are cunts.

Well now, here’s something that you don’t see every day! Hollywood’s got a new superhero film coming out, and I’m sure that like me, you can’t wait for it to hit the big screen.

Put your hands together for ‘Fantastic Four; First Steps’, as we get yet another re-boot of, er, a re-boot. And with stunning originality, the plot focuses around the arrival of (cue growling synthesisers, roiling cloud effects) some alien cunt called Galactus, who for some reason wants to destroy the world. Again. As you do. Time for our heroes to step up once more and save the planet…

If the trailer’s anything to go by, this effort looks like a tacky, formulaic, and very tired final bid to save the franchise. Trouble is, we’ve been there and done that already, and we’ve all got the t-shirt. Oh, and purists will no doubt be outraged to note that in true Hollywoke style, the villain’s henchman, the Silver Surfer, has had his tackle nipped and is now female. They just can’t help themselves.

Well who knows at this moment if this will be a hit or a flop, but my guess is the latter. Superhero fatigue has set in good and proper I’d say, not to mention the fact that there seems to be something of a disenchantment in general these days where Hollywoke product is concerned. One thing I can predict with complete accuracy is that my hand won’t be going into my pocket to watch this. Enough already with the trailer.

Hollywood to me now seems utterly stale and stagnant, obsessed with re-boots, live action remakes and sequels, and full of virtue-signalling tossers who feel compelled to push agendas at the expense of the entertainment that Joe Public craves. Sadly I fear that the Fantastic Four will be one more nail in the coffin. Hollywood; the place where originality and creativity now go to die.

the sun

Nominated by Ron Knee.

Following on from the recent post re Jurgen Klopp and his impossible teef we present to you an internet chancer’s solution to cracking the problem, namely the Jasseem “one size fits all” Comfort Denture – and if you believe that and the guff in this online scam puff then you deserve all you get. Caveat Emptor.

Historically we find the Pharos laid to rest with wooden teeth and gold and silver replacement dentition goes back to the dawn of civilisation. Also wooden dentures with inset human teeth reclaimed from the carnage of the battlefield or what came to be known as Waterloo Dentures were a much prized feature pre NHS. (Note dentists did a particularly roaring trade after the bloody battles of the French Wars. Teeth were one of the prizes claimed by the harridans that travelled with the baggage trains of the winning side).

So onwards and upwards we now find ourselves bombarded with magic toothpastes, cosmetic whitening and arse lift, tit lift, trout pout and veneer and tooth implant clinics and all at astonishing prices. Then there is always the cheaper option of a Turkish holiday/cosmetic procedures combo followed by months of agonising corrective surgery back home in Blighty on the NHS. Into this pageant of dodgy vanity enhancement steps the One Size Jasseem Next-Day Comfort Denture. Not as environmentally enhancing as the plastic free Waterloo Denture perhaps but to reassure the doubtful thus the Mission Statement from the jaspers that punt out Jasseem Dentures:

“With the idea of “green and healthy” embodied in the whole process of product development, we aspire to create innovative and effective products for global customers seeking for beauty and health by adopting the most advanced technologies”.

All smile for the camera please.

sax.com

Nominated by Sir Limply Stoke.

Macben Achianu is,somewhat unsurprisingly,a proper cunt.

BBC News.

It appears its been traumatised by attempting to rent a house from renowned estate agents Gumtree and in the process got relieved of £2000..

It’s a heartwarming tale of very mild deception all wrapped up in the complete fucking idiocy of the hapless Achianu.

No doubt the Blek Key is attempting to leverage his stupidity by letting the BBC in on the sob story in the hope some mugs club together to give him his money back.

What a Cunt.

Nominated by : Unkle Terry

are cunts.

The Chamber of the House of Commons has long had an unfortunate reputation for unseemly, raucous and unpleasant behaviour on the part of sitting MPs. That much is news to no one.

However of late I detect a particular pattern of cloddish behaviour among Members towards the small nucleus of Reform UK representatives. When a Reformer gets up to make a statement or ask a question, a cacophony of howls, jeers, insults, gabble and babble immediately breaks out, often making it all but impossible to hear what the Member has to say. It’s like listening to a herd of braying donkeys.

Now this display would be ill-mannered and disrespectful enough if it was merely random. But I suspect that in fact it is orchestrated and concerted, a deliberate crossbench tactic aimed at disheartening the speaker, drowning them out and in effect, denying Reform a voice in the House . It’s devious, nasty and worst of all, undemocratic.

Of course some of you may think that my view is a conspiracy theory too far, but I believe it’s true. In my view this is a tacit pact between those who see the old ‘your turn, our turn’ LabCon hegemony as under an implicit threat, and they want to create the impression that Reform is a discredited and unworthy component of the Parliamentary discourse.

There’s irony in the situation at any rate. Far from belittling Reform, these numpties belittle themselves before the British people, and shame Parliament before the world. The irony is that they think they’re being clever, but they’re too doltish to see how stupid they actually are and how childish they appear.

Best of all, they’re afraid; scared shitless by the prospect of losing their cushy sinecures at the hands of an emerging Reform. The stink of fear hangs over the House. You can smell it from here. Yes you cunts, be afraid. Be very afraid.

youtube

Nominated by Ron Knee.

The day started very nicely weather-wise, so the wife and I decided to go for a stroll in the local park. Bad decision as it turned out.

There we were, ambling happily along, when suddenly out of the undergrowth to my left burst this fucking hound, and before I could react, he took one look and leapt straight at me. I went backwards, instinctly trying to keep my balance, and collided with the missus, who went sprawling onto the path, bashing her head off the tarmac with a resounding ‘crash!’, and hurting her back.

As if the presence of this fucking great mutt wasn’t enough, up then comes its cunt of an owner, uselessly yelling ‘down! come here!’ at the bastard as it leapt about. Needless to say, I was absolutely livid, and yelled ‘can’t you control your bloody dog, you idiot?’ at the top of my voice. ‘Oh I’m soooo sorry’ the cow whimpers lamely. ‘Sorry?’ shouts I, ‘what bloody good’s that, you twat?’. Then the look came over her face; that ‘this horrid man’s being toxic to poor me’ look. ‘Is there anything I can do?’ she simpers. ”Yes’ says I. ‘Piss off, and take your stupid mutt with you before I kick the bastard into the pond!’. And off she crept, for all the world the injured party in the exchange. How could the horrid man positively not adore sweet Wolfie? He’s SUCH a pet.

Well you can probably guess the outcome. Several hours spent in A and E, while the medics did their excellent work of checking the wife over good and proper, patching her up and administering morphine before saying that she was okay to be discharged and taken home. Here she remains well shaken up and in considerable discomfort.
(Sorry to hear that, Ron. How’s she doing? – NA)

As for Barbara fucking Woodhouse and her calamitously behaved mutt, it was (and it remains) my earnest wish that the pair of them should go back up to the main road and promptly get run over by a truck.The only thing that could possibly have improved on this scenario would have been my presence there to witness it.

Cunts.

YouTube. (Link by Sam Beau)

Nominated by : Ron Knee