a scent?
No, me neither. Why do these brain dead people advertise on daytime TV?
Do they really think anyone of worth is watching ITV3 and thinking “Oh wow! There’s my next car?”
In fact, why are they advertising owt that costs more than £5k?
Someones missing a trick, here.
Del Boy Cars, one lady owner. No, it’s not a cut and shut.
Nominated by Jeezum Priest.
I cannot stand them. (They just can’t stand).
I’m not talking about a bit chunky, I’m mean these disgusting tubs of lard, waddling about in ski-pants with their shitty ass-crack on display, or, more usually, trundling around the food aisles of supermarkets in what resembles a three wheeled Tesla, sweating.
I instantly judge them, Oh yes I do. No, there’s nothing wrong with your metabolism, you’re just an ill-disciplined, lazy, useless waste of oxygen. You’re not ill (well you probably are, because you’re a disgusting, smelly, lazy, sweaty, whining, weak fat spazzer).
No, you do not defy Newton’s laws on the conservation of energy, it is not possible to expend more calories than you consume and gain weight, great rolling mounds of it
And these fat birds, that are trying to convince me I’m missing out because I refuse to shag them. Get to fck, you revolting bitch, no man in his right mind would touch you. They are usually covered in small, circular bruises, where people have been jabbing at her with a barge pole. You’d have to roll her in flour (if she doesn’t eat it) and aim for the damp patch, after strapping a plank to your arse so you don’t fall in, then suffer a life of regret. Be like throwing a sausage up the Channel tunnel.
For your delectation, dear reader.
Thomas, behave yourself.
Nominated by : Termujin
I love dogs – the four legged, tail wagging variety, but not some of the old dogs who pose as MP. Let’s take this old hag Owatemi (what a fine old English name!) she is a 41 year old Labourite, who has reached the government as a senior Treasury (!) minister, and the grasping fat-arsed greedy old cow is charging us £900 a year for her dog’s accommodation. Her landlord charges extra for dogs. The dog is a Cockapoo (which sounds like the state a man’s member would be in if he stuck it up Streeting’s capacious and overused arse), This old boiler works in the department that sanctioned the benefit cuts implemented by Richard lll this week. She looks a bit of a porker and lezzie to go with it – the sort of thing Lammy would have sired if he got together with Dawn Butler.
You will hunt in vain for any mention on the BBC, of course, so this will have to do:
Nominated by : W. C. Boggs
Cast your mind back to the heady days of the fall of the useless tories.
Labour celebrities were all over social media casting buckets of bile all over the conservatives “and quite right to, fucking cunts”.
Time for change, for the workers, the grown-ups are back in charge, etc,etc.
Now after a mere 9 months..”fuck me it feels like eternity” the Labour Party are going down quicker than lammy on a dropped chip.
But where is the celebrity outrage to policy’s on pensioners and the disabled being targeted..
That plastic hag vorderman must of melted on a radiator.
Fat reg must be spending his time holding his cavernous arsehole in place.
And who can forget Tony Robinson dancing to the polling station like a window licker..
Maybe he has a cunning plan?
Nope just the sound of crickets..
Oh please wise ones stick your heads above the parapet and anoint us with your wisdom.. or better still keep your bovine opinions to yourselves.
Here is baldrick the dancing fool.
Nominated by : Barry zuckercunt
A New Balls Please, 15 love cunting for the queen (she thinks) of the tennis court Ms Raducanu.
A publicity hungry victim. She loses a match – some nasty man in the audience was leering at her. She loses another match – she wasn’t feeling frightfully well, she loses another match – her trainer forgot to put her jockstrap on her. Another loss – injury this time.
When she wins it is all teeth and tonsils. When she loses it is illness, injury or some malfunction of the weather. She has been through almost as many coaches as Dirty Ange has ben through dicks. Call the doctor again – she is a little wan:
Nominated by W C Boggs.