Gary Lineker (17) – Landlord of the Refugee

Is it possible that this cunt could be any more of a cunt than everybody knows he already is?

Well, yes actually! The alleged Tax-dodger has been bragging about how he’s going to take yet another poor refugee into his mansion.

You remember the first one don’t you? The one who left a letter for St Gary thanking him for his saintliness written in perfect English with the kind of handwriting which you only find in English public schools. Not that i’m suggesting that some posh cunt at the BBC wrote it. Oh no, not me.

Anyway Gary doesn’t understand why us Nazis don’t like the poor refugees who have “been bombed and risking their lives crossing the Channel in dinghies.” Sorry, who the fuck is bombing them in France Gary? I bet it’s that cunt Macron innit? Tell us all about it Gary…..I can’t wait to hear your grasp on geo politics you fucking genius.

What a fucking wanker.

Nominated by: Freddie the Frog

Helpful link provided by: Cuntybollocks

News Link

“Thanks for Having Me!”

Another vocal viral infection from yankland to work alongside “That’s a great question’. Arrived via American TV news and soon spread on the vacuous UK 24/7 TV News cycle. Works as below.

In this example news is broken of the latest atrocities in Palmyra Syria by the spectacularly brutal Russian mercenaries known as the Wagner Group led by one Yevgeny Prigozhin, a close mucker of Comrade Putin. Yevgeny is wearing full military fatigues and a gentle smile while a hatchet faced News Bimbo with dark roots left fashionably showing through her blond dye job puts him to the question.

News Bimbo (appalled): “Yevgeny Prigozhin – there is cell phone footage circulating of your men under your command beating a Syrian civilian then taking a sledgehammer to his bollocks and then decapitating him, pouring petrol over his body and then setting light to it while they pose for selfies. How can you possibly justify such depraved violation of a human being before you hacked his head off?”

Yevgeny (totally unfazed and smiling politely) “Thank you for having me.”

Phrase sound familiar? Drummed into one by the mater as GOOD MANNERS.

Remember that in the ‘50s? Adolescent parties where the parents would retreat for the evening and leave the house to their Little Johnny and his friends. Would only do it if their Little Johnny had no friends as a bribe to find him some chums.

Always a good reason why L J had problems in the human interface department and was considered a sneak and a wanker. (Yours Truly was never allowed parties at home except in the Deb season).

Debs? You low brow cunts. Debs or debutants are spiffingly fragrant young gels of an age to hook a fine young man of refined breeding. Hormones Cunters. In short a high class marriage mart.

To continue. Little Johnny’s mum gets on the blower to the the other mums or sends fragrant little notelets out to those without blowers (this is the ’50s). RSVP donchaknow.

Sure as eggs is eggs word gets out to more unsavoury quarters. You remember those boys at Prep. Lumsden with the pink wobbly arse, not safe in the showers with him. The Grice twins forever in a brotherly embrace. Spots, the big lad covered in acne whose brows meet in the middle and forever wanking into his desk when Miss Brooks was teaching. Oh yes Best Days of your life.

End a long story Little Johnny lets ‘em all in, too scared not to including half the Hells Angels, South London Chapter. Needless all sorts of shenanigans take place. Grice Twins bollock wrestling in the bathroom, Angels drinking the old man’s spirits and pissing all over the carpet – to be fair cannot get in the khazi due to the Grice Twins sporting contest. Some HooRays go around the place ripping up the cushions and pillows aided by the Angels and for our supporters of the LGBT Community (unknown then) Little Johnny comes out as a raving woofter and proves it.

Then LJ decides it’s time to liven up the party and starts playing his parents Edmundo Ross 78s and a conga line soon forms (we did that sort of thing in the ‘50s) led by Yours Truly right up to the mater’s knicker draw. ‘50s knickers were very frilly. Shoot your load and vacate space for the next fellow was the form. Came the return of The Parents and time to stiffen and bow like a good little man, deliver the line good manners to fuck orf sharpish.

