Heat. The new Channel 5 drama which gives Danny Dyer the chance to expand his repertoire of playing Cockerknee geezers.

This time in Australia, appropriately enough for a cunt, down under.
My dearest was watching this pile of dingo droppings so I looked in.

Danny drives many miles into the bush ( behave yourself) on dirt track roads and arrived in big white Nissan 4×4 without a speck of dust or a squashed bug anywhere. Aye, right.
And amazingly every body has good mobile phone signal.
They have this 10 second recording of an Aussie bird, maybe a magpie. And just to remind us that this is not the garden in Albert Square this recording is played every so often.

They head off for a picnic in the bush with Desperate Danny swinging a big esky like a pouftahs man bag. Obviously totally empty. Nobody worries about lethal snakes, spiders or other friendly Aus fauna.
And all the time Danny gives his best mentally torn Mick of Ears Endahs performance.
I could go on. And on.

So I am cunting Chanel No. Five for this malodorous heap of I-am-almost-a-sleb-get-me-a-job shite.

Nominated by Bushman.

I am letting this pass as it seems like your first cunting. However, please include a link with any cunting you offer in future should you want it posting. C.A.

is a cunt.

The BBC reports young children and adults alike are walking down the middle of a busy carriageway, instead of sticking to the pavement. Why? They prefer dodging cars, ingesting copious amounts of exhaust and the odd tire track across the back of a favourite coat to simply walking along a path to school.

A village parish councillor(massive cunt) spotted some wild Hemlock growing along the side of the road(as it always has. It can also be viewed in woodland, riverbanks and waste ground) and backed up by the head teacher, who wouldn’t look out of place at any Eco/Pride/Just stop oil protest or a wet lettuce competition have decided children’s lives are at stake walking past it.

Maybe it’s just me, but I myself or any of my kids or anyone else that I know or have seen had a habit of eating plants from the side of the road when walking to school.
Thanks for the warning BBC-never been a problem, but now I guess watch out..and try not to nibble any!

Bbc news

Nominated by Bob Highland.

It appears that scores of viewers have abandoned EastEnders. This is because they are pig sick of being lectured every time it’s on. It has been described as ‘unbearably woke’ and ‘virtue signaling’, and examples were given. Greta the Mong mentioned several times, episodes based around veganism, gay pride (again), right wing white ‘Nazis’ planning to bomb a mosque (since fucking when?), climate change and – naturally – Brexit. With that peroxide upright cow Sharon Watts/Mitchell/God Knows comparing Brexit (a referendum result) to Covid (thousands of people dead worldwide). It’s a soap, not a fucking soap box.

But people are really sick of it. From 30 million viewers in the Den and Angie years to a piddling 1 million in 2023. Fucking hell, repeats of Dad’s Army and Steptoe & Son get more viewers than that. Them again, they were good shows.

The latest NeverEnders barrel scraping trick is to bring yet another officially pronounced dead character errr back from the dead. How bloody desperate are they? Cindy and Ian fucking Beale?! Their ludicrous and obscenely woke storylines will hopefully be the beginning of the end for this pathetic woke dogshit.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Norman.

Now, I’m sure some of you lot will have had the home tests for bowel cancer, otherwise known as “poohsticks”.

Here’s a new one.

Well, don’t know about you, but I’m needlephobic, I pass out giving a blood sample, and I’m certainly not going to DIY.

What the fuck? Home phlebotomy!!
Don’t think so.

Gloucester live

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

 
I have more or less given up commentating as it seems every day the whole human race becomes an even bigger heap of stinking shit, but this cannot pass without comment. Yesterday (Juy 8th) a group of obese men and women descended on Piccadilly in London to flaunt their perv*rsions:

At the moment shops are finding it hard to get customers through their doors and Saturday business, at one time (perhaps is still?) the optimum day for people visiting bricks and mortar outlets – more business ruined because a pile of exhibitionistic Eddie Izzard wannabees decide that they need their fifteen minutes of fame. Couldn’t they have just joined in on Buggers Day which was the previous Saturday?, with yet more businesses suffering because people are so anxious that we hear about their sordid aberrations in public. It is a pity they ever decriminalised buggery – they should bring that back as an offence (plenty of MPs would suddenly find themselves up for re-election) . Let’s do the same with men called Ethel and women called Bert. I just hope Westminster council have disinfectedthe streets with that stuff that kills 99%of all known germs – there are probaby a few UNKNOWN germs amongst that pile of fuckers.

Standard

Nominated by W C Boggs.