and the Beatles are cunts.

Well, to be fair, it’s nothing to do with the two dead ones, But Macca is milking the Fab Four cash cow yet again. He claims that with the help of the dreaded AI, there will be a ‘final’ Beatles song.

Funny, where have we heard that before? The 1995 cash-in ‘Free As A Bird’ was trumpeted as the ‘last Beatles record’.

Then there was another one. ‘Real Love’. The last absolutely the last Beatles record ever.

And now, there is another bloody one.Needless to say, it will be nowhere near their best work. They disbanded in 1970 for fuck’s sake and two of them are long dead. How much more can the cunts squeeze out of it? The way they got into bed with Disney recently was bad enough. But this is plunging the depths. Talk about a dead horse well and truly flogged.

Bbc news

Nominated by Norman.

Now do fuck off.
Are we having thunderstorms, with flooding, etc.

Or is the sun going to carry on shining, with no rain and hosepipe bans already in place?

Make your bloody mind up, I wanted to wash the duvet cover this weekend!

Fucking fence-sitting ditherers!

More on the delights of summer from Jeezum below.

Summer days but, ah!, those Summer nights!

It really nice, when the weather is kind and you can go sit outside with your e-reader, dog and a glass of something chilled.
Equally, when you can open windows to get a through draft.
What’s not so nice, however, is the donner cyclists doing wheelies at +90mph on their illegal dirt bikes ( oh, how I pray for one to encounter a HGV, as he drives up the wrong side of the road, whilst turning his head to grin at his mates).
Also, why do the people who live in the house that backs on to mine, think there’s a fucking forcefield round their boundary fence that prevents me, and a good few others, hearing their shite music and inane, drunken conversation?
Woman: laughs like a donkey braying, “oh, Barry, I never knew you were so funny”
Barry: ” It’s the way I tell ’em!”

Original, Barry. Never heard that one before. BTW, you’re not funny, you’re both just pissed as farts at 3pm on Saturday afternoon.
Tomorrow, around 5am, I’ll be walking my dog & playing Tina Turner at full volume, outside yours.
You cunts.

Independent

sheffield.gov

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

 
A few days ago, the wife attended a gynocology clinic for a consultation regarding an undercarriage problem. Mercifully it turns out that it was a minor matter which could be dealt with routinely, and thankfully she’s not up on blocks.

Yesterday we were in Asda, and I noticed that they were advertising the services of ‘Rug Doctor’ for hire. In an attempt at levity, I expressed surprise that such a service was available in a supermarket, but went on that for a nominal fee, the wife could have saved herself months of waiting time on the NHS.

Cunters would be well advised to note that any attempt at humour with regard to this subject will most certainly not be received by the other half in the spirit that it was intended.

Nominated by Ron Knee.

 
Women have their sacred spaces and quite right too.

The women’s institute. Daytime telly (Loose Women and all that shite.) Wimminz sports coverage. The kitchen. I think we even had a minister for women once, didn’t we?

But for us? We can’t have anything. Years back, a working men’s club I was once a member of got taken over by wimminz. They had a rule. No women allowed in the upstairs bar. It had 2 immaculate full sized snooker tables (10p in the light for ages of playing time.) The official reasoning was that the men could swear and tell ‘blue’ jokes and not offend any ladies.

Well, some twat invited in an annoying, interfering lezza as a guest. She got wind of it and complained to the council.

Long story short. The women were now allowed upstairs. Loads ripped up their memberships, including me. Place has gone from good and cheap as fuck draught to wanky expensive beer. Pool tables and snooker charged by the hour at a high rate. No funny acts and now have ‘yooni’ bands. Gone to the dogs.

Worst of it is that the split arse troublemaker didn’t even take up membership. Fucking whore.

Many other examples. The local pub (those still left). Full of fat split arses downing pints and belching last time I went in on a weekend. Talking about ‘the big game’ at the weekend. Fuck off, lose some weight, go on a femininity and etiquette course and get your tits out.

Men’s sports coverage. Fucking taken over by annoying, clueless, shrieking bints. Women’s sports coveage? No men there! Loose Women? No geezers. Any blokes in the women’s institute?

No, they don’t want us to have anything. I love women but for fuck’s sake. I’m now building an extension which will include a masturbatorium, a full sized snooker table and some strippers.

Get to fuck.

Art of manliness

Nominated by Cuntybollocks.

 

Now, this really made me laugh, particularly the one about Inheritance Tax.

Guardian

Why, I wonder, would Tory MPs be so hot and bothered about inheritance tax now? Could it be truly altruistic?
Or could it be “gasps” that pater/mater is about to cark it, and it’s just occurred that their extremely wealthy parents estate is about to be halved?

Perish the thought, surely they’re not that venal?

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.