In summary, the Ashes cricket tests are named this way due to the Aussies taking the piss out of the England cricket team in 1882. They had beaten us in England and taken out a newspaper obituary advert slot, claiming that English cricket had died and its ashes put into an urn.

The two (men’s of course) teams play for this urn, usually every two years.

But now we have the wimminz ashes.

The history of the ashes has fuck all to do with some shitty, Johnny come lately lezza cricket.

Indeed, Sky had an advert for the Ashes recently. In this advert, some blokes are boarding up the commentary boxes and other high vantage points. The groundsman asks, “Excuse me. What are you doing?” The workers reply, “England are playing!” They are then told to ‘Crack on then!”

For the uninitiated, England have a new look team, which attack and hit a lot of boundaries, given the nickname ‘Baz ball’ after their new coach.

The advert then shows clips of the team smacking the ball out of the park.

Fair enough…but wait. It shows some split arses hitting the ball too.

The women’s team are not playing ‘Baz ball’. They fucking can’t!

The Ashes is about the men’s test teams of Australia and England.

It has fuck all to do with butch lezza cricket.

Get to fuck.

telegraph

Nominated by Cuntybollocks.

 
I don’t suffer fools gladly…never have done. Once someone starts talking bollocks as to their wealth, achievements, possessions and are more interested talking about themselves then my shutters go up.

Here’s an example today of a cunt, Benjamin Mendy, trying to impress with his virility he claimed, according to the bbc and guardian, to have slept with 10000 women. Bullshit button on high alert. Whilst also being a cunt as he’s in the dock for alleged rape.

His statement that he has ‘slept’ with 10000 women is just bullshit. Ok maybe if he was in his later years I can see there’s a possibility…..high profile bloke, wealthy etc.

But he’s not getting on in years….he is 28, and a footballer- so not a full time porn star.

I have to assume he wasn’t fucking anything that moved when he was say 16 or 17, as he wasn’t a well paid famous footballer and let’s be honest when you are that age you do want to fuck anything that moves……but girls generally don’t- well quite so much anyway, so opportunities are sparse. So on that basis lets say he was in good shagging form at 18…..so that’s 10 years of shagging.

A 1000 different women a year then. That equates to two and three quarter different women he’s shagged every day of every year for ten years……whilst also having to ‘work’ as a footballer.

The word ‘bollocks’ spring to mind….and even without this rape accusation he is a prime bullshitting cunt.

Bbc news

Nominated by Chuff Chugger.

I have to agree with you sir sounds like an awful amount of B/S. C.A.

 
As much as I loathe the BB fucking C, this is a link to a news story currently doing the rounds.

Bbc news

The purpose of this cunting isn’t just for France but for the deep cultural malaise, spinelessness and sickness that pervades throughout France and most of the West.

Some young ethnic cunt gets shot by a cop (I’m going to go with my immediate hunch and presume that he was a cultural enricher destined for a life of crime) and the riots start.

Cue the inevitable George Floyd mk II fallout.
Looting, rioting, accusations of racist policing blah blah etc etc and the overly emotional sympathetic reporting from the treacherous cunts at the Guardian, Channel Four and the Beeb et al.

My question is – where the fuck were the riots and protests, or anything at all for that fucking matter, when a “refugee” stabs babies in prams???

Babies in fucking prams being stabbed for fucks fucking sake. Crickets

No, instead of a riot or a protest or even a bit of anger, we get silence, a bit of an old prayer, and a few candles lit.

Must be that media memory hole again.

Somebody should maybe advise the rioting feral Algerians and assorted African scum over in France to maybe “Don’t look back in anger” over this incident.

Nominated by Herman Jelmet.
More on our Garlic eating cousins from King Cunt below.

For so many reasons, the French are cunts. The icing on the cake this month is the cunts now protesting on loss of a minority (Ahem, Majority) 17 year old – no doubt aspiring at some type of fuckwittery, by police. As well as Macon himself condemning not the dead cunt but the police that shot him.

In a. county that since 2020 has had 14 terrorist attacks, most screaming allah akhbar, without knowing any of the reasons Abdul was euthanised – Frenchies think its right to riot, burn cars and protest. These police should be awarded for averting the 15th attack on its people, not condemned by them.

The only car i would burn here is the one with the cunts body in it.

One more spot in the dinghy now!

wiki

 
I came across this guardian reading,university educated and when you see her tuppence licker chief constable of somerset and Avon when working away last week.

Up she pops on tv and tells me, not being racist is no longer good enough?

Taking the baton from the met police report, her police force is institutionally racist..

Those 3.6 percent of non white inhabitants of the area are apparently harassed and tormented and ignored.

I’m sure that’s important to the people of the area when crime is through the roof, that poor old denzel is stopped and searched.

Still since chicken George and burn loot murder I’m finding myself more racist as I imagine alot of white people are.

So luv how about you try and get the crime rate down and do the job your paid a small fortune for.

Avon

Nominated by Barry zuckercunt.

 
Spider-Man actor Tom Holland is taking a year-long hiatus from acting to look after his mental health after having a “tough time” in his latest role playing a rapist in The Crowded Room.

Tom whined ” I was seeing myself in him, but in my personal life, I remember having a bit of a meltdown at home and thinking, like, I’m going to shave my head. I need to shave my head because I need to get rid of this character.”

Oh dear. Maybe acting isn’t about standing in front of a green screen scratching your balls after all. You get very well paid to dress up and pretend to be someone else for a living. Plenty of actors down the years have played horrible cunts like Anthony Hopkins serial killing cannibal in Silence of the Lambs, Bruno Ganz portraying Adolf Hitler in Downfall or Michael Sheen as uber cunt Tony Blair three times in various films, yet none felt the need to sit a darkened room afterwards.

Just enjoy the hefty paychecks and getting balls deep in your hot girlfriend you whiny little twat.

To paraphrase Laurence Olivier, “My dear boy, why don’t you just try fucking acting?”

Independent

Nominated by Liberal Liquidator.