A cunt or not a cunt?
Some while ago I cunted getting trough airports for the many different stages which passengers had to go through, horrendous queues, Diego cops, facial recognition finger printing and a several mile walk carrying the same weight as a SAS Bergen in the Brecon Beacons on their selection March.
I was sick of it and decided that I to would allow some person to wheel me in a chair through all said obstacle’s and allow Mrs E/C to carry the afore mentioned Bergen or pack less fucking weight.
I wrote on here that it went well breezing through checkpoint Charlie and all the other ones involved, sometimes skipping the eye recognition and finger print stages altogether just because I put on a gormless face, dribbled from my mouth and used an inhaler.
A few weeks ago I buggered off to the canary islands for a post summer holiday. Did the wheeze work as well?
Our plane was delayed for half and hour because of the large number of assisted travellers on board. Oh dear. Biggles then made up the time by burning up more fuel and speeding, the naughty boy.
On arrival at EMA a woman collected me and wheeled me to the meet and greet parking lot and then onto my car. What a woman. 10/10
Thank goodness she fucked off before I opened the boot where my golf clubs where lain. So yes I’m a cunt but assisted travel is brill.
Nominated by Everyonesacunt.
That sounds a bit like parking in a Disabled Parking place. Once upon a time you would have been strung up by your testicles for doing it, now everyone is at it.
7
I get your drift but I saw so many fat much younger monsters doing it I just thought fuck it. I am 65 and do suffer arthritis in both knees which require injecting a couple of times a year spent 14 years down pit and 23 years teaching PE so they do fucking hurt. So in my own cunt of a mind fuck the obese 30 plus fuckers.
7
I think that probably entitles you EAC, anyone who has done 14 years down a pit deserves a bit of consideration.
Having said that there are so many fuckers abusing the system it pisses me off.
Well done getting Mrs. EAC to carry the hand baggage.
5
You need to get one of those Scamborghinis,EC.
But don’t drive it around Stevenage town centre,I think they are about to introduce a congestion charge due to the sheer volume of them.
8
Wouldn’t know. I’ve been flown.
1
Even though still able bodied.
2
Wouldn’t know. I’ve never flown.
4
That’s it for me.
I do pity the ones who have to fly and have to put up with nuisance travellers. I enjoy watching them being evicted from aeroplane’s, whereas in my opinion, I’d have them put in the human bomb compartment and dropped over the sea.
4
I’ve tried and failed to get ‘bizarre sexual perversity’ listed as ‘special needs’ to skip queues.
My assistance monkey (the one with the nimble hands) gets very impatient queueing as he gets too hot in his studded leather tabard.
10
Morning Cunt Engine….I would love to see the face of the elderly woman who opens the overhead storage locker only to see you indulging in your Claustrophilia fetish and greeting her with a cheery “guten tag”.
4
If it was an old lady, LL, she’d get a “guten hag”!
1
Why not pretend to have Saint Vitus dance, Thomas. That would get you onboard sharpish.
2
I’ve had some dealings with a disabled person and air travel. Without exception every stage was catastrophically badly handled from initially booking the flight through every stage within the airport all the way to remortgaging the house to raise the money to leave the car park. The systems are completely unfit for purpose and ALL the people you deal with appear to be of subnormal intelligence and entirely lacking even common sense.
4
The misery of air travel.
Another fucking thing that we can thank lunatic Muslims for.
Some smelly Pákí decides to stick explosives in his trainers and hundreds of millions of travelers every year since have to get their shoes x-rayed.
Other fanatical head cases take control of some planes and fly into buildings, resulting in higher security checks for everyone forever more.
Eye scanning and facial recognition, except for the people from the religion that causes the trouble.
They can’t be asked to remove their face coverings because of their religious rights.
All travelers, regardless of their colour or age are treated like suspects, not clients.
So good luck to anyone that use any ruse to make their journeys easier.
Good morning.
10
A solid “Howard Hughes” level of barbiturates then stretchered onto the aircraft.
Better than First Class.
It’s the only way to travel.
5
Interesting fact. 98.6% of Liverpool and Manchester airport passengers (not fucking ‘customers’j ask for assisted boarding on the off chance that the benefits people are on the prowl.
