Boxing Day Sales

Have we not got enough shit already?

Cunts queue up like like brainwashed amoeba at the doors of the foul bastions of consumerism at 6 a.m. to buy useless unnecessary crap that they don’t need with money they don’t have all to impress people they don’t like.

What a proper cuntfest, brain dead fuckwits.

Nominated by Dick Byrne

Temporary Homeless Christmas Sympathy.

From the Socialist Broadcasting Company (aka BBC):

-Homeless tuck into Christmas dinner at Euston Station
-A theatre in Plymouth is opening its doors to offer homeless people a place to stay. Locals have decorated the foyer of the Palace Theatre and donated practical items like coats, shoes, blankets and jumpers.
-Westlode Fisheries in Spalding, Lincolnshire, is opening on Christmas Day between 13:00 GMT and 15:00 GMT offering free hot meals for the “homeless, elderly or people who are struggling this Christmas”.
-Burnley’s Muscle Factory gym is opening at lunchtime offering shelter, food and haircuts so that “no one should feel alone on Christmas Day”.

First of all, there are actually a lot of homeless people who want to be homeless, or just can’t live a stable life, for whatever reason, not all, but some, if not a lot.

Now that FACT (fucking sympathy junkies) is out of the way, what the hell good is it to feed someone for 1 day apart from to make yourself feel better.

In the above example from the British Broadcasting Communists: “Burnley’s Muscle Factory gym is opening at lunchtime offering shelter, food and haircuts so that “no one should feel alone on Christmas Day”.”, But they can get fucked every other day of the year right?

If these tossers actually want to help people (which they fucking don’t), how about letting them live in your house? How about not spending your whole life feverishly worrying about the housing ladder so the prices are fucked because, let’s face facts, you and your family come first right?

Yeah toss some losers you couldn’t give 2 fucks about a few crumbs – that will make up for a lifetime of middle class self-deluded greed and ignorance won’t it cunt-face.

Did I say cunts?

Nominated by Cunting Rank Wags

Christmas [25] – Open thread

The lesson today is taken from the New Testament, 2017 p.c. edition…

  1. And it came to pass that Mary, wife of Joseph, a lower-income benefit claimant from a disadvantaged family, was with child. And Joseph was sorely displeased and giveth unto his wife a backhander
  2. And he sayeth unto her “How art thou with child, bitch, when thou hast not parted thy legs for me since we was espoused, init?”
  3. And Mary did quiver, and replieth “An angel came unto me in a vision and sayeth that I was to be impregnated with God’s child and that he would come forth in the world to end all our sins and his birth would be foretold by a great star and gifts from three kings”
  4. And Joseph did take another swig from his Stella and giveth unto her another backhander, saying “That’s the biggest bullshit I hast ever heard! This is the only fucking Stella event you are likely to see, you lying bitch”
  5. But Mary wast not afraid, having the strength of the Lawed upon her. And she sayeth unto Joseph “I will take myself unto social services and wilst have thou arrested, thou heinous pig”
  6. And so it came to pass that Mary was rehoused in temporary accomodation in the East End and Joseph was servethed a restraining order.
  7. And so it was that on December 24th, Mary didst recieve a threatening letter from the landlord saying “I have re-rented thy flat so begone from here tonight, whore, or I shall breaketh thine legs”
  8. And so Mary went forth into the night. And it came to pass that she stumbleth upon a homeless person and he taketh pity upon her, saying “Come unto mine squat in a nearby old stables where thou mighst findeth comfort in thine hour of need”
  9. And at this moment, a great star burst didst appear over her head. “Taketh no notice,” sayeth her benefactor. “‘Tis only the bloody locals celebrating diwali” 
  10. And Mary went with him and as she entereth the stable her waters didst break and she goeth into labour.
  11. And in the early hours Mary didst give birth unto a boy child, amongst great cries of pain and loss of much blood. And the child was laid in a manger for a bed
  12. And three men didst appear in the doorway, fresh home from a party, and each weareth a paper crown on his head. And Mary did behold them and sayeth “I see three kings!”
  13. And the first sayeth “Shit, girl, you been through it, ain’tcha? Have a swig of this..” and didst give unto her his bottle of Castlemaine Gold.
  14. And the second sayeth unto her “I have nothing to give you but a few foreign coins” and handed her a Franc and some Cents
  15. And the third sayeth unto her “Ah eh! I’ve nought for you, gerly, for I am only a poor scouser and am in a right state. Look. Even me hurr falleth out”
  16. And so it came to pass that the prophecy was fulfilled. A child with no father was born in a manger, under a star burst, and 3 kings from the East End had brought gifts of Gold, Francs and Cents, and Hurr.
  17. And the donkey in the corner brayeth “Eee Ore! It’s a fuckin’ miracle…”

Here endeth the lesson.

We shall now sing hymn 123 “We three kings from Orient are; One on a scooter, two in a car.” All rise…

(Shamelessly nicked from Dioclese’s blog)

Elf on the Shelf

“Elf on the Shelf” is a cunt.

Don’t know what it is but I’m hearing it everywhere.
I don’t know that if I understood it I would be cunting it, but right now I am.

Nominated by Birdman

Elf on the fucking Shelf (yes there really is one featuring ‘naughty’ elves) is “a marketing juggernaut dressed up as a tradition” whose purpose is “to spy on kids” and that one shouldn’t “bully your child into thinking that good behaviour equals gifts” says The Atlantic columnist Kate Tuttle in the USA.

Washington Post reviewer Hank Stuever characterized the concept as “just another nannycam in a nanny state obsessed with penal codes”.

Professor Laura Pinto suggests that it conditions kids to accept the surveillance state and that it communicates to children that “it’s okay for other people to spy on you, and you’re not entitled to privacy.” She argues that “if you grow up thinking it’s cool for the elves to watch me and report back to Santa, well, then it’s cool for the NSA to watch me and report back to the government … The rule of play is that kids get to interact with a doll or video game or what have you, but not so with the Elf on the Shelf: The rule is that you don’t touch the elf. Think about the message that sends.”

Basically you buy this piece of shit at Thanksgiving (that’s the day we all sit around in the UK drinking heavily and thinking ‘Thank fuck for 1776 when we got rid of these cunts’). You then move it around the house each day pretending that Santa has sent it to make sure your kids are good in the run up to Christmas. So it’s OK for your brat to be a total cunt the rest of the year, is it?

Take a look at Amazon (another American crock of crap) where there are no less than 1,284 items exploiting this ‘tradition’. They come in all colours too – white, brown, black, yellow. As one cunter observed “Since when were Santa’s elves brown fuckers?”

But the last word goes to one canny mother on MumsNet : “I’ve got enough to do without moving some stupid toy elf around the house every day!

Nominated by Dioclese

Christ on a fucking bike! I simply refuse to believe that this elf on a fucking shelf cuntishness exists, surely it is a joke?

You would have to be some sort of monumental, sans taste, council estate dwelling thick as pigshit cunt to part with your hard earned on this pile of cunt.

A product for the tasteless tacky human vermin if ever there was one. How fucking depressing.

Nominated by Dick Byrne

Houses covered in Christmas Lights

Houses covered in Christmas Lights are a cunt.

True to form,these cunting eyesores have started appearing in the less salubrious parts of Bristol,ironic when you consider the price of electricity these days – probably being run off the neighbours supply in most cases. What is the fucking point?. I saw one that had a giant inflatable Santa on the roof swinging a sack. The cunt must have been visible from Space.

Nominated by Mary Hinge