Well, if the people who are currently claiming that they were offered a place on the Titan submersible had actually said ‘yes’, I estimate there would have been at least 11 on board, and as many as 17, including Graham Norton, whose post has since vanished.
As I said grief vampires to the left, grief stricken relatives to the right.
Nominated by Jeezum Preist.
Joe Biden and The Muppets (Charles and Sunny)
Yes, Uncle Joe is coming to our shores (along with about a thousand dinghy raiders) this weekend. Apparently he is going to have discussions with our own out of touch idiots, King Chimpboy and the Suntan Kid. No doubt the media will treat it like something important is happening rather than the complete fucking shitshow it is. All front, all bollocks…..none of these cunts are in charge of anything. They can’t even have a piss without asking for permission.
Nominated by Freddie the Frog, link by C.A. Freddie you need to add your own links in future C.A.
While on a job yesterday I spied one of these things hanging on the wall of the garden room.
“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.”
How profound. It sounds like the kind of gooey bullshit you would hear at the end of Oprah. I bet some poor cunt with asthma is thinking “I’ve hit the fucking jackpot!”. You can see them on TV too, maybe a ‘Love lives here’ or the classic ‘Home sweet home’ just before someone gets bludgeoned with an Eiffel Tower snow globe or the husband tells his wife he has been shagging the Dutch nanny.
God knows what the tiddleywinks who undoubtedly make all this rubbish think.
Family is family I suppose.
If you want to put a piece of over-sentimental chintzy shit on the wall, buy a Banksy but you will still look like a wanker.
Nominated by Liberal Liquidator.
A cunting for the Millennial BBQ.
That is, A BBQ in a park or somebody’s garden, town or country, with the majority of the invited being gormless millennials.
I know lots of IsAC’s posters are older, but let this be a warning. I’m of the age that can be considered Gen X or millennial, but Ive worked with older blokes most of my life, had older mates when I was in my teens and generally identify with the Boomer/Gen X mindset. I like to help out at a bbq and often cook the food because I can. Nobody has ever complained.
The problem is that buying a fair bit of extra food, cooking and generally helping out a host is seen by some as a reason to take the piss, especially by millennials.
Some ‘rock up’ with 3 extra people the host wasnt expecting. They don’t bring any food with them, just a six pack of Fosters between 5 of them. Somebody else’s booze will do.
There’s the mercenaries who turn up, repeatedly ask when the food will be ready, then go home. telling the host to ‘let them know when it’s ready’ (this happened to a friend having a house-warming get-together.in a very small garden. She knew what the cunts were like but she was far too nice and they left her in tears).
There are the impatient cunts and groakers who want you to get their food on so they can eat up and not have to socialise.too much It doesn’t matter that other people arrived before and you’re the one cooking it all. To rub it in they’ll tell you to cook the daughter’s a bit longer, just to make sure. The groakers hang about,waiting for the first burger to get the first hint of a caramelised crust, waving a cigarette around snd holding their bap open.
‘Is it ready? Is it ready? Is it ready? Yeah just stick it in.. no ain’t got a plate no time for that taken long enough as it is… ‘fella’!’
Then there’s the piggy carnivore.
Loading their plate with burgers, chops, shish kebabs and taking more than enough meat for one sitting.
No salad, and not even a burger bap.
‘Yeah i don’t really DO salad’.
My girlfriend at the time. ‘Well, you do here.. please’. The bloke in question was an absolute child and checking going back to nab burgers or anything spare on the meat front. Never invite the unemployed to a bbq. They have enough troughs to cater for their entitled, grasping nature.
These days I only bother cooking for close family. All of those lazy entitled millennisls can sit in their public parks near dog toilets or Brighton beach cooking value burgers on a foil tray while getting sun burn and food poisoning..
Fucking pikey millennial cunts.
Nominated by Cuntamus Prime.
It’s all about me.
Me Me Me Me.
Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe: ‘Readjusting to UK life was hard’
Never mind the savagery against women in Iran, where we extracted this ungrateful cunt from. Never mind the multiple millions it cost us.
Then we get
“But, you know, I can’t complain. I’m free and I’m out, whereas many of my friends are still in prison.”
Cant complain? She has done fuck all else since we, the British taxpayers and government brought her home.
Me, fucking, Me, fucking Me.
Ship the cunt back.
Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble.