Getting your Moggie chipped.
Yes folks, after today, any cat (except for Felix, Sylvester & Tom of course) will need to have one by law. £20 a shot, & if you fail to comply, then you will be fined. My friend had his his stray cat done today that he “adopted” a little while back. It’s well old, so I asked him “Is it worth it?” Well I guess people do fall in love with their pets. I do understand this ‘chip’ thing with dogs, but cats? They always go out, without their owner, & when they get damaged, they could end up at the R.S.P.L.C. who will fix them, then contact the owner. & if you want your beloved pet back there will be a hefty bill. I know that this has happened. Whereas a dog should not end up in this situation. Of course if you have paid out 2 grand for a Peruvian Pedigree, or a Burmese variation, then of course get it done, but a scraggly old Moggie? It should be the owners choice, that is of course if you can really say you actually own the thing! I can see the population of these creatures dwindling, but that is not a bad thing, for what these horrible creatures do to certain breeds of fauna. Oh well I better take my tiger in tomorrow, & get him done!

Nominated by What’s so funny about Biggs Diccus? with a slightly different take on Cats by Herman Jelmet below.

“Domestic” Cats

Anything that gets these unnecessary creatures under some form of control is ok with me.

This is a link from a little while back. Albeit this is an Aussie news article.

Business insider

A lazy cunts “pet” in my opinion.

If you’re going to own a cat then do the responsible thing and keep the evil little bastards in the house and preferably neuter the things while you’re at it.

A fat lazy tart who lives at the bottom of the road from me has about half a dozen of them roaming around the place hunting and killing songbirds, mice and whatever else.

“oooh look, Tiddles has brought me another present”

One of them rather stupidly ventured into my back garden not so long ago and was nearly ragged to death by my whippet.

It hasn’t been back since but if it does and my dog kills it then tough fucking luck.

As I say though, a fat lazy single mother with half a dozen cats that she can just open the door for and let out.

A dog would require walking and other forms of exercise see.

It’s generally either fat lazy tarts, spinsters or homosexual men who have a penchant for keeping these utterly pointless fucking things but regardless of all that, if you do own the odd a cat or six, do the decent thing and keep it indoors.

If you happen to be a responsible cat owner who’s not a fat lazy woman or a homosexual man then please accept my apologies. Other than that – Fuck off and get a proper pet.

An ever-so-gentle nursery cunting for 22 year old Labour M.P (what else!) Sam Carling, a funny haired little geek, who was born in April 2002. His youth does not in any way shrink his big head. The one thing he doesn’t lack is self confidence. He claims, as he minces the mean streets of Cambridgeshire that he has “the skills and experience(!) to run a campaign for change”. Well, to be fair, he DID save local bus services.

Seriously how can a kid still in education (“uni” of course) have the life skills to be a politician, or anything rather than a washer-up at Nandos. Do you want fries with that?

I suspect life will not be very kind at Westminster – Keir Mather the previous baby of the house will be furious, now old man Streeting will scratch his eyes out (nobody loves a fairy when he’s 40), but I am sure Mandy will be delighted to take him in hand, and no doubt Bryant will give him spiritual replenishment. And possibly a bumming.

Sam Carling Website

Yahoo News

Nominated by: W. C. Boggs

Additional News Link Provided by: PT Admin

Five minutes after being elected to form a government, and the dinghy wallahs are celebrating how easy it will now be for them to enter Britain.

MSN.

Is it any wonder when the new PM says he will abolish the Rwanda plan on day one, the only deterrent we had?
Sir Keir has been given a nickname by the filth in France that roughly translates as, “A man who works for refugees or workers”.
He certainly works for scroungers who call themselves refugees, but workers? No!
The days when Labour stood for the British working class are long gone, and now they represent themselves, immigrants, and hysterical protest groups. In that order.
With the French elections looking like a right wing government will be elected, who will not tolerate foreign filth in their own country, expect uncontrolled immigration to start right now.

