One, two, Freddy’s coming for you. Three, four he’s at the door.

On my morning stroll with the dogs this morning, I noticed that the local park was full of separate groups running, doing squats and other fitness shit. There must have been 30-40 people in several different groups.

I’ve got nowt against fitness, but these cunts have become like cyclists – they think because they are “fit” they take the moral high-ground and fuck everyone else. Got dirty looks because I let my dogs run free, and the fitness cunts were in the way of where they usually sniff.

What’s wrong with people that they need to do this in groups – why not just go for a run yourself, or do some skipping in the garden. Don’t spoil my free day with your fitness shit. The one thing that has been good about the spell of crap weather is that these cunts have had to stay at home.

Mind you, I don’t mind when the birds do yoga next to the caff where I sit and eke my tea out for as long as I can.

Nominated by – Lord Cuntingford 

An enormous, “I can’t see you right today, I’m on my monthlies” cunting, for the new Sport England fitness advert.

I saw this a couple of weeks ago and thought I was hallucinating, There we were, me and Mrs Cuntatious having a little TV time when on it came, a plump bird bending over and pulling her yoga pants on, Tammy string dangling. We needed to rewind to see it again as we thought dementia had caught up with us suddenly and we were imagining it, but there it was, in all it’s stringy glory. The world is quickly going down the toilet and is full of advertising and marketing cunts, thinking up shit like this just for the sake of it.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7889727/New-fitness-ad-featuring-woman-tampon-thread-hanging-underwear-inspires-women.html#comments

Nominated by Bertram Cuntatious DCO

Gary Lineker is still a cunt…
Apart from his much despised anti-Brexit bollocks, old slimy arse has come over all pious about the game he used to play… St Gary had this to say recently…

‘Of all those that have been either arrested, indicted etc., Michel Platini is the saddest and most depressing: he was a footballer, one of us.’

Errr Lineker has made a career out of promoting a game that’s now rotten and corrupt from the top down… All about money and he has been taking his wedge happily….

What a sanctimonious cunt he really is…

Nominated by Norman