DIY Haircuts


DIY haircuts ( just don’t)

Like this chap, I bought hairclippers during lock down, because I was fed up of looking like a Wookie, and the eyebrows!

I got Elder to do the biz ( or buzz, if you prefer)

FecesBook.

Now, I’m a bit tight-fisted, I am from Yorkshire after all, so I’ve never gone back to the Speedy Barber, relying on Elder to buzz the nut. However, she’s busy atm, so I decided to DIY. Bad mistake.

I’d run the clippers over, all looked well. Took the guide off and cleaned the clippers, ready to tidy up the neck hair, round the ears, sideburns.

Grabbed the vacuum to clear up the clippings before the dog ate them ( yes, he’s that stupid), realised that I’d missed a couple of spots at the back, grabbed the clippers and…

Yes, you’ve guessed, Grant Mitchelled a couple of tramlines into the back of my head.

Absolutely mortified, I looked a right cunt, I did the only thing possible, which was…..

Let me tell you, wearing a beanie hat is very uncomfortable, on warm days.

So, fellow Cunters (Don’t) DIY, when it comes to haircuts, unless you favour the billiard ball look.

Nominated by : Jeezum Priest

The Hobart Protestors


More thick middle class cuntheads. who believe wrecking a statue ‘settles the score’ with some bloke who lived over a hundred years ago.

Now it’s some uppity cunts, whining about something that happened to abos in Australia many years ago. All about them Black black blackty black. Yawn. Heard it all before.

Somebody should tell these utter fuckwits that William Crowther died a long time ago.It achieves nothing. Stupid as fuck. Any cunt who has a ‘beef’ with a stone or metal statue needs a psychiartist very quickly. Cunts

BBC News.

Nominated by : Norman

Marieha Hussain


I am a cynical cunt, and it’s reports like this that make me so.

BBC News.

This lady decided to attend a pro Palestinan rally in Londonistan with a placard depicting Rishi Sunak and Suella Braverman as coconuts having fallen from a coconut tree.

Her only defence seems to be it was intended to be ‘satirical’ although a dark skinned person being referred to as a coconut is a racial slur meaning dark on the outside, but white on the inside. This is the point the prosecution put forward, and again, she said it wasn’t racist but ‘satirical’ Was she asked why these people were depicted at coconuts? If she was, it certainly wasn’t in the report, and if she wasn’t I really would like to hear her reasons why…as there can be no other reason than what I have described above.

So, why may I ask was she not prosectuted and let free? Here is where my cynical side comes in…….she is a Muslim.

When we have white English being sent down for ridiculously petty and trumped up charges to ‘make a point’ for lesser ‘crimes’ such as hurty words on fakebook I do wonder.

Nominated by : Chuff Chugger

With further legal analysis by Sam Beau:

I`d like to second this cunting by providing another link which totally exonerates the cunt:

Cage.ngo Link.

Unbelievable.

Winter Heating Allowance Smugness


BBC News.

Now, while I’m not endorsing the
decision to cut the pensioner Winter Heating Allowance ( WHA), I’ve got to say that although it came in useful, I could probably managed without.

I don’t stint on having my heating on, and although I probably don’t eat as much meat as I used to, I manage.

However, I’m fully aware that there are pensioners who struggle, and articles like this, from this smug cunt, don’t help.

If I can figure out where he lives, I’ll go and put dog shit on his door handles.

Nominated by : Jeezum Priest

Angst Over Other Nations Supplying Arms to Russia


Whinging and getting the hump because Russia is getting weapons from Iran, China, the arse of the devil etc.

yeah I know the invasion of Ukraine was a bit spazz but fuck me from what I read in the msm the western allies have given Ukraine every thing apart from the starship enterprise. We might as well go and join in probably.cheaper than all the military aid. What do our governments expect Russia to do? Damm sure that if the”west” had been a bit more helpful when so called communism vanished up its stinking arsehole we would not be in the fucking daft place we are.

But of course the reduction in super powers was welcomed by many. Wait till China starts really throwing its impressive weight around. Make the old USSR look like a WI meeting and they know how to deal with peacefuls.

The Bulletin. (Link provided by Sam Beau)

Nominated by : Black Biscuit