Coming to a place near you. Courtesy of Liebour.

Nominated by : Duke of Cuntshire

Lily the mong.

Bored of singing and noshing immo cocks in calas, the member of the showbiz dynasty Allen family has joined onlyfans.

Good grief you say, don’t worry there’s no pictures of her ironing board chest and dropped kebab vagina.

For the low, low price of £8 a month you can marvel at lily’s plates of meat/feet.

Jesus wept, how sad and pathetic must you be to pay for that sight..

I do hope the proceeds of this venture are going to the migrant vermin she loves..
It would be fun to watch them squabbling over the £24 profits..

Sky News

Nominated by: Barry zuckercunt

Seconded by: Fuglyucker

Seconded, what makes this deluded slag think anyone is interested in seeing or hearing any more of her than we already have, it’s the Internet fault for allowing talentless fuckwits like her to get air time….. Pass the sick bag.

England’s wank voting system, Reform got more votes in total than the Lib dead yet the Lib dead get 71 fucking seat’s whilst Reform has 4. This system is really shite. Utter fuckwittery of the highest order. Well old Keir has 5 years to prove himself and his party or it’s arse kicking and the same old bollock rumble on and on and on.
On watching the news it seems some MPs have held their seats not the correct thing to do under poo labour and their lgbdfrtybcsehk diddler policies. Fuck them all

Nominated by : Black biscuit

Seconded and linked to by Sam Beau:

Seconded.
Stats here … BBC News.

And not to be out voted, here’s Ron Knee with more:

Britain’s ‘First Past the Post’ Electoral System.

*Deadline 5th July 2024*

FPTP is a cunt.

It’s unrepresentative of the popular will in the country, and means that millions of people, in effect, waste their vote simply by voting for the candidate of their choice when the election is decided on a constituency-by-constituency basis.

Oh we’ve all heard the tired old arguments from the two main parties for donkey’s, about how proportional representation leads to instability in government. But consider these few basic statistics from the 2024 general election;

Labour; 33.9% of the vote, over 400 seats
Reform UK; 14.3% of the vote, 4 seats
LimpDicks; 12.3% of the vote, over 70 seats

Once again, the system has handed a huge majority to one of the two main parties on a minority of the popular vote. Here we have the LimpDicks polling less of the popular vote, and winning over 60 seats more than Reform UK. How can a system which produces such a distortion ever be consider fair or democratic?

Under a proportional representation system, it’s estimated the Reform UK would have over 90 seats in the Commons today. I voted for Reform UK with my head as well as my heart, knowing that my vote would count for fuck all. What actually was the point in even bothering to vote?

Well it’s time for my vote to mean something, a sentiment which I’m sure is shared by millions of others feeling disenfranchised this morning. Fuck Labour and the Tories and anyone else defending the indefensible that is FPTP.

Manchester Evening News.

*NB update*

Reform now has a fifth MP

With a final dodgy postal vote coming in from Rt. Hon. Dioclese:

In the aftermath of the General Election we are blessed to have produced the most disproportionate result in UK electoral history.

We now have a Labour government with two thirds of the seats elected on a third of the vote. This means that two thirds of the people who actually voted did not vote Labour and 4 out of 5 people eligible to vote did not vote Labour. In what way is this landslide therefore representative of the will of the people in a free democracy?

The LibDems got 71 seats and yet got half a million less votes than Reform who got 5 seats. In what way is this fair?

And worryingly 5 muslim independents were elected on a pro Gaza anti Israel platform. Apart from the fact that Hamas is a proscribed terrorist organization who started the Gaza conflict with acts of indiscriminate murder, they garnered less than 200,000 votes between them and got the same number of seats as Reform and one more than the Greens.

One thing is clear : the first past the post system is grossly unfair. Of course while the two main parties have a system that guarantees that we live in a two party state nothing will change.

And an electoral system that is inherently unfit for purpose will continue to guarantee that the electorate will never get the result they actually want…

BBC News.