“Thank you for having me” or at least that’s how I remember it.

Please note absolutely no resemblance to any individuals living or cacked implied or intended

News Link

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

 

Mealy Mouthed Public Information Posters

To explain, in the last few weeks I have noticed certain posters appearing in public spaces, like the railway station and shopping centre. They seem to be giving someone a vague telling off about something or other.

There is one version that says it is sexual harassment to stare at somebody and therefore make them feel uncomfortable, the other one says that unsolicited and unwanted touching is sexual harassment.

I can’t say that any of the men I know would struggle with those concepts, and indeed the average British man must now be completely terrified of interacting in any way with females he doesn’t know, in case the full weight of the law falls upon him for having the temerity to hold a door open, or to say he likes someone’s hair.

I cannot help thinking that these posters are aimed at recent arrivals to the country but the authors of this artwork will not wish to have that discussion. Instead we all have to be chastened and must think about what we might have done, like three year olds who have wet ourselves, whilst the public information campaign goes right over the heads of those it is aimed at.

What a festering bag of old cunt.

Nominated by: Mary Hinge

Helpful Link provided by: MiddleEngland 

News Link

Terrorism or Mental Health?

Another attack by a ‘refugee/asylum seeker, it’s becoming normal occurrence, this one seems to have been a real complicated cunt.

The Liverpool taxi bomber has been named as 32 year old (Emad Jamil Al-Swealmeen, raised in Iraq), well it looks like he had two names so who knows (the link has both)

Syrian or Iraqi, take you pick, converted to Catholic, probably because he was refused asylum being arrested for carrying a knife and being sectioned under the mental health act.

We don’t hear to much about incidents in Europe unless they are.high profile but I did see a couple in the last week or so, one was a Syrian refugee who started knifing people on a train in Germany.

I can see this getting worse with all the cunts rocking up on the south coast, with Priti Patel sitting on her fucking hands (must be painful with that fat arse).

The cunt was supported by the Christian community but as we know you can take the tiger out the jungle but not the jungle out of the tiger.

They are all cunts, how the fuck can you trust any of them, it’s like Russian roulette

Daily Mail News Link

Nominated by: Sick of It

(You just know its probably going to be a mental health thing: not just for this cunt but the other 4 alleged terrorists who were arrested. But let’s all light a few candles, say “no” to hate and pray for him etc. etc. – Day Admin)


And here’s one from W.C.Boggs

ENZO ALMENI

I will certainly not be the only one cunting this heap of shit, who blew himself up in Liverpool on Sunday in a failed attempt to blow up many others, but was thwarted thanks to the heroic efforts of a white minicab driver.

I would just like to make three points:

1) This motherfucker was yet another disgruntled asylum seeker (many others are probably heading on rubber boats to Kent right now). This one pretended to convert from Islam to Christianity.

2) Last night as soon as the mans name was announced the (Labour) Mayor of Liverpool, the dissembling Steve Rotherham, pleaded with the public not to make capital out of the man’s nationality or his motives

3) Literal radio silence from Wireless 4, who, in their “flagship” (flagshit) “Today” programme this morning are doing an OB from a hospital to highlight the plight of the NHS (“It’s worst winter ever” is coming) Even worse than 2020?.

How different to the weeks after Jo Cox MP was killed by a “far right” white man.

Christmas parties

A simple nom for workplace Christmas parties, as it’s that time of year again. (Almost)
A load of old cunt these are.

I hate enforced corporate bonhomie with every fibre of my being. Come to think of it, being a miserable northern cunt I generally hate any form of geniality. They are usually populated with people sucking up to the boss or cunts who think it’s amusing photocopying their tits/arses.

I’ve been to some of these dreadful soirées and attempted to ‘enjoy’ myself. I usually end up pissed and attempting to feel up some lucky filly. I detest them and all they stand for.

Fuck off parties, and fuck off Christmas.

Nominated by: Bertram Cuntatious DCO