People who can’t wait to tell you the weather forecast are a cunt.

I’m a ‘take each day as it comes’ kind of fella and I choose to avoid weather forecasts if I can.

As I’m not a fisherman, roofer, builder or landscape gardener, my job isn’t weather dependent so if I wake and the sun is shining – great. If I wake and the sun isn’t shining or it’s pissing it down – not so great.

However I tend not to try and dwell on it too much and choose to live in the perhaps naive hope, that it’ll change for the better the following day.

Which brings me to the next door neighbour. A retired man in his early 70s who is only happy being eternally miserable.

If he catches me leaving for work on a sunny morning with a spring in my step, he can’t wait to ambush me with the weather forecast.

“It’s gonna break.” he’ll say.
Or “it’s not gonna last!”

During the darker months when it pisses down perpetually and I’m depressed as fuck, he’s there to collar me when I’m getting back from work or from walking the dog in the evening.

“Oh this is on for the rest of the week!” he’ll cheerfully inform me.

I’ve told him on a number of occasions thanks but I don’t really bother with weather forecasts.

Yet he still can’t help getting all John Kettley on me when I least expect it.

He’s very much far from being alone in this British phenomenon mind.

A client only yesterday, (a nice sunny day – surprisingly) couldn’t wait to tell me “it’s not going to last”

If I want a weather forecast then I’ll have a look or a listen for myself, otherwise, fuck off.

Nominated by : Herman Jelmet

again. The gathering of the cunts.

Every year the same. Middle to upper class fuckwits congregate. To watch the usual garbage.

A has been rock relic way past their prime, but paid ridiculous money to creak out their ‘classics’. Macca. Fleetwood Mac, U2, Rolling Stones. That sort of thing.

Some crappy ‘guilty pleasure/novelty’ act. Past glories include Rolf Harris and Gary Glitter. And watching Lionel Richie or Diana Ross melt in 25 degree heat is not a nice thing.

Some overrated up themself current pop cunt. William Eilish or Lana Del Cunt Someone like that. And the snotty little cunt will turn up late. Won’t be able to finish their set, as they’ll break a fungernail or spaz out becuase they have tourettes or some other ‘illness’. Lardarse Capaldi sprimgs to mind.

Some uppity treeswinger cunt who revels in pimping, crime and violence. The crowd, of course, lap this up. And shout the ‘N’ word because it’s the most rebellious thing they will ever do.

The crowd of twats will be socialists for the day, and chant for Starmer, Corbyn and Greta the Mong.

All hosted by that complete cunt, Lauren Laverne.

Link here. Telling us about Glasto’s latest novelty antique riding a horse. Barrel well and truly scraped.

bbcnews

Nominated by Norman. Addendum by Chuff Chugger.

if i may add to this cunting, the hypocritical cunts who are in the audience cheering and clapping people like Greta agreeing with her every word about global warming, recycling, plastic in water ways etc etc, yet leave all their shit behind.

they are all bandwagonners on the latest fad to look somehow cool, but dont actually believe the bollocks they seemingly agree with when in an audience.

bbcnews 2

There’s no cunt like a deluded Welsh cunt.
And I speak as one.

”Wales should get £4bn HS2 compensation – Plaid Cymru”

Yes, for a railway that was all about Londoners going somewhere unpleasant but being home in time for artisanal sourdough hummus and avocado.

”Party leader Rhun ap Iorwerth called for “fair” funding for Wales and a £20 a week increase to child benefit in its manifesto for the general election.”

This party has Welsh independence at it’s core. But still wants handouts. £20 extra for chavs and immos.

”The party said it would oppose the renewal of the Trident nuclear weapons system, and called for the UK to re-enter the EU customs union.”

Wales safe from Putin then? And of course it’s odd how independence from the UK requires reliance on Brussels – see SNP.

Wales has been run into the ground by Labour since devolution (God bless Tony Blair) But this bunch of cunts show that perhaps it could be worse.

Let the Welshism begn.

bbcnews

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble.

I have always been a good looking bastard.
Pulling top notch totty was never a problem for the Artful Cunter.

I have been out with a few models, one of them a Sun page 3 girl and one beauty queen.

No relationship lasted too long.

The girls were good to look at and good to be seen with, but I found them self obsessed and not particularly good company.
A bit dim really.

One girl used to get up at 4am every morning to do her hair and makeup even though she was only going to do her mundane day job.

It would take all of them hours to get ready for a night out and of course they couldn’t possibly be seen in the same clothes twice.

Constant diets meant that taking them out for a meal was a fucking nightmare.

Meeting Mrs Cunter was a pleasure.
She was and still is stunning.
An international sportswoman who is still as fit as fuck.
As far as I know she has never been on a diet and will eat anything when I proudly take her out.
She looks at least 20 year’s younger than she actually is.
She fits easily in the few clothes that she still has from 40 years ago.
She rarely wears makeup. She doesn’t need to.

Compare past models, beauty queens (and Mrs Cunter) to today’s beauties.

It’s refreshing to see that good looks and a good figure are no longer important in winning beauty titles.

Take Sara Milliken, the new Miss Alabama.

Being pig ugly and having several chins have not held her back.
Morbidly obese with a shape similar to a wheely bin.
Not a curve in sight.

The lucky cunt that gets hooked up with Sara won’t have to wait ages for her to get ready for an evening out.
She will just need to put on her culturally appropriated wig and off you go.

He won’t have to worry about where to take her to eat.
Quantity of food will win over quality every day of the week.
Any ‘All You Can Eat’ buffet that she hasn’t already been banned from will do.

Sara. You are an inspiration to all young women.

latestly.com

Nominated by The Artful Cunter.

Horrible songs that are adopted by the unwashed and rough arsed and classless britscum.

These cunts adopt a (usually shit) song and they play it to death, or sing it loudly like out of tune football hooligans when pissed. Many examples, but here are some of the worst.

Tina Turner – The Best (although most mongs wrongly call it Simply The Best)

Chumbawumba – Tub Thumping

Los Del Rio – Macarena

Adele – any of her tuneless shit

The Killers – Human

Black Eyed Peas – Shut Up

Ed Sheercunt – see Adele

Maroon 5 – Moves Like Jagger

Lewis Capaldi – see Sheercunt and Adele

And two newer ones that have become anthems for chav riff raff.

Noah Kahan – Stick Season
Shaboozey – A Bar Song (Tipsy)

These two dirges will be blaring out of numerous shitholes and dives for months.

youtube

Nominated by Norman.