2
Notice how all the Border Force cunts are parking stanleys? Waiving through the darquies and fucking over whitey? Home Office policy, innit. I am surprised they haven’t reopened the aerodrome at Croydon, for exclusively blick drug runner use.
3
I seem to recall in the early 80’s,the PLO had a novel way of getting wheelchair users off a plane quite quickly.
3
Good morning ladies and gentlemen, my name is Kayleigh and I am your In-flight Services Manager for this Budget Airlines flight to Grottaria.
Please pay attention to the following Safety Announcement. In the highly likely event of an emergency evacuation of the plane, please leave by the nearest door to your seat where my colleagues Kylie and Kayla are presently standing looking like a couple of tarted-up streetwalkers.
For those passengers who required special assistance to board the plane, you’ll on your own now chums because I’m not going to break a nail helping queue-dodging cunts like you.
I wish you an enjoyable and relaxing flight.
6
However badly off yourself, there is somebody worse off than you. This does sound terrible, but can you imagine what it must be like to be Renato, Peter Mandelson’s other half, when he has to take the old bugger on a plane?: a portable lavatory, waterproof knickers and adult nappies, pile ointment, not to mention a selection of butt plugs and a gallon drum of lube leave alone the worry of having to watch him on the plane all the time to make sure he doesn’t get up to anything with the male air stewards. It must be hell for the poor duckie, and he no speako the English to go with it.
2
Nevermind cripples,fat fucks, and windowlickers.
Airlines should cater for tall people.
I need 4 seats so I can sit with my legs in front of me.
not everyone is a fuckin midget.
3
When on my last holiday, I never book any assistance. I do suffer a bit with an arthritic left knee, but don’t like to make a fuss, so I didn’t book the Gatwick ‘Chuff Chuff Chariot’ as I call it, which makes all those pneumatic exhaust noises so that everone else gets out of it’s way in time as it makes it’s way through the departure hall. So unaided, apart from my trusty walking stick I finally made it to the U.K. security, where they promptly took it off me, without even asking if I would be alright without it, so as to get it X rayed, because it is hollow. Only afterwards did I wish I had at that point just collapsed in a heap, but it may have damaged something far worse than my knee, & ruined the holiday. At the Destination – Samos (a very eastern island) I was immediately singled out, because of my walking cane, & her ladyship, & I were fast tracked to the front of the cue, with the others that had asked for the assistance. Same thing happened on the return journey, the staff were very helpful, & asked me if I needed any assistance back at Gatwick, I turned it down, although maybe I should have gone for it. Gatwick is getting to be a bit of a jog now, & the walkerlators were playing up. Back in England I then faced the usual retards walking towards me, expecting me to get out of their way. Samos was so pleasant.
2
I am of the opinion, if you can’t climb the stairs to get onto the aircraft then tough, if you can then you don’t need assistance.
Mind you I wouldn’t allow any smelly P’s on Aircraft, or soots, or ragheads, or quares, or lower classes.
Maybe there should be special planes for wheelchair users, ramp at the back and just wheel them on, obviously they would be much more expensive which would keep the riff-raff away.
2
You don’t climb the stairs there is a lift that enters you opposite side of the plane, lovely.
0
What annoys me is seeing Islamic fundamentalists waved through security whilst old age British pensioners are put in headlocks, slammed on to the metal table, and then subjected to a body-cavity search in full view of all the other passengers.
It’s a fucking disgrace.
3
In a similar vein, it irks me to see people without children using the parent and child parking spaces at the shops. We will take our grandchild to the supermarket and find all those spaces are used up, so are then forced to try and get a baby out of the back in very limited space, then dealing with the pram, etc. whilst people are impatiently trying to drive past. We will then notice fat middle aged slags and young lads returning to their cars, without children, in spaces that should have been available to us. For the sake of walking an extra 15 yards, the lazy ignorant bastards. There will be 50 disabled spaces that are mostly empty which nobody dares to set foot in, but all the cunts take advantage of the other type, which are genuinely helpful to those with kids.
1
Calm down and have a nice cup of coffee in the concourse
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=75R1AW5YrZ4
0